Clergy Brawl Reveals Architectural Flaw
The Orthodox Easter ends today after a week of tense negotiations between Armenian and Greek Orthodox. The fights which broke out on Palm Sunday a week and a day ago included pushing priests to the ground, kicking them, and beating one another with palm fronds.
I would just like to point out that this all could be avoided were the architecture inside of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre rearranged to coincide with the structural changes taking over the rest of the Holy Land. The Holy Sepulchre is currently in the shape of a large underground circle- to get from one place to the other, you have to walk through all areas in between. It could simply be rearranged (destroying all natural contiguity of the cave structure, but what the hell- the Apartheid Wall and settlement roads already destroys all natural contiguity of the land above ground.) Might I suggest that the natural cave be divided by a series of floor-to-ceiling concrete walls, and that separate entrances be constructed where the guards question your knowledge of either Armenian, Greek, Latin, Episcopalian, Unitarian, Methodist, Maronite, or other group tradition. You must pass this test, which also determines your identity, to gain entry to your respective position (Unitarian will have an excess of the rejects from other sections). Entrants will enter and leave without ever seeing each other. Separation is clearly the only way to solve this.
Tarboush Tip: Fayyad
