The Joys of Clalit

I hate Clalit. Clalit is one of the four major Sick Funds (health insurance companies) in Israel, and has shaped my interaction with the health care system in Israel. While Israel has top-notch care available in major hospitals in Jerusalem, the experiences in the Clalit clinic in the Palestinian town where I've visited as a patient have only served to make me resolve never to go back. Those details aren't as funny as the new events from today, so I'll share with you the latter and not the former.

Health insurance became mandatory for every Israeli citizen in 1995 (The National Health Insurance Law), which forbade the sick funds from refusing membership to anyone. As a result, health insurance became more accessible to the Palestinian citizens. Despite this, there remain major health discrepancies for the Palestinian population in several areas, including breast cancer early detection and survival, and infant mortality rates: 4.0 in 1,000 live births for Jewish citizens of Israel, 8.4 for Palestinian citizens, and 15.0 for the Bedouin in the Naqab (World Bank).

I can never look at statistics like these without also considering the West Bank and Gaza as well. It doesn't make sense to me to consider the situation inside Israel by itself. Israel exercises sovereignty (no matter what the PA stands for) over the whole of the territory of Mandate Palestine and then some. So let's just keep in mind people like this woman, who risked major complications by posing as an Israeli to try to get major surgery, while the person she posed as had a different blood type. Israel controls the resources available to hospitals in the Occupied Territories, and controls peoples' fundamental access to those resources. It makes more sense to keep the whole in mind.

But since I'm talking about how I hate Clalit, let's focus on 48. (Not even the areas taken into Israel by the wall, since I don't think the people living in the annexed parts, if they have Palestinian or Jerusalem ID, have Sick Fund coverage. For more information on the Sick Funds and the role they play regarding the Palestinian population inside of Israel, Rhoda Ann Kanaaneh explores this issue in depth in one of her chapters in her book (which is awesome and you should read) Birthing the Nation. Highly simplified version: the Sick Funds act as contraception-pushers for Palestinian women, and the opposite for Jewish women, bringing the politics of Israel's 'demographic challenge' into people's reproductive decisions.

That isn't the main reason why I hate Clalit. My personal enmity for Clalit is due to stuff like this:

Me: [calls Clalit Clinic in Nazareth, navigates Arabic menu, does not press 2 for Hebrew]
Clalit Clinic: [answers in Hebrew]
Me: Hello, do you speak English?
Clalit: One minute. [puts me on hold]

[Repeat asking for English speaker three times, put on hold each time, give up. From here on, everything with Clalit is in Arabic.]

Me: Hello I am coming tomorrow for an appointment and I need to know what bus goes by the clinic.
Clalit: One minute. [puts me on hold, no one answers and phone goes to fax. I call back.]

[Repeat the above four times, get fifth person.]

Me: Listen, do not hang up on me, you are the fifth person I'm talking to, I have an appointment tomorrow and I need to know how to get to the clinic.
Clalit: I don't know.
Me: You can't ask someone?
Clalit: No, we are four here and we all drive.
Me: You can't look outside and see the bus sign?
Clalit: No, we aren't Egged.
Me: Ok, where are you located?
Clalit: Near the French Hospital.
Me: Ok thanks.

[Look up bus to Nazareth in general on website, find bus at 7 am, call Egged, get told there is no bus at 7 am. Decide to take taxi. Remember I should get prescribed a blood test for which I should fast, and that the other Clalit Clinic required you to make a separate appointment entirely for labwork in a lab only open three days per week.]

Me: [Calls Clalit again.]
Clalit: Hello?
Me: Hello, I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and I know I will need to take a blood test. Can I make an appointment for the blood test?
Clalit: We don't do those appointments. You should talk to the nurses for that.
Me: Ok, can I talk to them?
Clalit: To who?
Me: The nurses.
Clalit: Oh sure. One minute. [puts me on hold.]

[phone rings until goes to fax. I call back again, press 3 for nurses.]

Me: Hello, I need to make an appointment for a blood test tomorrow. I want to know if it's possible to do it in the morning and record my name now.
Clalit: One minute.

[rings 47 times, periodically interrupted by a woman who checks to see I'm still there and then lets it ring again. at least I don't have to call back.]

Clalit Nurse: Hello?
Me: Hello, I need to make an appointment for a blood test.
Clalit Nurse: One minute. [puts me on hold.]

[Repeat four times.]

Fifth Clalit Nurse: Hello?
Me: Hello, I have to do a blood test tomorrow, can I please record my name for that?
Fifth Clalit Nurse: The lab is open until 9:30 am. There is no need to record your name.



Tarboush Tip: Will