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Apparently Size DOES Matter for Israel

Although I can’t relate, I hear that men with small penises acquire big fancy things in order to compensate for their lack of manhood. So what does an entire nation of little dickheads do?

Not build an empire with borders that resemble a giant cock – cause that’s SO 925 B.C. These days, they just rock the world’s largest flag.

Beneath the ancient Jewish desert strongpoint of Masada, the world’s largest flag was unfurled Sunday, covering a large stretch of sandy hinterland.

The huge blue and white Israeli flag, 660 meters (2,165 feet) long and 100meters (330 feet) wide and weighing 5.2 metric tons, breaks the record for the world’s largest, according to the Tourism Ministry.

In Israel’s defense, the flag was actually created by an evangelical Christian Filipino, Grace Galindez-Gupana, who said that she decided to create the world’s largest sheet of toilet paper after G-d spoke to her “in thunder and lightening.”

Dang, what’s up with the Lord and rain showers lately? Too bad “the chosen people” aren’t Georgians

In any case, Shaul Zemach, director general of the Israeli Ministry of Tourism, topped off the unveiling with a fabulous soundbyte:

“This flag expresses the friendship between the Philippines and the state of Israel, and also the friendship between Jewish and Christian communities.”

Zemach must be referring to a “friendship” based on a giant overshadowing of importance, because Israel is destroying Christianity in the Holy Land. But who cares about that? After all, Israel now has a BIG FLAG!! Woohoo!!!

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No Responses to “Apparently Size DOES Matter for Israel”

  1. a nation of little dickheads?! hahah, nadeem, you are soo funny!! and smart!! those black rimmed glasses really work :)

    Posted by Anonymous | November 25, 2007, 7:35 pm
  2. Its funny how people try to fill up the voids of their “shortcomings”. Bahrain tried to do a similar record-breaking flag, done by the Chinese, but I dn’t know if its the same size of the Israelis. Will find out and let you know.

    Posted by SoulSearch | November 25, 2007, 11:10 pm
  3. This post amounts to little more than a therapeutic rant. However, your emphasis on penis-worship reminds me of a story told by my Rabbi’s father, who is a psychologist.

    A little boy was having problems in school, so his parents took him to a psychologist. There, he was administered the Rorschach inkblot test – the one where an inkblot is shown and the patient describes what he sees.

    The doctor showed the first picture, to which the boy responded, “It’s a man and a woman, and you know what they’re doing?” The doctor showed a second slide, and the boy replied, “It’s another man and woman, and you know what they’re doing?” The psychologist showed a third slide, and once again, the boy said, “It’s a man and woman, and you know what they’re doing?!”

    “Little boy,” the psychologist says, “you seem to have a preoccupation with sex.

    “Me?!” says the boy. “You’re the one with the dirty pictures!”

    To most people, including me, the Kingdom of Israel under King David is a set of lines on a map. To you, Nadeem, it is a penis.

    I think we can all draw some conclusions from this.

    Posted by Victor | November 26, 2007, 1:32 am
  4. lool victor your reply was (unintentionally) amusing. its a joke dude.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 26, 2007, 4:47 am
  5. LOOOOOOOOOL, great article. Love the metaphor and the irony. This penis is so pencil shaped. It is the last thing a woman could ask for and it is not good for sex. It is too narrow and the probability of breaking inside is pretty high: P Would not hedge for an offer ;) The flag would make a decent cigar for smoking …

    Posted by Arezou | November 26, 2007, 9:06 am

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