There’s an interesting little competition going on at the Gaza-Egypt border, with three competitors (the Egyptian government, Israel and Abbasshole and Co.) in a tense, last-minute struggle for the title of 2007’s Dickheads of the Year (DOTY).

With the Rafah crossing (the only border crossing available to most Gazan’s) closed since June, there were legitimate fears that Gaza’s Hajj pilgrims would be denied the chance to take part in this sacred rite. Abbasshole immediately sensed the opportunity to impress the judges presiding over DOTY (aka the US Congress) by claiming that Hamas does not want the pilgrims to get to Mecca. Doesn’t matter if that shit doesn’t make sense, it’s all game here. Abbasshole and Israel then conspired to bring the issue to a level of spitefulness not seen since Mohammad Dahlan was in highschool, by giving a number of Fatah supporters the chance to travel through the Erez crossing from Gaza, into Israel, onto the West Bank, then Jordan and finally Saudi Arabia. Everybody else had to stay home.

Gleefully and shamelessly masquerading their little deal, Abbasshole and Co. felt confident that they were only a few more weeks of strangling their own people away from toppling Hamas. But then Egypt decided to get all up in that mess, allowing the rest of Gaza’s pilgrims to leave through Rafah in a one-off act of compassion. Also, a one-off bigass fuck you to Abbasshole. Props to Om il Donya.

Israel, which would like to remind you that it Left Gaza Two Years Ago©, was obviously not very happy. Why should Palestinians leave from Gaza into another country and not be subjugated to Israeli control? How utterly offensive. So they took shit down to levels not seen since Avigdor Lieberman was in 7^th grade in Moldova, and upped the pressure on the US Congress to withhold aid to Egypt until it lets Israel search and interrogate people that would be crossing between Egypt and Gaza. Again, Israel would like to remind you it Left Gaza Two Years Ago©.

For those of you who appreciate clean competition, this twist is rather vulgar. The judges are, mother of shockers, biased! And the losers are the Palestinians pilgrims. Back to the story.

The pilgrims who left through Erez were allowed back into Gaza yesterday. Israel couldn’t resist a last shot at the title, by opening machine gun fire at the returning pilgrims as they awaited inspection. Khaldiyya Hamdan, 55, was murdered, raising the stakes exponentially. Egypt, however, was not to be outdone. Announcing that the pilgrims would not be allowed to go home through Rafah, the authorities dumped them at makeshift camps in Alareesh, where several Palestinians have died already in the past year waiting to go home. The pilgrims at first refused to get down from their buses, and then threatened to violently resist being forced to go through Israel. The reality, however, is that most of the pilgrims are elderly or ill. This afternoon, Khadra Sa’d, 67, passed away at a nearby hospital after her medical situation deteriorated in the camp.

There are mere hours left till the deadline passes and the winner of Dickheads of the Year 2007 is announced. I really hope the Egyptians display the courage they did in allowing the pilgrims to leave through Rafah by allowing them to go home safely, en route to permanently opening the border, whose closure has contributed to the suffocating humanitarian situation in Gaza. As for the other two contestants, Israel is Israel. And Abbasshole? He can’t go to hell soon enough.