Barack Obama’s speech today in Cairo was meant to establish a new relationship between the United States and the Arab world. To the extent that shifting American foreign policy is possible, it is not clear Obama will achieve this grand goal.

Actually there were no grand transformations envisioned, just steps and stages proposed since “change cannot happen overnight,” but even those did not strike me as achievable (maybe except for the polio project with the Organization of the Islamic Conference).

Reading his speech reminds me of the old Clinton trick of triangulation. In short, he says a little something for everyone in the effort to win over as many people as possible. He knows Arab views well enough to know where he can win points — platitudes on Islamic contributions to the world, mentioning colonialism and past nefarious acts (like overthrowing Mossadegh in Iran), and actually giving Palestinian suffering its own paragraph.

However, he reaffirms America’s commitment to Israel as “unbreakable,” doesn’t suggest he will be pushing Arab allies to treat their own citizens much better, and still uses mindless sanitized language such as “tensions” and “clash” to describe military occupations and other actually imperialistic, oppressive policies.

He was so Clintonite, he even admitted that words aren’t enough, that only actions will speak. Yet, words will ultimately be deployed to spin, sell and obscure those actions. So far, the change he is selling is underwhelming, which makes me think the actual change will be minimal, if not in the wrong direction (as in the case of a fraudulent Palestinian “state”).

His Clintonite strategy did not even save the incongruous moments from shining. Nor did it hide what came across as preaching based precisely on what he himself condemned — stereotypes. Thus, he lectured Arabs on embracing modernity (how 1990 is that!), on not hating Jews or denying the holocaust, and accepting Al-Qaeda’s accountability for 9-11. He probably changed few minds with these and quite frankly sounded like the ignorant American — even if he had some impressive insights elsewhere in the speech.

While opinion polls may back the need for the latter two issues, the Jewish genocide and September 11, 2001, these are not problems of a lack of historical knowledge. These events have been politically exploited in ways that cause their victims and their brethren to cast doubt onto the historical telling of them. Obama did not do anyone any favors by further politicizing them.

Instead, he should have said, you can oppose Israel without having to deny the Jewish holocaust took place. You can oppose American actions as unjust while still condemning American invasions. The problem is Zionism predated Nazism, yet used Nazism to justify its mission. And American imperialism in the Middle East predated September 11, 2001, yet was used to justify two invasions. So people will naturally assume conspiracies exist or that the historical telling, which is evoked in the name of other crimes, is biased. The real problem is that America and Israel thinks that if people accepted September 11 and the Nazi holocaust against the Jews that it would change their views of the United States and Israel.

Arabs — and all the other historical revisionists (many of whom are whites in the US and Europe) — should get their heads out of their asses and just see Hitler’s victims who became Zionists, and Americans who suffered in 2001 but backed Bush, as rank hypocrites.

Anyways, this is just some of what I found objectionable and positive (mostly the former). I offer a very lengthy retort to lines of Obama’s speech, ranging from angry to humorous responses. I warn this is long.

• “I am honored to be in the timeless city of Cairo…” Is it “timeless” because Mubarak has been in power forever, or is just one of those Orientalist tropes his speechwriter read in some Bernard Lewis book or Egyptian tourism pamphlet?
• “I am grateful for your hospitality, and the hospitality of the people of Egypt.” Source: Army Field Manual or Raphael Patai’s ‘The Arab Mind.’

• “assalaamu alaykum.” Thanks for sending the Jihadists the secret code… and they were analyzing Osama’s recording.
• “tension rooted in historical forces that go beyond any current policy debate.”  Um, the occupations of Iraq, Afghanistan and Palestine are very, very current. I guess that damn “history” is easier to blame.

• “colonialism” Yay, he said the c-word, albeit without expanding or getting into messy specifics.

• “modernity and globalization led many Muslims to view the West as hostile to the traditions of Islam.”  Hate to burst your Bernard Lewis/Sam Huntington bubble, but Muslims have no problems with Pepsi and “modernity.” They just do not like to see their co-religionists getting bombed, occupied and gunned down.

• “America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles — principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.”  Obama dropping meaningless and overbroad feel-good platitudes on dat’ ass in the 09′, son!

• “I do so recognizing that change cannot happen overnight.”  Campaign promise broken!

• “No single speech can eradicate years of mistrust, nor can I answer in the time that I have all the complex questions that brought us to this point.”  Or any one of them.

• “we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors.”  For example, to pro-Israeli lobbyists.

• “As the Holy Koran tells us, ‘Be conscious of God and speak always the truth.’”  Obligatory Koran quote #1.

• “Part of this conviction is rooted in my own experience. I am a Christian, but my father came from a Kenyan family that includes generations of Muslims. As a boy, I spent several years in Indonesia and heard the call of the azaan at the break of dawn and the fall of dusk. As a young man, I worked in Chicago communities where many found dignity and peace in their Muslim faith.”  Give the man is Ghetto Muslim Pass already!

• “As a student of history, I also know civilization’s debt to Islam.”  And I’m here to collect bitches.

• “It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing; our understanding of how disease spreads and how it can be healed. Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation.”  Wow, so my Amo wasn’t bullshitting me all those years of mentioning this every time we got together.  Do “places of peaceful contemplation” include Guantanemo Bay?

• “In signing the Treaty of Tripoli in 1796, our second President John Adams wrote, ‘The United States has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Muslims.’”  Selective quoting. Adams’ next sentence was “my friends informed me some of the most diligent slaves were Muslim.” [tarboush tip: Lucy]

• “They have fought in our wars, served in government, stood for civil rights, started businesses, taught at our Universities, excelled in our sports arenas, won Nobel Prizes, built our tallest building, and lit the Olympic Torch.”  How many Muhammad Ali references can you fit in one sentence?

• “when the first Muslim-American was recently elected to Congress, he took the oath to defend our Constitution using the same Holy Koran that one of our Founding Fathers — Thomas Jefferson — kept in his personal library.”…right next to the slave quarters.

• “I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.”  So will he close the Department of Homeland Security and ban Fox News?

• “The dream of opportunity for all people has not come true for everyone in America, but its promise exists for all who come to our shores — that includes nearly seven million American Muslims in our country today who enjoy incomes and education that are higher than average.”  Which is only part of the reason their neighbors think racially profiling and discriminating against them is okay.”

• “That is why there is a mosque in every state of our union, and over 1,200 mosques within our borders.”  Source: classified FBI report.

• “When a new flu infects one human being, all are at risk.”  That is why I proudly applaud President Mubarak’s thoughtful decision to slaughter all the pigs in Egypt.

• “And when innocents in Bosnia and Darfur are slaughtered, that is a stain on our collective conscience.”  But when it is in Gaza, Waziristan, or Baghdad, it is “collateral damage.”

• “we reject the same thing that people of all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children”  Unless they are “collateral damage.”

• “Make no mistake: we do not want to keep our troops in Afghanistan. We seek no military bases there.”  Unlike Iraq. SureAfghanistan was a “war of necessity” and Iraq a “war of choice,” but that has nothing to do with where want military bases and troops/contractors stationed in perpetuity.

• “The Holy Koran teaches that whoever kills an innocent, it is as if he has killed all mankind; and whoever saves a person, it is as if he has saved all mankind.”  Second obligatory Koran reference.

• “we can recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, who said: ‘I hope that our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power the greater it will be.’”  Source: “Ruminations on Slave Discipline” Lecture at Mount Vernon Estate, November 23, 1794.

• “Today, America has a dual responsibility: to help Iraq forge a better future -– and to leave Iraq to Iraqis.”  Plus a hundred thousand American soldiers and contractors.

• “I have made it clear to the Iraqi people that we pursue no bases, and no claim on their territory or resources.”  We may leave a few bases, but we won’t “pursue” any. And we have no claim on any resources, except oil.

• “I have unequivocally prohibited the use of torture by the United States, and I have ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed by early next year.”  Our torture and imprisonment activities have been outsourced to our moderate friends on the region. Thanks Hosni!

• “The sooner the extremists are isolated and unwelcome in Muslim communities, the sooner we will all be safer.”  So stop letting FBI and military recruiters set up booths at your conventions and events!

• “The second major source of tension that we need to discuss is the situation between Israelis, Palestinians and the Arab world.”  Military occupation, active colonization and structural discrimination makes me feel tense.

• “America’s strong bonds with Israel are well known. This bond is unbreakable. It is based upon cultural and historical ties, and the recognition that the aspiration for a Jewish homeland is rooted in a tragic history that cannot be denied.”  Yeah, Al Nakba. But seriously, did you really think this speech would not have a major F.U. moment?

• “Around the world, the Jewish people were persecuted for centuries, and anti-Semitism in Europe culminated in an unprecedented Holocaust. Tomorrow, I will visit Buchenwald, which was part of a network of camps where Jews were enslaved, tortured, shot and gassed to death by the Third Reich. Six million Jews were killed — more than the entire Jewish population of Israel today. Denying that fact is baseless, ignorant, and hateful. Threatening Israel with destruction — or repeating vile stereotypes about Jews — is deeply wrong, and only serves to evoke in the minds of Israelis this most painful of memories while preventing the peace that the people of this region deserve.”  So the 6 million Palestinian refugees should shut the hell up and be thankful! But seriously folks, you should really recognize Israel’s right to exist after this moving plea.

• “On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people —Muslims and Christians — have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than sixty years they have endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza, and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations — large and small — that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: the situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity, and a state of their own.”  So he thinks he can root for both sides. Ha ha. I am impressed he actually said “refugees” and “occupation.”

• “But if we see this conflict only from one side or the other, then we will be blind to the truth: the only resolution is for the aspirations of both sides to be met through two states, where Israelis and Palestinians each live in peace and security.”  Because occupier and occupied, displacer and displaced are equal sides, and only by pleasing both sides will we reach the truth! Who cares if that means the usurper keeps what is not righfully his! Justice can kiss my ass.

• “Palestinians must abandon violence. Resistance through violence and killing is wrong and does not succeed.”  Where is the “non-violence” lecture for Israel?

• “For centuries, black people in America suffered the lash of the whip as slaves and the humiliation of segregation.”  Now they only suffer the highest rates of incarceration in the world and in many places, destitute poverty. You’ve come a long way, baby!

• “It is a sign of neither courage nor power to shoot rockets at sleeping children, or to blow up old women on a bus. That is not how moral authority is claimed; that is how it is surrendered.”  So Israel gave up its moral authority ages ago.

• “At the same time, Israelis must acknowledge that just as Israel’s right to exist cannot be denied, neither can Palestine’s.”  Wow. It’s such a “duh” statement, yet it’s the first time I ever heard a U.S. official say something this strong. Seriously. However, it is clearly part of the two-state rhetorical strategy, and it will fail. The Zionism of Israel cannot possibly tolerate a meaningful Palestinian state.  Even if the PA signs on to a meaningless one, it will fail.

• “In the middle of the Cold War, the United States played a role in the overthrow of a democratically-elected Iranian government.”  Another wow. Acknowledging that is a huge. I just wish there were specifics, plus one cannot get too much hope from such frank admissions. It’s an old politician’s trick After all, in Rice’s 2005 speech she admitted the US supported dictators for the sake of stability, yet the stayed the course with that.

• “The question, now, is not what Iran is against, but rather what future it wants to build.”  A future where it can defend itself against nuclear aggression, perhaps.

• “I understand those who protest that some countries have weapons that others do not.”  Implied Israel references rock.

• “That is why I strongly reaffirmed America’s commitment to seek a world in which no nations hold nuclear weapons.”And when Israel sees us act decisive against Iran’s program, they will admit their arsenal officially and then voluntarily destroy them.

• “So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other. “  Unless that nation in the Palestinian territory of the West Bank, maybe Gaza, and perhaps some sliver of East Jerusalem.

• “America does not presume to know what is best for everyone, just as we would not presume to pick the outcome of a peaceful election.”  By “pick,” I mean predict, not impact.

• “But I do have an unyielding belief that all people yearn for certain things: the ability to speak your mind and have a say in how you are governed; confidence in the rule of law and the equal administration of justice; government that is transparent and doesn’t steal from the people; the freedom to live as you choose.”  Except for Arabs, especially those of Palestinian, Iraqi, Saudi, Jordanian, Kuwaiti, and Egyptian origin.

• “This last point is important because there are some who advocate for democracy only when they are out of power; once in power, they are ruthless in suppressing the rights of others.”  For example, Republicans.

• “No matter where it takes hold, government of the people and by the people sets a single standard for all who hold power: you must maintain your power through consent, not coercion; you must respect the rights of minorities, and participate with a spirit of tolerance and compromise; you must place the interests of your people and the legitimate workings of the political process above your party. Without these ingredients, elections alone do not make true democracy.”  And this applies to all, except for the Jewish state, which gets to be a state for one people and a democracy. It’s the exception to the rule, I guess.

• “Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance. We see it in the history of Andalusia and Cordoba during the Inquisition.”  Backhand slap at Catholicism!

• “The richness of religious diversity must be upheld — whether it is for Maronites in Lebanon or the Copts in Egypt.”  The Maronites of Lebanon are so oppressed by their country’s constitution and consociationalist system, which is based on a census that far exaggerates their numbers. Maybe, they should respect their country’s religious diversity.I’m glad he mtnioned Copts though. Word up.

• “For instance, in the United States, rules on charitable giving have made it harder for Muslims to fulfill their religious obligation. That is why I am committed to working with American Muslims to ensure that they can fulfill zakat.”  A nice way of saying we imprison Muslim fundraisers. And “zakat” counts as the third obligatory Koran reference.

• “Likewise, it is important for Western countries to avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion as they see fit — for instance, by dictating what clothes a Muslim woman should wear.”  Suck on that, Sarkozy!

• “Indeed, faith should bring us together. That is why we are forging service projects in America that bring together Christians, Muslims, and Jews.”  The occupation of Iraq is one example. It brought together Christian politicians, soldiers and generals, Muslim subjects and collaborators, and Jewish Neocons and lobbyists.

• “I reject the view of some in the West that a woman who chooses to cover her hair is somehow less equal…”  I knew he had a hijab fetish, despite his campaign’s anti-hijab tactics at his Michigan campaign speech (no wonder he was eager to call the removed Obama supporters).

• “In Turkey, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Indonesia, we have seen Muslim-majority countries elect a woman to lead. Meanwhile, the struggle for women’s equality continues in many aspects of American life, and in countries around the world.”  Thankfully, too, otherwise we’d have President Hillary Clinton, he must have thought.

• “Fear that because of modernity we will lose of control over our economic choices, our politics, and most importantly our identities — those things we most cherish about our communities, our families, our traditions, and our faith.”  Um, Arabs are not Luddites or Amish. Where is he getting this shit, seriously? Is it Benjamin Barber’s ‘Jihad vs. McWorld’?

• “In ancient times and in our times, Muslim communities have been at the forefront of innovation and education.”  Yeah, but more so in ancient times. Seriously.

• “This is important because no development strategy can be based only upon what comes out of the ground, nor can it be sustained while young people are out of work.”  Slaps Egypt and Saudi in one sentence.

• “Some are eager to stoke the flames of division, and to stand in the way of progress.”  Obligatory Dick Cheney reference #1.

• “Some suggest that it isn’t worth the effort — that we are fated to disagree, and civilizations are doomed to clash. Many more are simply skeptical that real change can occur.”No and Yes. “Clash” is part of the myth. Occupation, national resource exploitation and globalized police state activities are “clashing.”  They are oppressive, imperialistic violations against the rights of others in the world. And the failure to understand this is why I am “skeptical that real change can occur.”

• “But if we choose to be bound by the past, we will never move forward.”  We need to address the past in order to move forward. Get your head out of your ass. It’s common sense. There are serious grievances for historical crimes here, not just some technical disagreements on current matters. It is naive to think we can simply ignore the past, even more naive than it is to think that it cannot be addressed at all.  No one told the Jews after WWII to move one and forget the past, the past was resolved by compensation commissions, an short-sighted partition plan that gave the victims a chunk of another’s territory, and by museums all over the world. Getting over the past is a highly selective request.

• “There is also one rule that lies at the heart of every religion — that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us.”  Arabs, just in case you did not realize you were getting lectured to, there’s the golden rule for you. And no, that is not an invitation to Iraqis and Afghans to occupy the United States and bomb American weddings.

• “The Holy Koran tells us, ‘O mankind! We have created you male and a female; and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another.’”  Obligatory Koran reference #3.

• “The Talmud tells us: ‘The whole of the Torah is for the purpose of promoting peace.’”  Obligatory Talmud reference #1.

• “The Holy Bible tells us, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.’”  Obligatory Bible reference #1.

• “Now, that must be our work here on Earth.”  Obligatory Star Trek reference #1.

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: A Pick ‘N’ Choose Freedom of Speech
2. Zionism Must be Defended (or, Barack Obama’s AIPAC speech)
3. Getting Blitzed in Cairo
4. (Some) Anger in Cairo
5. Get Your 2008 Commemorative Iraq Jesus Coin