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Israel: Promoting Tourism Via Condoms

israeli-condom2According to Ynet, El-Al Airlines, the Tel Aviv Tourism Foundation and a consortium of Israeli hotels – working in coordination with Israel’s Ministry of Tourism – have sought to promote tourism to Israel by giving out free condoms that read: “Come and Visit Tel Aviv.” Those that were handed the condoms were also told, “Come to Tel Aviv and be satisfied.”

Quite frankly, I’m offended.

And it’s not just because Israel is slapping thousands of years of cultural and religious heritage in the face by promoting sex tourism, or because it’s challenging Dubai’s regional stronghold on that industry. It’s mostly because its slogans suck! (pun intended)

Seriously, comecum jokes are so early 90’s. They’re as old and dead as that’s what she said and eat me. As well as my personal favorite, your epidermis is showing.

As such, I decided to ask the ever-mature KABOBfest crew to chime in with their input on what Israel’s Ministry of Tourism should have had printed on its rubbers instead. This is what we CAME up with:

  1. “Israel: Fucking the Middle East since 1948” – Programmer Buydatti
  2. “Israel: We Love to Shoot Our White Phosphorous All Over Your Face” – Sana
  3. “SHALOM! My Hebrew National is TOTALLY kosher. OKAY?” – Chaim
  4. “Israel: We Never Pull Out” – Nawal
  5. “Israel: Just Because it’s an Arid Country Doesn’t Mean You Have to Dry Hump” – Nimr
  6. “Let’s Get Biblical, Baby!” – Jillian
  7. “Who Says Size Doesn’t Matter?” – Um Mazen
  8. “Live the Israeli Experience: Come from Abroad and Fuck the Natives” – Mohammad
  9. “A Condom with No Penis for a Penis With No Condom” – Will
  10. “Visit Tel Aviv and Come” – Fayyad
  11. “A Guaranteed Bon Vagina!” – May

Admittedly, these are only marginally funnier… well, with the exception of Fayyad’s, who apparently didn’t understand my gripe with original slogan. Oh well, at least Israel is promoting safe sex – which is fine by me. I wouldn’t want an illegitimate country spawning any more illegitimate citizens anyway.

Feel free to add your own slogan suggestions in the comments section…

Discussion

21 Responses to “Israel: Promoting Tourism Via Condoms”

  1. Haha I love no. 1, 2, and 4. You guys are so funny !

    Posted by iman | June 8, 2009, 10:33 pm
  2. HAHAHA@ Nimr!

    Well, I guess it makes sense since anybody who planned to have sex with the locals would need protection.

    Posted by Aisha | June 8, 2009, 10:44 pm
  3. The American Students for Israel at my campus used to pass these out…. I used one….

    Posted by Super Sayyin | June 8, 2009, 11:05 pm
  4. LMAO. Too freakin' funny!

    Here's my contribution to the cause:

    1). Prophylactics of the Elders of Zion
    2). Kosher Kondoms: Don't Bust a Zionut Without Them
    3). It's Not a Rubber, It's a Security Barrier.
    4). For When You Want to Get Jizzy with Izzy.

    If I order these, do you think they'd mind if I ask for a supply of "Zionist scumbags"? :)

    Posted by Sean2009 | June 9, 2009, 2:05 am
  5. Israeli boners for every loner!
    Israel screws the Palestinians more than Debbie Does Dallas!
    Israel: You're safe 99.7% of the time (Wisam)
    Israel: Free rubber for your zubber (Carlos)
    The Promised Land: Where you show your affection by covering your erection
    Israel: Where only Gentiles unwrap their gifts on Christmas (Carlos)
    For Israel's sake! Cover your snake!
    Jewish pigglies wrap their wigglies (Wisam)
    Israelis: Fighting "warts" since 1948 (Carlos)
    Israel: Stay Moral and Go Oral! (-J-)
    Israel: Because a nation of assholes could always use a few more dicks!
    Israel: Covering up the evidence of the rack attack (Carlos)
    Israeli girls are loose, but your sperm doesn't have to be!
    Israel: Wearing their hoodies to get the goodies! (Carlos)
    Israel: Even the "Fun Size" gets a wrapper! (Carlos)
    Israeli Condoms: For Promotional Use Only! Not for Individual Sale!
    Tel Aviv: Way to many Inglorious Bastards
    Israel: Stick it to a Chosen One!
    Israel: Because Militants aren't the only ones who do "Blow" jobs

    Posted by Hanitizer | June 9, 2009, 2:37 am
  6. looool
    i simply can't match those funny comments , but i gotta try anyway

    " free condoms … halleluya … "

    Posted by jim | June 9, 2009, 6:04 am
  7. Hahahaha…. wow…
    Best I can come up with for the moment:
    Zionex: Because a Weiz-mann knows the plague of incurable boils really Herzl

    Posted by Nth_Republic | June 9, 2009, 9:13 am
  8. use it to fight Zionism

    Posted by ME | June 9, 2009, 11:49 am
  9. “Israel: We Love to Shoot Our White Phosphorous All Over Your Face” – Sana
    “Israel: We Never Pull Out” – Nawal
    “A Condom with No Penis for a Penis With No Condom” – Will

    the best!!

    Posted by Lena | June 9, 2009, 10:49 pm
  10. Israel – the land with rubber borders
    IDF – New tactics with profylactlics
    Israel – Every rubber is a zionist less!

    Posted by Hampus Eckerman | June 11, 2009, 6:24 am
  11. zPf20N comment2 ,

    Posted by Tyohdcrm | June 29, 2009, 8:51 am
  12. Best I can come up with for the moment:

    Posted by Halong bay tours | January 5, 2015, 3:01 am

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