[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LPubUCJv58]
Last year, Christopher Hitchens proved to the world that your girlfriends aren’t lying when they tell you that getting a bikini wax qualifies as torture. (WARNING: Clicking on that link will take you to Hitchy’s leg pubes.)
And now this year, Hitchens has uped the torture antee by undergoing the waterboarding. The verdict: “Believe Me, It’s Torture,” he says. And you know what? I totally believe it now.
Some things, as Christopher Hitchens knows, are just more believable when they come from a white guy. From a white guy with a British accent. Spoken to the beat of Eurotrash techno music. Maybe next year he can strap a car battery to his testicles and let us know how that goes.
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There are consequences to fucking with America. I hear KSM lasted 30 seconds before spilling his guts to participating in 31 acts of terrorism.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:40 pmI am very rude, heartless and unkind. Please do not listen to anything I have to say, for I say nothing to benefit your lives.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:44 pmImposter.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:45 pmYes, I agree with myself that I am a subpar human being. I would go away, except I have no life other than to keep hitting the “refresh” button on this site to see if I can continue these conversations with myself.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:45 pmI told you, and “imposter.”
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:46 pmI know you are, but what am I?
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:46 pmNo, you are not. I have no idea what you just said.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:47 pmWhat? Yes I am.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:47 pmWhat? You’re not making any sense.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:47 pmOh you’re right. You did. Okay, well, then… YOUR MOM.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:47 pmYour mom says she understands me.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:48 pmYou’re the only one who does.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:48 pmWell, I understand me.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:48 pmEew. That was tortourously uncalled for.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:49 pmWell, your DAD says he understands ME.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:49 pmYea, isn’t that what this post was about?
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:50 pmHa ha. You said, “torturously.”
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:50 pmYou’re welcome. And I’m welcome, too!
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:51 pmHey, thanks!
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:51 pmOh you’re right. Clever way of bringing it back home.
Posted by Firouz | July 2, 2008, 3:51 pmYou finished?
Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2008, 3:56 pmThis is hilarious!
Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2008, 3:58 pmWell, Hitch is a fat gut, whiskey-swilling megasmoker who’s probably spent much less time eating pussy than most. Hence, his breath control is far below the average and he is therefore a poor subject for comparison.
Posted by Ismail | July 3, 2008, 6:25 am