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Break Me Off a PEACE of that Kit Kat Bar!

Thank you Associated Press for dumb-ing down the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to the point where it seems more like a “duh” than a “hmmmm.” Both Israelis and Palestinians, as well as the AP’s readership, should feel offended by such weak and condescending “reporting” (I use the term loosely).

This is precisely the reason why many people separate from the issue can’t understand why those A-rabs and Jews don’t just stop fighting and live together in peace. Apparently, it’s as simple as buying a Kit Kat bar

Among the most contentious issues between Israelis and Palestinians:


-Palestinians want complete Israeli withdrawal from the West Bank.
-Israel wants 1949 cease-fire line changed to include main West Bank settlements.
-Possible solution: Modification of the cease-fire line and compensation by giving Palestinians some Israeli territory.

-Palestinians want east Jerusalem, including the Old City, as capital of their state.
-Israel has annexed east Jerusalem and offers control of some Arab neighborhoods.
-Possible solution: Sharing control of the city.

-Palestinians demand the right of return for refugees and descendants of 1948-49 war.
-Israel believes refugees must be resettled in the new Palestinian state or where they now reside.
-Possible solution: Compensation for most, while allowing a token number to live in Israel.

-Palestinians demand all Jewish West Bank settlements to be dismantled.
-Israel wants to keep main settlement blocs under its sovereignty.
-Possible solution: Israel gets its main West Bank settlements, Palestinians get part of Israeli land.

I hate to get racial on you, but it sounds pretty black n’ white to me. All those other factors about human rights, international law, land value, religious and political ideology, sovereignty, etc are just there to complicate things. Shit, if Olmert and Abbasshole sign something in the next couple days, we can be celebrating with some Israeli Chummos by this time next week. Let’s hear it for “Peace in the Middle East!”

[Tarboush tip: B-MOC]

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No Responses to “Break Me Off a PEACE of that Kit Kat Bar!”

  1. I find it interesting that you point out that the situation in the Middle East is very complex and layered and that a simple “la di da di” solution would never work. I’m sure that is a point everyone can agree on. Yet at the same time, some are clamoring for a one state solution based on peace and harmony and equality and rainbows. Somehow this fairy tale one-state is achievable, while at the same time those same individuals mock the ‘dumbing down’ of the conflict. It doesn’t take a genius to see the hypocracy there.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 26, 2007, 7:13 pm
  2. There’s been done (and continues to be done) an imense amount of research on the one-state solution and the complexities of such a solution. Anyone who’s followed that school closely will note that. No one in the one-state camp claims that it’s simple, easily achievable, or anything else idealistic. All they argue is that given the two ideologies of nationalism that both people have, it’s the most feasible – next to genocide.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 26, 2007, 7:40 pm
  3. it is anything BUT feasible. When it comes to the one state solution I notice that a lot of people just jump to the endpoint without ever detailing how to go about arriving there.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 26, 2007, 9:51 pm
  4. “given the two ideologies of nationalism that both people have” is the PRECISE reason why a one state solution is absurd and impracticable.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 26, 2007, 9:56 pm

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