BLAME IT ON THE NIQAB!!

According to Ynet, a shit-load of Israel’s top porn sites report that between 2 – 10% of their monthly page hits stem from Muslim countries. In fact, the trend has caught on so much that many Israeli sites – like “Ratuv” (Hebrew for “wet” / FusHa for “gross as fuck”) – have started offering services in Arabic.

According to site statistics, last month there were over 2,000 hits from Riad, the capital of Saudi Arabia. The average time a Saudi surfer spends on SexV is 17:23 minutes.

Chaim Sugarman, KABOBfest’s Head of Dick-Related Statistical Affairs, notes:

Altogether, that’s 34,460 minutes of passionate pud whacking time! According to LittleSpeck.com, the average Saudi boner measures 4.9-inches – meaning 9,800-ft of Muslim dick were pleasured during this great endeavor! Given that the average jizz dispersal per dong is two teaspoons, I can say with the utmost confidence that 4,000 tea spoons of cum have been wasted on Israeli kooter. To put that in perspective, 768 teaspoons equal 1 US gallon – so last month 5.21 gallons of Saudi EJ were spilled just on kosher porn alone. That’s roughly enough dick juice to fill 50 bowls of your favorite breakfast cereal. Bone appetite!

It’s official – the niqab has succeeded in becoming so much of a cock-block that Muslim men have turned to the Middle East’s nastiest looking babes (and I use the term loosely) for some much needed imaginary lovin'.

Interestingly enough, webmasters claim that the most popular sites among young Muslims are those that feature traditional Ziofascist themes – such as female soldiers, policewomen, and Mosad agents.

The most popular video clip among Arabs, "Code name: Deep investigation," is described as "a parody dealing with the Vanunu affair with agents investigating the affair using erotic means."

And while Stockholm Syndrome's got much of the Mid East's ass-deprived pervs koos-whipped by the tips of their Hebrew Nationals - Zionuts are getting rich!

"Israeli and Arab surfers do not communicate on the website. Ideology? No, it's purely business," Tzahi laughed. "Porn will not bring about peace but at least we get some money out of our enemies' pockets."

Ain't dat some shit?

[Tarboush Tip: Fadi]