As you have probably heard by now, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, is dead at the age of 50.
I always thought of him as one-part human, one-part entertainer extraordinaire and one-part walking testament to the excessive and cruel social-psychological trauma of our rampant and often masochistic celebrity-worshiping culture. Today, we definitely lost the human.
It may be inappropriate so soon, but I would like to share with you some of the posts we’ve had in the past about Michael Jackson.
Many of our jokes were cruel, juvenile and unkind. There is something about celebrities — especially in our celebrity-obsessed culture — that makes them seem larger than life, and thus fair game for our worst insults. This list is in that tradition, sadly and admittedly. Much of it seems less clever now, if it ever was. Perhaps he lived to entertain the critics as much of his fans, but in different ways.
I share this list keeping in mind that he was ultimately human and we all were probably fans at one point… and am today, again.
1. Yes, he was mocked incessantly, to the point of cliche, about his pedophilia. I fell victim to this theme’s overuse in a May 26th, 2005 post mocking our spectacle-driven media: “Earlier today, I was seduced by Michael Jackson at a Wendy’s near Neverland.” Not funny, I know.
2. A few months later, I suggested the King of Pop as a potential Supreme Court nominee:
Jacko — Since Michael Jackson has spent so much time in court, he knows as well as anyone what a judge does on the job. Judge Scalia could come by his place for a sleep over. Heck, he could be the new Bubbles.
3. On November 30th, 2005, as rumors circulated that Jackson converted to Islam, I wondered “if this means Jackson will perform for the insurgents in Iraq?” Clearly, he did not.
The post meandered to accusations of Jackson’s anti-Semitism. The best part of the post was a comment left by Master Splinter:
Do you remember that scene in Three Kings when that really pissed of Iraqi dude, Captain Said, tied Mark Wahlberg down to a chair and started pouring petroleum down his throat? Remember what he was saying?
Capt. Said: What is the problem with Michael Jackson?
Then Wahlberg was like, “What do you mean?” And Capt. Said somthing like, “You know King of Bob HEEEWHOO! What kind of society is so sick that it make a black man want to chob ub his face too look white?”
Perhaps Mr. Jackson took a liking to how he was used as a metaphor for the Americanization of other cultures…
4. More on Jackson’s quest for whiteness. Nabeel, a former KABOBer, wrote about the French face transplant surgery in late 2005. In the post, he linked that and Michael Jackson the most famous life-support cases in U.S. history:
It turns out that last year the very same team of French surgeons offered to transplant Terri Schiavo’s face over to Michael Jackson; fulfilling Jackson’s dream of becoming a white-woman, while also satisfying the Right to Lifer’s goal of saving Terri. Kudos to the French. They couldn’t figure out how to ‘transfer’ their ’superior’ French culture into Africa, but they can make Michael Jackson white.
Knowing Nabeel, this was likely as fictionalized as it was sick.
5. More on Jackson’s path to Islam. In a January 25th, 2006 post, Fadi called Jackson the “Sheikha” of Pop in response to a photo of Jackson wearing an abaya in his then-home, Bahrain. He became “a reclusive resident of the Gulf island country since being cleared of child molestation charges.”
6. Laith did not strive “to promote guilt by association,” but asked what “is a worse reflection on a country by an off-kilter American pop star?”
Michael Jackson’s move to Bahrain
or
Whitney Houston’s and Bobby Brown’s interest in Israel
7. Former KABOBer Nadeem pointed out that the King of Pop had ties to another Gulf country on December 28th, 2006:
Heavy tabloid readers may recognize Dubai as one of Michael Jackson’s favorite overseas homes. However, in addition to hosting the itinerant King of Pop, Dubai is also a major business hub in the Mideast, and is world famous for its massive real estate projects like the heavenly aesthetic Palm Islands.
8. In 2008, Kalash wrote “about the latest lawsuit facing Michael Jackson – a Bahraini prince paid him millions of dollars for an album and book that were never produced.” Kalash pointed out that Michael “changed his name to Mikaeel.”
9. The King of Lists, the Hanitizer, found an Arabic singer who out-weirds MJ. He wrote,
I found myself wondering if there is an Arabic singer who can compete with Michael Jackson’s bizarre behavior and spiritual flirtations. I found one.
Dolly Shahine, the half-Lebanese, half-Brazilian hybrid star, may be the closest.
10. The pop singer brought to Kalash’s mind a certain Arab leader. “I have mixed feelings about Muammar Qaddafi. There’s a certain quality about him that reminds me of Michael Jackson…”
11. When King Hamad bin Issa al-Khalifa of Bahrain “officially extended a warm invitation to any expartiate Bahraini Jew to return to the Arab kingdom,” I pondered if it is connected to their government’s falling out with Jacko:
Is it just a coincidence or did this new openness come at about the same time that the royal family had its falling out with previous Bahrain guest, Michael Jackson… Perhaps, they remembered Jackson’s famous lines, “Jew me, Sue me” and “Kick me, Kike me,” in his song, “They Don’t Care About Us.” They thought replacing Jacko with some Jews would be sweet revenge.
12. Most recently, in fact, just on Tuesday, The Hanitizer posted an image of MJ in his critique of the Arab fetish for whitening creams…
Related posts:
- King Of Bahrain: Jews Welcome to Return
- Face/Off?
- I think its a toss up?
- More Tricks From Jacko
- Looking for a Good Lawyer and Publicist
This is really a lovely way to honour Jackson.
Posted by pp2006 | June 26, 2009, 12:35 amRIP: Best entertainer of all time… he inspired generations to sing and dance… the undisputed king of pop. I grew up on this dude. My mama would throw us MJ dance parties when we were little. He gave me groove. I'll miss him. It's sad to see this chapter of music history close.
Posted by Programmer Buydatti | June 26, 2009, 2:01 amHey, have you seen this news article?
New details about Michael Jackson’s Death Emerge
I was wondering if you were going to blog about this…
Posted by Michael | June 25, 2009, 10:01 pmAmeen to Buydatti. Still cannot believe he's gone. Incomparable. Grew up listening to all his albums. Both my parents were massive fans. And he just brought such positive music. End of an amazing musical era.
I hope he can finally at least find some peace now; the sort he was never able to get amidst the constant bombardment and engulfing fame.
I also, however, like that all other news stories have fallen off the radar completely.
Posted by SanaKF | June 26, 2009, 9:25 amreally, you couldn't even go one day? one day to remembered a man who united black and white people like no other artist. one man who transcended borders with his creativity and passion. one man who revolutionized music. as a kid growing up in kuwait i knew his songs when i came to america at the age of 5 i found his music so comforting because it was something i could relate with the other kids. Everyone loved his music. Even my Palestinian middle age mother. despite all of his contributions to music you had to make even your "tribute" to michael about your cheap trite jokes. And let’s be honest here they aren’t even funny or witty-even in the right context. how self-centered and disrespectful. cant the man get the recognition he deserves for a lifetime of work?! the king of pop he truly was and there will no one else like him. Rest in Peace, Michael.
Posted by R.I.P Michael | June 26, 2009, 2:36 pmuhm he just apologized for making fun of him….
Posted by Super Sayyin | June 26, 2009, 4:38 pmuummm and then reposted all the jokes. let me translate into an analogy (which is of course by no means morally equivalent): if the losers who tortured the iraqis in abu-ghraib apologized by reposting/republicizing every picture they took posing with an iraqi prisoner. how can anyone take their apologize seriously? not that any apology can be used to assuage what they did…but you get the idea.
Posted by R.I.P Michael | June 26, 2009, 5:00 pmnot even on the same level. try again with a better analogy.
Posted by Reverse Cowgirl | June 26, 2009, 5:06 pmMicheal was really something else. He mastered his craft. May he rest in peace. It didn't really hit me until I heard his music…
Nice post. You make a good point. Too bad so many will miss it.
On another note, I feel like an asshole now for my last post about the man. Thanks!
Posted by Kalash | June 26, 2009, 5:19 pmAsshole!
Posted by Reverse Cowgirl | June 26, 2009, 7:37 pmI love Kabobfest. I really really do, but I have to say that the round up in this particular post really makes me mad. It just goes to show how mean and hateful we humans can really be to one another. How sad.
Posted by Samar | June 29, 2009, 9:57 pmMichael Jackson would still be remembered as the only King of Pop. We would surely miss him.
Posted by Caramoan Island Tour Resort | July 8, 2009, 10:54 amwe would surely miss the King of Pop. Michael Jackson is definitely a legend in the history of music.
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