Homeless Group Sues Apple
A non-profit group based in New York City filed a federal class action lawsuit against Apple, Inc., the company that makes the iPod MP3 player. The organization Homeless United for Change cites the personal mp3 players as causing a massive drop in change spared for beggars.
The suit was filed yesterday in a Manhattan Federal Court by the group. The homeless group seeks unspecified damages for loss of business. “When a homeless man reaches out asking for change, those who pass by do not even get to hear his pitch,” said Lawrence Fish, executive director for the Homeless United for Change group. “Homeless folks have seen a decline in revenue that correlates with the introduction and marketing of various Apple gadgets. It’s frustrating,” Fish said.
The lawsuit reportedly targets the iPod Shuffle and Nano, but not the iPhone.
“My clients are concerned that the company was kind of rushing to judgment on this, that they were not giving the proper consideration particularly to the homeless issues,” said Richard Richards, attorney for Homeless United for Change. Mr. Richards added “MP3 players are more of a threat to the homeless people than Osama Bin Laden.”
“I think it’s a typical Homeless United for Change lawsuit that has no merit,” said Apple’s attorney Tom Jams, dismissing the suit. “It’s sort of sad that homeless people don’t trust their fellow city dwellers to give them the change they need.”
Apple, Inc. is doing its part, promising to sue Homeless United for Change for defamation, libel and slander. A spokesperson for the homeless group said she had not been served as of 4 pm eastern time (as she is homeless) and had no comment about the counter suit.
“We used to like apples and jobs, but now thanks to the iPod, we hate Apple and resent Jobs,” said Brain Komati, a homeless veteran who plays the violin. “My competitors used to be street drummers, but now I have to compete with Bruce, Busta Ryhmes, and Madonna.”
Someone’s bad news is another’s good one. Tyrone Washington, self-proclaimed Homeless Republican entrepreneur took advantage of negative impact the iPod has on the homeless to introduce his Jam-a-ton JammerZ, a device he claims would jam Mp3 players as they pass within 3 feet of a homeless. “It works to give the homeless enough time to make his/her pitch to those passing by”
Albert Mohammad (not his real name for fear of the wrath of the homeless Mafia) spoke to www.kabobfest.com “I actually like my iPod, now I have a good reason to dodge annoying strangers.”
Outrageous Legal UPDATE: Santa Clause is caught in a bitter legal battle with a New Jersey Arab American kid who left him a plate full of falafel and mint tea, and not cookies and milk as it is customary!
