A Muslim Presidential Candidate

And no, I'm not talking about Islamofascist Trojan horse Barack Hussein "Osama" Obama and his plan to replace the Constitution with the Koran, invade America with Sharia, and appoint Bin Laden as Secretary of the Department for Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. (tarboush tip: H. Clinton)

Muslim-American political cartoonist Khalil Bendib has announced that he will "throw his fez into the ring" next Thursday (8/30).

Some skeptics, however, claim that having turned the United States of America into the world’s laughing stock over the past seven years, the current administration may be a tough act to follow, comedically speaking. … How does Khalil Bendib propose to outdo the clowns currently occupying the White House?… The key, according to candidate Bendib, will be to “Make the rest of the world laugh with us, rather than laugh at us, as has been the case for the past decade or so.”

But beyond these facile generalities, critics are asking Bendib “Where is the beef ?” and—more importantly - “is it Halal (Kosher for Muslims)?” What follows are a few planks from the candidate’s presidential platform:

* On Government waste and Pork barrel spending : As a self-respecting Muslim, you can guess how I feel about PORK: I’m not exactly wild about it!…

* On Free Trade: The “Prez in the Fez” favors the free flow of Danish goods into America—except for Islamophobic cartoons, of course…

* On Education: “Pens not guns, books not bombs, Math Instruction not Mass Destruction.”

* On the Patriot Act: “Once elected, I will act like a patriot—and repeal the Patriot Act!”

* On the Use of Torture: In the candidate’s own words, ... If you absolutely HAVE to obtain information?..Tickle, don't Torture! Amuse, don't abuse!

* Be clever and cute, don’t electrocute!

* On Nuclear proliferation: Islam is a religion of Peace and America is a Peace-loving nation. Instead of bombing Iran, we will shame the Islamic Republic into voluntarily abandoning its nuclear ambitions. How? We’ll lead by example and demand the dismantlement of all nuclear weapons everywhere, starting with the world’s largest arsenal—our own—putting back the “non” into “non-proliferation.”

* Finally, on Guantanamo Bay: The candidate says: Render unto Fidel what belongs to Fidel, have the Cubans tear down the torture center and put in something more positive there—like a dental school or something!