On January 28 of this year, a Federal Judge approed the holding of a guy who used to cook for the Taliban. U.S. District Judge Richard Leon said that Ghaleb Nassar Al Bihani’s work as an assistant cook with Taliban fighters made him an enemy combatant of the United States. This is reason enough for the U.S. military to continue holding him.

“After all, as Napoleon himself was fond of pointing out, ‘An army marches on its stomach,’” Judge Leon said.

I don’t know how 19th century Frenchmen walked back then, given the effects of evolution, but these days soldiers march on their feet. Even Nancy Sinatra knows what boots are made for: walking all over you (Afghans).

That said, the U.S. government must aggressively pursue those who enable the Taliban to march with shoes or sandals or hole-filled socks, from the manufacturers to the salesmen who sold them.

While some may dismiss the idea of punishing those who shine and wax Taliban shoes, it is important to keep in mind that shiny shoes indicate that the Taliban is not being opposed. The people of the villages will see the gleam of Taliban boots and think they are destined to rule. If they were muddy and scoffed, the people would think the Taliban were on the ropes. Thus, they enable pro-Taliban propaganda.

The Taliban’s (and the [t]aliban’s) shoe shiners must be captured.

If you are unconvinced, just imagine if an Afghan fighter gets a chance to throw his shoes at Karzai or Obama. While dirtier footwear would be more insulting, it would at least be a sign of coming from the mountains. Nicely shined shows would remind people of prosperity and advancement, and attract many Afghans to the Taliban.

Related posts:

1. Iraq Throws the Book at Shoe-tosser
2. The “Arab Culture” and the Shoe: Let’s Put on our Orientalist Anthropological Musing Caps On Shall We?
3. The other shoe
4. Waiting for the Other Shoe…
5. Viagra Makes Advances Against Taliban