Will
Will is a wannabe writer, hip-hop mogul, kabob-indulger, and full-time mac-tivist. He’s also a PhD student at a Michigan-based madrassa and the brains behind KABOBfest. (Word to your um!) He is simultaneously an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent.

Fadi
This legendary student-activist and up-and-coming attorney is a gum-hating hot-tempered skinny-fat guy. He’s also an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent wrapped into one.

Fayyad
KABOBfest’s expert on boater culture is a sharp-talking and saavy opponent of spell-checker. He is the fest’s most eligible bachelor, and Jenin’s favorite blogger.

Maytha
The fest’s sweetheart and the brains behind the “May’s InRANTations” series. She’s the pop culture pundit who has her ears to the rhythms of the Arab and American worlds.

Hanaan
KF’s most manic blogger is a big-shot writer/producer for the satellite network conservative Americans love to hate. Count on her for well-researched posts. She brings it Masri-style.

Nimr
The Nimr is wandering the wastelands of post-academic life looking for a couch to sleep on or better yet a job. His liminal state allows the Nimr to ponder issues of the Arab world that arguably no one else cares about, but that is just part of his charm.

Mehammed “Abou” Mack
… is all that and a bag of batatas. This doctoral student in literary, humanistic BS is a half-Austrian and half-Saudi one-time journalist (stint with the LA weekly). As the only francophile on KABOBboard — he was trained at a French madrassah — he stalks other french-speaking Arabs, lecherously.

Emily
This undercover agent lived the double-life of a “scholar” and KABOBfest tarboush tipper until coming out of KABOBfandom to join as a poster. She now posts live from the Zionut entity, uncovering the secrets of the dairy industry and zaatar growth characteristics on either side of the apartheid wall. She would like to note that her alma mater’s basketball team perpetually beats QuiQui’s dumpy state school’s.

Mohammad
Conceived as a result of a PCP-fueled game of Twister involving Jafar from Alladin, Catwoman and a big fucking alligator, Mohammad was born in the rough sands of Gaza, where he enjoyed whipping Israeli army patrols like they were Catholic school girls and making them wear their panties on their heads. Eventually the UN had to step in and stop that nonsense, so at age 2 he found his ass shipped off to the slums of English inner-cities. These days, he’s busy buying himself a BA in Finance at the adorably limited Birzeit University, while always looking down on the rest of the Kabobers and their sports powerhouse colleges andPhd’s. Also, as the youngest member of the fest by far, he is by default cute and single.

Chaim Sugarman
KABOBfest’s token Jew is the go-to-guy for expertise on any subject. There is no subject he won’t investigate, and no trash can he won’t sift through for key documents.

Sunbula
An elite New York madrassa-educated katkoota of mixed heritage, a current quackademic intern slut for an “arab-israeli” maddraaasa, a master of Arabic literature in the blaad al-sham. After living in Palestine, Egypt and Syria, Sunbula learned to love poking fun at religion, reading classical poetry about beautiful hairless boys and making dirty jokes in Arabic.

Sama
Hailing from the Bible belt of the United States, by way of the Quran belt of Khartoum, Sudan, and born in the conveyor belt of Germany, Sama is conducting research on HIV at a west coast madrassa.

Kalash
A media guru of Levantine extract. He writes from inside the beltway, but in physical terms only.

Hanitizer
Our resident Arabic pop culture analyst. This Gazawi Youtube addict uses humor to bring Arabic stars down to size.

Tarik
KF’s much less prolific version of the Angry Arab is a hip-hop producer, MC and spoken word artist.

Jillian
Shrouded in mystery in secrecy. She probably works for the Canadian mukhabaraat. Still, this quackademic is pretty cool. She just barely qualifies as an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent.

Yaman
The consummate troublemaker, a grad of a West Coast madrassa known for rabble-rousing. He shakes up Zionuts, inviting petty lawsuits and their frustrated fisticuffs. Yaman is not an angry idiot, nor a political extremist, but is an overgrown juvenile delinquent.

Sana is an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent.

Nawal, our resident Bloggin’ Bint, is an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent.

KABOBer Emeriti

Nabeel
One of the original KABOBers, with dead-pan humor, calves the size of cantaloupes, and 38 jobs that keep him too busy to post these days.

QuiQui
A graduate worker at a madrassa that consistently boasts an extraordinary basketball team. She is the eye behind the fest’s design, as well as the Buttons for Obamatards series.