God Apparently Is Just A "Prick"

Northern Georgia, Last week (KFN)- Georgians seemed irate Tuesday after what they regarded an “un-cool prank” from God. “This s a pretty serious situation here, and humor is no appreciated, we need a serious response,” said farmer John Corcher in response to the trickle or rain that fell on Georgia a day after a multi-faith rain prayer organized by governor Sonny Purdue took place at the steps of the state capitol.

“We know the Lord has sense of humor, but this is a serious situation,” said governor Perdue while on a trade trip to Montréal. “We timed this prayer with a rainstorm that has been forecast for more than a week to avoid this embarrassing situation. It’s like he’s telling us ‘I got your rain right here,’ now he’s just being, dare I say, a prick” Added the governor as he cupped his crotch with his right hand.

God has a sense of humor alright, not only did she tease drought-stricken Georgia with insufficiently few drops of rain, she also drenched the Carolina’s with torrential raining, once again siding with Big Tobacco. Other states like Tennessee and Kentucky got more than they needed as well. A week has passed and no more rain had fallen, an indication that god is not looking favorebly on Georgia, and that the "tease" was meant to be more than a joke.

“A joke? May be, but not a prank” objected Hassan Omreyeh, a farmer from Southern Lebanon, "when god pulls a prank, you’ll know it, he just teased them with a little rain, it's not like he plagued them with exploding rain.” He added in reference to this week’s cluster-bomb storm that hit the densely populated south.

Ironically, not only does rain prayer seem laughable to atheists, but sadly, rain prayers seem so to followers of other faiths. In Islam, believers take out to the fields, in droves, with their livestock, turn their cloths inside out for dramatic effect to demonstrate to god more misery than she actually had inflicted on the inhabitants of the drought-stricken land as they perform the rain prayer known as Salat Alistisqa’. However, to those people, Native American rain dances seemed nothing more than comic relief.

Similarly, Christianity’s history is no short on example of condescension towards social and spiritual practices of other cultures, but it’s not like it expanded on missions that asked or forced indigenous populations to give up their “savage” native practices because it’s wrong and the bible is right, that would have been awful.

But hey, there are times when one would rather pray with a Muslim over compromising with an atheist, especially if it helps them bring religion back into the government.

Happy Thanksgiving