According to Ynet, El-Al Airlines, the Tel Aviv Tourism Foundation and a consortium of Israeli hotels – working in coordination with Israel’s Ministry of Tourism – have sought to promote tourism to Israel by giving out free condoms that read: “Come and Visit Tel Aviv.” Those that were handed the condoms were also told, “Come to Tel Aviv and be satisfied.”
Quite frankly, I’m offended.
And it’s not just because Israel is slapping thousands of years of cultural and religious heritage in the face by promoting sex tourism, or because it’s challenging Dubai’s regional stronghold on that industry. It’s mostly because its slogans suck! (pun intended)
Seriously, come – cum jokes are so early 90’s. They’re as old and dead as that’s what she said and eat me. As well as my personal favorite, your epidermis is showing.
As such, I decided to ask the ever-mature KABOBfest crew to chime in with their input on what Israel’s Ministry of Tourism should have had printed on its rubbers instead. This is what we CAME up with:
- “Israel: Fucking the Middle East since 1948” – Programmer Buydatti
- “Israel: We Love to Shoot Our White Phosphorous All Over Your Face” – Sana
- “SHALOM! My Hebrew National is TOTALLY kosher. OKAY?” – Chaim
- “Israel: We Never Pull Out” – Nawal
- “Israel: Just Because it’s an Arid Country Doesn’t Mean You Have to Dry Hump” – Nimr
- “Let’s Get Biblical, Baby!” – Jillian
- “Who Says Size Doesn’t Matter?” – Um Mazen
- “Live the Israeli Experience: Come from Abroad and Fuck the Natives” – Mohammad
- “A Condom with No Penis for a Penis With No Condom” – Will
- “Visit Tel Aviv and Come” – Fayyad
- “A Guaranteed Bon Vagina!” – May
Admittedly, these are only marginally funnier… well, with the exception of Fayyad’s, who apparently didn’t understand my gripe with original slogan. Oh well, at least Israel is promoting safe sex – which is fine by me. I wouldn’t want an illegitimate country spawning any more illegitimate citizens anyway.
Feel free to add your own slogan suggestions in the comments section…