Haaretz (censored) reports that Israeli airline El Al is changing the term “separation wall” to “security fence” on all maps of Israel/Palestine that it distributes to passengers.
The error (?) was noticed by Israel ’s consul general in Los Angeles , Yeki “Eagle Eyes” Dayan, as he boarded a plane to occupied Palestine .
Apologizing for the anti-Semitic oversight, El Al released a statement that read: “As soon as the Foreign Ministry approached us we withdrew those maps and ordered new ones.”
Some, however, believe that the airline company has not gone far enough in its attempt to set the record straight. The folks at KABOBfest, for instance, have been left dismayed and distraught by El Al’s absurd characterization of Israel ’s unilateral and illegal declaration of borders as merely a “security fence.”
As such, we’ve compiled a list of more accurate descriptions for El Al to use on its new maps:
- “Star of the film, Lemon Tree” – Will
- “Knee-high Holocaust-prevention cherry-flavored clothesline” – Fadi
- “Mental barrier” – Fayyad
- “One huge and giant Slim Jim” – Chaim
- “100 Yards of CVS Brand Unwaxed Fluoride Dental Floss” – Programmer Buydatti
- “White picket fence” – Mohammad
- “Post-modern structuralist interpretation of the Facebook wall” – Sana
- “Run-proof mosquito net” – Nawal
Feel free to use the comments section to add your suggestions to the list.
Related posts:
- Finally! A “wall” not a “fence”
- Israel builds electric fence along Egypt border
- Discourse around the Wall
- Canada’s Security Fence
- Reuters Rules
Yeah, Will, we get it that you don't like the idea its hard for suicide bombers to blow up Israeli pre-schools these days. What else is new? You don't really expect the Israelis to facilitate their own murder, do you?
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 4:34 pmIf you want to build a wall, try building it on Israeli territory instead of across a Palestinian village
Posted by Shafiq | June 9, 2009, 8:22 pmI'm not Israeli, but if I was to build a wall in hopes of preventing suicidal asshats from coming into my neighborhood and killing my children, I'd build it where it would be most likely to do the most good. Which probably would be around THEIR neighborhoods, and not in mine. If they make it into my neighborhood, the wall isn't going to do any good. They are already where they need to be.
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 9:27 pmYou've obviously never heard of building a wall on the edge of one's own territory. And the wall isn't built around their neighbourhoods, it's built across them, sometimes encircling them.
Posted by Shafiq | June 10, 2009, 10:18 amActually, I've never heard of building a wall to stop suicide bombers, either, Shafiq. Luckily that's not something most countries have had to deal with in the past,.
Posted by programmer craig | June 10, 2009, 9:53 pmOops! I called you Will. My bad! No offense intended, "Programmer" :p
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 4:36 pmHey Buydatti, sinc eyour post was boring how about a comment on this?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7905…
These range from the firing of high explosive artillery shells, which have a large margin of error, in populated areas…
So now they claim use of artillery in populated areas is a war crime, eh? Well, every military to fight a battle in the last 300 years is guilty of war crimes then, including the Pakistani military right now.
Lets have some indictments, folks. Just indict everyone. Every member state of the UN. That should be fun.
…to concerns that Israeli forces were trigger-happy in their use of more precise weapons such as tank shells.
And if that didn't net enough perps, then using a better alternative to artillery is also a war crime. So, basically, war itself is a war crime!
And then there's the flip side of the investigations, that doesn't involve absurd accusations:
There has never been any doubt that Palestinian militants' use of rockets to target civilians in southern Israel was a violation of international humanitarian law.
No shit? So where are the indictments, then? And why are we referring to HAMAS as "militants"? Is it bad to use the name HAMAS in the same sentence you talk about clear and unambiguous war crimes? Why is that, I wonder? And also, why no mention of the scores of suicide bombings against Israeli civilians that HAMAS has taken credit for committing? Is there any doubt THOSE are war crimes? A lot of those case are 15 years old. 15 YEARS. No indictments against HAMAS? What's the deal? Is it that hard to drop a charge sheet on the leadership of HAMAS? Really? I wonder why they won't do it? Hmmmm….
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 5:46 pmpc, you sure do enjoy conversing with yourself. we missed you, kfest just wouldn't be the same without you raping the comments section. you missed hanitizer's post though.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 6:25 pmWho do you expect me to converse with, when all I ever get is smart-ass and/or insulting replies that have nothing to do with anything? Here I am trying to salvage Buydatti's dumb post, and this is the thanks I get? You guys should make me a member and at least there'd be things worth reading here, once in a while. Though I do tend to enjoy Hanitizer's lists.
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 6:43 pmthat's a great idea. i'm going to push for that.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 6:47 pmOh please do! That's what I wanted all this time. I'll even suck your dick!
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 7:17 pmwhat're you, 10 years old?
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 3:30 pmNo. But if that's what you want, I can role play. Punish me daddy! Punish me!
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 7:41 pmYour last two comments are neither insulting nor humurous. They're just strange.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 7:45 pmTypical Will, blaming the victim: "Israel facilitated its own murder by stealing the land of another people and committing acts of violence against them, thereby establishing the basis for vendettas and future just resistance"
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 9:08 pmGood ol' typical Will. Interesting little-known fact about Will that I hope you will bring up ad nauseum in all of your future comments: Will once dated a rabidly right-wing Christian Zionist. 2 months into the relationship, she broke up with him after she discovered he wasn't a Zionist as he had claimed to be. I kid you not, the last thing she ever said to him was, "I hope you get left behind!" I think that must be a rapture reference. Can you please end all of your comments to Will with that. "I hope you get left behind!" I know for a fact that it would really bother him.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 9:20 pmShe was blonde, wasn't she.
Posted by SanaKF | June 9, 2009, 10:14 pmGood ol' typical Will. Interesting little-known fact about Will that I hope you will bring up ad nauseum in all of your future comments…
You do realize that person isn't me, right Fadi? Check the IP. I bet $20 its Will that you are replying to about Will :p
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 11:31 pmnobody cares.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 9, 2009, 11:37 pmnobody cares.
The story of KABOBfest?
It's pretty bad when your number one guy is not only making posts where he links videos he hasn't even watched, but then trolls his own posts while impersonating readers. Is that supposed to be comedy? Because if that's how serious you KABOBfest bloggers take your own blog, then how seriously should the readers take you?
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 11:45 pmAny chance you guys can IP block this person who is pretending to be me?
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 9:17 pmWOW, such audacity.
Posted by Anonymous | June 9, 2009, 9:29 pmooh! ooh! i got one, will!!
9. The WallWOW! (like the ShamWOW) — makes it all fuzzy and cuddly-sounding! And it's so absorbent!
Posted by nora b-f | June 9, 2009, 10:46 pmwait… wait… aww shucks, looks like, still, nobody cares.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 10, 2009, 12:06 amlol. That's my line, when people ask me why I only comment here to make fun of the bloggers. I don't care, you don't care, and nobody else cares. Wonderful!
Posted by programmer craig | June 10, 2009, 12:36 amBy the way I notice you got a 1 thumbs up on that stupid ass one liner. You're logging in your other accounts and voting for yourself, aren't you?
Posted by programmer craig | June 10, 2009, 12:38 amyup, not of my own volition. it's the default setting. my goal is to have the highest number of points by posting a ton of meaningless comments. thankfully, you're not registered because I'm not sure I could compete with you.
Posted by kabobfadi | June 10, 2009, 12:51 pmYou can't compete with me anyway, fool. My brain is larger than a peanut, and yours isn't.
Posted by programmer craig | June 10, 2009, 2:57 pmO
Posted by kabobfadi | June 10, 2009, 3:45 pmK
Posted by kabobfadi | June 10, 2009, 3:45 pmHello . . . my name is Programmer Craig and my dad could have used one of those Israeli condoms and would have saved you from dealing with my shit! My mom told me to get him some while I was over there, but I failed at yet another small thing.
Cry my a river! Play me a violin!
Posted by Programmer Craig | June 10, 2009, 12:15 amokay, if you're going to play PC then realize that he doesn't use any capitalization in his ID.
geez.
details, people, details.
Posted by SanaKF | June 10, 2009, 1:47 amI think your hijab's on too tight missy
Posted by Jared Muntz | June 10, 2009, 7:49 pmProgrammer Crackhead,
It is an honor to be confused with a Programmer. Such a moniker is a symbol of integrity and valor, even despite being under a shameful cover of anonymity.
Israel facilitated its own murder by stealing the land of another people and committing acts of violence against them, thereby establishing the basis for vendettas and future just resistance.
Surely, you do not expect the Palestinians to accept their displacement?!?
Maybe you do. maybe you think they can all join you in cyberspace to live among you and your fellow flotsam in blog comments boards, your version of the promised land. Would you invite the dispossessed and downtrodden people into your new land oh wise and benevolent leader?
Will
Posted by KABOBfestWill | June 9, 2009, 7:42 pmIsrael facilitated its own murder by stealing the land of another people and committing acts of violence against them, thereby establishing the basis for vendettas and future just resistance.
Well, Arabs are famous for doing that, Will. And not just 1400 years ago. It happened in Iraq quite recently, and Lebanon too. I bet if I looked into it I could find even more examples. Are you suggesting that Arabs deserve to be murdered?
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 9:20 pmSurely, you do not expect the Palestinians to accept their displacement?!?
I expect Palestinians to either seek and accept a peace agreement, or to stop claiming they want peace. Is that too much to ask, considering i am being called on to be a referee? If you want war, then have it. No skin off my nose. Just stop asking me to intervene on your behalf. And stop insulting my intelligence by claiming you want a peaceful solution.
Posted by programmer craig | June 9, 2009, 9:23 pmHello . . . my name is Programmer Craig and my dad could have used one of those Israeli condoms and would have saved you from dealing with my shit! My mom told me to get him some while I was over there, but I failed at yet another small thing.
Posted by Programmer Craig | June 10, 2009, 2:06 am# The security fence would not have been needed had there been no terrorism against innocent Israelis.
# The fence is not a border. The border will be determined by negotiations.
# The terrorists target their victims for death. Death is irreversible.
Inconveniences caused by the fence are reversible.
# The right to live free from terrorism must take precedence.
# A legitimate temporary security measure, the fence will help to end terror and restore calm – steps that are necessary for renewing the peace process.
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 10, 2009, 1:37 amZOA Handbook? HA
Posted by Morton Klein | June 10, 2009, 2:24 amEaglebooger.
Your talking points make no sense whatsoever.
Blaming the occupation on the resistance to is is completely illogical. That's like saying Israel was right to dispel the Palestinians because they did not accept being taken over by them.
We know the fence is not a border. Israel has no internationally recognized borders. The border might be determined by negotiations.
Israel targets its victims for death and oppression. And has caused far more death, making it a far bigger terrorist.
"The right to live free from terrorism must take precedence." Since Israel is the number propagator of terrorism, this applies more urgently to Palestinians than to Israelis, who live relatively terror-free lives.
The apartheid wall has failed to make the lives more peaceful for anyone, and has not restored calm. In fact it angered Palestinians more! Why? it was built on Palestinian land, representing in itself a LAND GRAB. Your talking points miss that central point.
Visit the place if you don't believe me. You might learn a little.
Posted by KABOBfestWill | June 10, 2009, 3:52 pmBlaming the occupation on the resistance to is is completely illogical.
These places are occupied ultimately because of Arab attacks against Israel, which began in 1948. War may have been given up after the bloody hell of the 1973 Yom Kippur War, but the terrorism was never given up. You know this.
The Palestinians already have an independent territory with not an Israeli settler or soldier living on it. It's called Gaza. And what is it? A terror base, Islamist in nature, Iranian-allied, militant and aggressive, that has fired more than 10,000 rockets and mortar rounds at Israeli civilians.
Israel targets its victims for death and oppression.
Israel targets its enemies. The militant Islamist terrorists target civilians. You know this.
The Palestinians — going back to the U.N. partition resolution of 1947 — have never accepted the idea of living side by side with a Jewish state. Those like Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, who might want to entertain such a solution, have no authority to do it. And those like Hamas's Meshal, who have authority, have no intention of ever doing it.
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 11, 2009, 8:16 pmFirst of all, if you want to stop terrorism, then stop terrorizing!
Second of all, you really think the wall has been effective? How!?
"Well, because it stops Suicide Bombers from getting in!"
Horseshit! Palestinians could make bombs within Israel if they wanted to, but they chose not to, because Israelis practice Nazi war tactics: kill one of us, we kill 100 of them.
As for your fence/border point, I'll give you that one, only because as of RIGHT NOW now it's not the border, but in a few years you'll find yourself eating your own words on that. Mark it, eagledick! Israel's finals borders are going to be along the wall. You really think Israel is going to uproot thousands of feet of wall just because the Palestinians want a state along the 1967 Green line? Not gonna happen, dude, because of YOUR greed and land lust in taking our land under the pretense of "Security."
You and most Israelis are living in a dream world. It's funny, because one day you're gonna wake up and realize that the nightmare wasn't the one you were dreaming about, but the one you wake up to. But it seems like you've already woken up and realized that, so now you want to continue dreaming that we're the innocent victims who never do wrong, a poor defenseless people who needs guns and tanks and planes and nukes waa waa waa!
It's just sad you actually believe what you just wrote . . . what an illusion
Posted by Samir Abuznaid | June 10, 2009, 8:15 pmThe Palestinians are not going to get a state along 1967 borders. Why should they?
No Israeli government would turn down a two-state solution in which the Palestinians accepted territorial compromise and genuine peace with a Jewish state. (And any government that did would be voted out in a day.) Netanyahu's own defense minister, Ehud Barak, offered precisely such a deal in 2000. He even offered to divide Jerusalem and expel every Jew from every settlement remaining in the new Palestine.
The Palestinian response (for those who have forgotten) was: No. And no counteroffer. Instead, nine weeks later, Arafat unleashed a savage terror war that killed 1,000 Israelis.
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 11, 2009, 8:19 pmCheck your facts son!
How could Barak offer up half of Jerusalem when the Knesset made the entirety of Jerusalem the "united and undivided capital of the Jewish people" upon capturing the East side and the old city in '67. Your talking points are devoid of any historical fact and logic. If you are a Israel, I feel bad for you, not knowing your own history or your modern politics.
And for your information, Arafat didn't unleash "a savage terror" as you called it. True, he didn't and couldn't do anything to stop them, but that's exactly why Israel quickly jumped to start negotiations with a politically bankrupt figure like Arafat right before Olso, bankrupt because of his backing Saddam's invasion of Kuwait.
And as for you semi-allusion to Israel's pull out of Gaza: Yes, Israel abandoned it's settlements in Gaza in 2005, but it maintained strict control over its borders, its airspace and it's territorial waters. Israel left its settlements, but it never left Gaza. Why do you think there's such resistance? If you lived like that, you too would do whatever it too to break Israel's choke hold on the tiny strip.
You really need to read more and know what the hell you're talking about.
Posted by Samir Abuznaid | June 12, 2009, 1:47 amArafat did unleash a savage terror war. lol @ "he couldn't do anything to stop it". Do you think people are stupid? You are trying to hint, without saying it, that Arafat was completely innocent of that.
"Yasser Arafat, who has led the Palestinian national movement since the late 1960s and, by virtue of the Oslo accords, governed the cities of the West Bank (Hebron, Bethlehem, Ramallah, Nablus, Jenin, Tulkarm and Qalqilya) and their environs, and the bulk of the Gaza Strip. Arafat is the symbol of the movement, accurately reflecting his people's miseries and collective aspirations. Unfortunately, he has proven himself a worthy successor to Haj Muhammad Amin al Husseini, the mufti of Jerusalem, who led the Palestinians during the 1930s into their (abortive) rebellion against the British mandate government and during the 1940s into their (again abortive) attempt to prevent the emergence of the Jewish state in 1948, resulting in their catastrophic defeat and the creation of the Palestinian refugee problem. Husseini had been implacable and incompetent (a dangerous mix) – but also a trickster and liar. Nobody had trusted him, neither his Arab colleagues nor the British nor the Zionists. Above all, Husseini had embodied rejectionism – a rejection of any compromise with the Zionist movement. He had rejected two international proposals to partition the country into Jewish and Arab polities, by the British Peel commission in 1937 and by the UN general assembly in November 1947. In between, he spent the war years (1941-45) in Berlin, working for the Nazi foreign ministry and recruiting Bosnian Muslims for the Wehrmacht.
Abba Eban, Israel's legendary foreign minister, once quipped that the Palestinians had never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. But no one can fault them for consistency. After Husseini came Arafat, another implacable nationalist and inveterate liar, trusted by no Arab, Israeli or American leader (though there appear to be many Europeans who are taken in). In 1978-79, he failed to join the Israeli-Egyptian Camp David framework, which might have led to Palestinian statehood a decade ago. In 2000, turning his back on the Oslo process, Arafat rejected yet another historic compromise, that offered by Barak at Camp David in July and subsequently improved upon in President Bill Clinton's proposals (endorsed by Barak) in December. Instead, the Palestinians, in September, resorted to arms and launched a mini-war or intifada, which has lead to a deepening of hatred on both sides to the point that the idea of a territorial-political compromise seems to be a pipe dream. "
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 13, 2009, 5:26 pmNo, I'm not saying at all he was innocent. Did you even bother to READ any of what I wrote? He couldn't police the other factions and that's why the Israelis marked him to be the "man in charge": a "leader" under Israel's complete control with no real political power and real moral authority.
I like how instead of coming up with your own points and words, you copy and paste something from some website or some book, failing first of all to give credit to whoever wrote it and not really saying anything of your own words and thinking.
If you want to play that game, you can. But it just shows me and whoever else reads this how unoriginal and incredibly WEAK your own arguments really are.
Again, get educated, analyze what you've read, learn the history of the actual events and then present them in your own words. You see, when you rely on wiki or Encyclopedia Eagle-has-no-idea-what-the-hell-he's-talking-about-tanica, it just further tells me that you have no real leg to stand on and that's the difference between you and me
Posted by Samir Abuznaid | June 15, 2009, 2:10 amAgain, Will – The security fence would not have been needed had there been no terrorism against innocent Israelis… and all you can say is "Blaming the occupation on the resistance to is is completely illogical."
Again, inconveniences caused by the fence are reversible. You seem to have difficulty comprehending that simple idea.
Your grade-school logic is amusing: "I you are, but what am i" "The right to live free from terrorism must take precedence." Since Israel is the number propagator of terrorism, this applies more urgently to Palestinians than to Israelis,
No Will, the terrorists are the Islamists who attack civilians and foam at the mouth when they talk about destroying Israel. You know this, but obviously its hard for you to acknowledge the truth.
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 11, 2009, 9:40 pmThat's true Will. Only the Islamists can be terrorists. Zionists who kill Palestinians and advocate nuking Gaza only get elected to the Knesset.
Posted by MohammadKF | June 11, 2009, 11:04 pmI guess It's not terrorism when Israelis do it . . . it's just self defense.
You know, before, I was a one state guy, but now I'm leaning towards a two state guy, because then Palestine can fight Israel without it being label Terrorism, but self-defense. That's exactly why Netayahu DOESN'T want a Palestinian state. It's like Marriage: so many rights come with the package and with statehood, it's no longer terrorism, but self-defense.
Thanks for the political and dictionary lesson, Eagledick
Posted by Samir Abuznaid | June 12, 2009, 2:53 pmMaybe the Palestinians can learn to live in peace, and give up this idea of destroying Israel – which they have failed at repeatedly since 1948.
Posted by eagle007blogger | June 13, 2009, 4:40 pmCan you stop saying the same crap over an over again. Poll after poll has showed that the Palestinians don't want to destroy Israel, most never have.
The one's that do resort to fighting Israel or blowing themselves up, do it out of desperation at the situation they're put in.
The ironic thing is, you're probably a person who sees the fighters in the American War of Independence as heroes but fail to recognise the parallels.
Posted by Shafiq | June 13, 2009, 8:51 pmIt's also funny how you fail to address the point made by either Mohammed and Samir. Is it only terrorism when Muslims do it?
Posted by Shafiq | June 13, 2009, 8:52 pmYou're the guys stealing our land, breaking down the gates of our homes, burning our fields, taking over our houses, bulldozing our buildings, blocking our roads, killing our kids, denying our human rights, taking up most of the land's water, uprooting our olive trees, exploiting our people to build your settlements, building illegal homes, destroying our schools, assigning labels and definitions, burning our books, gassing our protests, shooting our farmers, dehumanizing our people, choking our livelihood, massacring our unarmed civilians, justifying your actions and lying to the world and to your own selves! And you want us to believe that you are the ones who want peace?
You really think we don't want peace??? What kind of warped world are you living in?
I guess you must be living in Israel, because only Israelis want peace after doing all that to another group of people.
Posted by Samir Abuznaid | June 15, 2009, 6:55 pmjYKvqi comment4 ,
Posted by Gpfpzgth | June 25, 2009, 8:53 am