Viagra Makes Advances Against Taliban

By Fayyad

CIA officials have begun distributing Viagra pills to Afghani warlords in exchange for information and cooperation. The rationale here is to make the warlord ingest 2-3 pills at once, and 1 hour later subject him to questioning, every time he tells a lie, his nose will grow longer.

No, really, whether it’s the pleasure of four days of none stop sex with four young Afghani women or the reassertion of authority for an aging head of clan, the pills are turning those old geasors into putty in the hands of CIA agents.
In one case, a 60-year-old warlord with four wives was given four pills and four days later detailed Taleban movements in return for more.

In the case of the 60-year-old warlord – the head of a clan in southern Afghanistan who had not co-operated – operatives saw he had four younger wives.

The pills were explained and offered. Four days later the agents returned. “He came up to us beaming,” the Post quoted an agent as saying. “He said, ‘You are a great man.’ “And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area.”

The new CIA field manual on the distribution of Viagra recommends the pills not be issued to anyone with more than four wives, as they estimate the information delay is about 1 day per wife, and could be too risky to allow sensitive information to sit more than four days.
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7 Responses to “Viagra Makes Advances Against Taliban”

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