In a recent exchange between myself and my fellow KABOBers, a divisive debate was sparked. Typed gasps were exchanged as were statements questioning each others mental stability and capacity in judging human aesthetics. The debate initially began as a discussion over a recent poll taken by the Spanish paper 20 Minutos, known for its innovative approach to fighting patriarchy, on the the fairest women holding public office. The list is fairly yawn-inducing and even contentious given its alarming inclusion of current Secretary of State, eternal Presidential failure, Hilary Clinton. Most noticeably, especially to KABOBfest, four Israeli ministers also received shout-outs. Great. Cookie?
While such a poll is complete and utter shit and counterproductive for the advancement of women in politics and the general public realm, it struck me that no Middle Eastern or South Asian or African female politician made the list. There were a couple of Japanese politicians and one Indonesian, but I’m banking on the whole “Me love you long time” craze shit that has continued to persist for their inclusion. I mentioned, thus, to my fellow bloggers how I felt that perhaps one of the most attractive females within the public realm was Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s wife, Asma al-Assad. I mentioned, casually, in the same sentence that perhaps Rania should consider moving over. The KABOBers would not have any of this and most of them vehemently disagreed with me, stating that only in the “anorexic woman’s reality-contorted mind” could such a “skeletor” be found attractive.
The consensus thus seemed to be within the group that Queen Rania was, in fact, hotter than Asma al-Assad. As the usual shit-disturber, and in honour of Syria as our spotlight country, I have taken it upon myself to go against the grain and prove to you, the blogosphere audience, that Asma al-Asad is much hotter. You are also obligated to accept my opinion given that I am writing this blog post and you are not.
Jordanian Queen Rania “Social Media” al-Abdullah
In addition to her physical beauty, The Queen is a social activist. She has taken it upon herself to start the worldwide revolution visa vis the growing influence of social media, in particular: YouTube. Her prime goal has been mending the clash of civilizations by increasing values of tolerance and similar shit through encouraging and increasing open ‘cross-cultural dialogue.’ She has used her eloquence and education, as well as her position, to do her part on fighting stereotypes and misrepresentations of Muslims and Arabs. Big ambitions for such a pretty bint.
Why is she not hot enough? Because she just wreaks of hypocrisy. As a friend of mine pointed out, she speaks outside of Jordan. Her target audience is primarily Western, and while she often discusses the problems in the general “Arab/Muslim World” she never discusses the problems rampant within Jordan itself. She’s brought up the issue of ‘honour killings’ but more so in an apparent lip-service side issue than anything much else. She is the Queen after all, and Parliament still has not done anything to treat such killings as seriously as other types of homicides. I don’t know man, if I were Queen I’d make sure that shit was taken care of like my French manicured nails.
There’s also something hokey and apologetic about her videos. Take this one for example in which she shows off her math skills and tries to gain some piety points while she’s at it. In the last video posted on her YouTube channel, she is being interviewed by a more-than-usual jerkface Wolf Blitzer (who seems to be in shock that Queen Rania is able to respond to his ignorance and bigotry). In it, she brings up the point that there needs to be a change in mentality in the Arab world in order for successful education for young girls. And yet, rather than reaching out to the Arabs she wishes would change – she settles for being an apologist and regurgitating facts and opinions already projectile vomited all over the ‘Western’ media post-9/11.
Additionally, I follow her on Twitter and have found her to be extremely self-centered and extremely lacking in grammar skills, with tweets such as “Excited by ur energy. My passion’s getting kids in2 school , I wnt it 2 be urs . 75m kids out of school. Wht cn WE do abt it?” I don’t give a shit if you’re only allowed 140 characters or if you’re a royal, bitches you best be using proper grammar at all times.
Syrian First Lady Asma al-Assad
So, why is she hotter? I actually don’t know where to begin with this woman. Forget the elegant beauty and the sick sense of fashion. Forget all of that. The First Lady first caught my attention with this little appearance. I watched in complete awe – she was eloquent, intelligent, fierce, rational and also emotional. She was not commanding attention for herself but for the ‘barbaric’ invasion of Gaza and the plight of Palestinian women. Yeah, pretty hot. She wasn’t afraid to sound “too political” as opposed to Queen Rania, (Palestinian) Queen of one of Israel’s closest Arab allies, who appealed for help for Gazan children through UNICEF. While I’m not trying to diminish at all Rania’s efforts – rather, I applaud her for them – Asma just showed that she had bigger balls. And yeah, I think that’s pretty hot in an individual, quite honestly.
But it doesn’t end there. What I respect perhaps the most about Asma al-Assad are her efforts to better the lives of Syrians through economic and technological development. While she keeps a relatively low profile, she’s an extremely involved member of her society. She’s the founder of an NGO (although, is it really an NGO if she’s the founder? Think about it) known as the Fund for Integrated Rural Development in Syria also known as F.I.R.D.O.S. Thus, rather than focusing solely only on the importance of diplomatic finesse between two wrongly constructed civilizational faultlines, she has recognized that within her country there are problems which need to be not only addressed but worked upon; viable solutions must be found. She not only recognizes the importance of independent and sustainable economic development in Syrian villages and rural towns but also of the immediate importance of computer technology (she’s apparently qualified in computer science). Additionally, within her economic development activism, she has focused on the role of women in rural development and the role of women in commerce. Makes sense given that this First Lady’s previous job was as a J.P Morgan investment banker.
Ugh. So hot.
Also, she gets major points for getting hitched to this dude.
Filed Under Asma al-Assad, Queen Rania, Sana, satire