25 Things I Hate about Arabs
This is not for the “I hate Arabs” Reader
If you are sitting on the floor, you cannot fall. But they cannot all be winners. There are many things to love about the Arab people; you will not find anything here to speak to that. Here is a list of things that I resent and my people happen to be associated with them. Those by no mean represent Arabs, but I hate it when my people exhibit one or more of those traits. I feel I must disclose that I am neither a Neo-Con nor a self hating Arab. Here is my laundry list:
1- Your Cousins! The fact that your countless cousins are always trying to copy your style, talk shi* on your mom and steal your thunder. Being instantly judgmental on the basis of very little observed fact. Boy, do not you hate it when your female cousins straight up stare at and evaluate other women.
2- The fact that we are ok with belly fat. C’mon, you know your grandma hates your skinny figure. I wish I had a dime every time I was told in Arabic “belly fat means prestige”
3- Yellow gold, White gold anyone? Many of my Arabs wrongfully subscribe to the axiom, if it is not yellow, it isn’t gold. The women I know in Gaza wear the same style yellow gold bracelets. While we are at it, deodorant, hair gel and cologne, more is less and less is more.
4- There is no Fu*king Privacy! Only dead people get that benefit. Trying to read a book or write something in an Arab country…good luck with that! And do not answer “how much money do you make?” question.
5-Not everything that has carbonation is called bebsi! Coca Cola founders are rolling in their graves for that one. It’s like calling your girlfriend the wrong name…Bebsi just like the American flag has Red, White and Blue, c’mon people get on with the program.
6- Arab men obsession with John Claude Van Damme and his so called action movies. You know JCVD does not even watch his own movies anymore…life is too short.
7- The Entire Career of Celine Dion, yes, she is married a Lebanese Canadian man, but that does not justify playing her heard goes on in every Arab wedding. Celine, I loved you when I was a FOB, but there is so much hate for you here in the States…you are a Canadian for crying out loud.
8- Slurpees, most Arabs come from warm areas, so coping with the hot weather is a given, it is not like AC are available in most places. While it’s true that many Indians run 7/11 stores, many Arabs however run the slurpee machine. Cooling off in a hot summer day is made easier by those sugar loaded slushies.
9- Nuetella…Not-at-all, the whole peanut economy is keeping the south together. Many Arabs in America do not appreciate that and chose to eat either Halawa—made of sesame seed or more often than not use the hazelnut infused chocolate spread as someone with allergies, I find myself out of options on spreads.
10- Vimto, a drink largely made in the United Kingdom, a blend of grapes, raspberries and blackcurrants. It comes in a large glass bottle, mix it with water and you got yourself an awesome summer beverage. The problem with it, it’s everywhere you go in the Middle East—like fast food chains in the Bible Belt. Some equate its taste with cheap knockoff cough medicine you buy at the discount shelf at Target. Not to also forget Tang, the instant mix made popular in the Arab world where it’s imported it and then rerouted to the States from the old country where it came from Europe. Americans do not get the Tang nor the Vimto craze that dominates the Middle East like their military.
11- Instant Coffee, Arabs might have given the world coffee, but that does not give them the right to also ruin it for the rest of us. Coffee should never be instant, Nescafe is not real coffee and you are a jerk for subscribing to that.
12- The News, Not only do Arabs and Arab world rule a major chunk of your news; we are also addicted to watching ourselves like one’s first YouTube video. Most Arab household classify news as entertainment where not even the latest (or best) Star Wars movie can compete with the various conflicts of the Arab land.
13- Paula Abdul, ok Arabs and Jews collaborated in the making of this TV persona. She comes from a Jewish Arab ancestry. While she might be the nice one on the set of American ideal, she still makes more gaffes, generate more erratic and bizarre behavior than a dozen of Hollywood wannabes.
14- Algebra, they had to invent this bugger and give us all headaches. Leave it to the Greeks, they could have used some bad PR, no one is bothering them for investing philosophy.
15- Ralph Nader’s seat belts.
16- The attitude in discussing anything as an expert, which means their version of a “conversation” is them delivering a monologue. Combined with the egoistic sensitivity. Being easily insulted and getting dramatic about it.
17- Using kleenex for everything that requires napkins or tissues. I am just done trying to explain the difference.
18- We think conspiracy theories explain everything political. No wonder Arab Americans make fine Libertarians.
19- We think anything Arab is the greatest, without realizing we borrowed it from another culture and that it is really not that much better than the equivalent elsewhere.
20- Preferring white skin over dark skin. Millions of dollars spent by Arabs on whitening lotions and creams. Incidentally, Americans are undoing their witness by using the tanning ones.
21- When men who neither daylight as butchers nor moonlight as Hannibal Lector smell like raw meat for some reason.
22- Our excellent memories and recall abilities. Arabs have great abilities to remember things; I think it has to do with being an oral people, rather than written word people. This might come from watching way too much TV and reading too little. A tip, never borrow money from an Arab.
23- Inherent conservatism, bitch!
24- Arabic Names Like Anas
25- This Guy
LMFAO @ #25
how about being stubborn as mules?
I don't know ANY Arabic person who likes instant coffee, and yes am proud of that!, we do have excellent memory and recall abilities, very lol Thanks
I don't know ANY Arabic person who likes instant
I do! I even know arabs who say "Nescafe" when they talk about coffee which confused the hell out of me, because I had no idea what that was. Once I looked it up on wikipedia I realized I'd seen some of that Nescafe crap in the grocery stores back in the 1970s and I figured it out.
Speaking of that, Tang was quite popular here in the US when I was a little kid. Mostly popular with moms who wanted something quick and easy that was supposedly a healthy drink for their kids. I think it's all about the Gatorade now.
Strange, but I find myself saying…Thank You Programmer Craig.
Nescafe nearly ruined my taste buds…………….one of the first things I would request whenever I left KSA was real, ground coffee.
You're kidding, Elena. Most bourgeois Moroccans I know will either drink coffee in a cafe or make Nescafe at home. Brewing coffee for themselves is apparently too strenuous.
i hate these posts and and lists about "how do you know if someone is arab", "what defines an arab", etc. They are usually written by Arabs who live in the United States and they are just stupid stereotypes that pretty much disappeared in the early nineties. They also usually apply to all cultures; not just Arabs. Please stop posting them, please stop writing them. They are not funny anymore. They are old and outdates. They're really not funny anymore
I am not saying that sattire and humor should be censored or disqualified, but it should at least have some kind of truth in it. And to all the Jordanians and Lebanese and Palestinians who went to American schools and International schools in their home countries, it is simply because they lived in a bubble in which they had no contact with the Arab world accept for these jokes.
You are the only ones who think it's funny or smart or wise humor in any way.
Thank you!
Thank You Lena, you are a great voice for the Kabobfest! We cnnot all like the same things.
ok just to clarify there are 2 lenas. im the tamer hosny lover lena that hasnt posted in a while and im not that rude haha
hani i like ur stuff and ur funny sometimes at least hahaha jk
I hope we have more than two Lenas reading the our blog. Cheers
Even though most of these are funny, but some are endearing qualities. Also, the preference towards yellow gold is more economic than esthetic. In case of future economic hardship the gold is usually a good investment to liquidate.
"I loved you when I was a FOB, but there is so much hate for you here in the States…you are a Canadian for crying out loud."
"16- The attitude in discussing anything as an expert, which means their version of a “conversation” is them delivering a monologue. Combined with the egoistic sensitivity. Being easily insulted and getting dramatic about it."
Once a fob always a fob.
Thank You Captin America!
I agree with Summer, many of these are endearing and affirming, and not at all reproducible in other cultures.
Uhm, this post sort of needs to be edited / re-read. There are a ton of grammatical errors and sentences that don't make sense.
That said, number 24 & 25 are the funniest things ever.
So it's really expensive to buy whole-bean coffee. If you visit coffee producing areas in Latin America for example, the majority of people who live there drink instant coffee. You would think is werid since they grow so much coffee there, but the truth is that no one can afford it.
The slave-workers who toil picking coffee, pick coffee for the relatively wealthy consumers. Up until Starbucks opened up a restaurant in Mexico recently, if you mapped out all of the places Starbucks got its coffee beans with all the places Starbucks has restaurants, none of them had anything to do with each other — with the exception of the US, and only because coffee grows in Hawaii. In other words, there were no chains in the places that grew the coffee, and no coffee growing in the places that had the chains.
But make no mistake, that Starbucks has finally opened in Mexico is not an indicator of equality, but of further inequality, which is no longer so clearly based on states today. Today, the first world exists in the third world, just like the third world exists in the first.
I know tons of people who can only afford instant coffee. My family, friends, and everyone I grew up around, for example. In the US. And there are many more.
I get ground coffee, which I brew, for a lower price than the instant. Sometimes I even find whole bean (which I have to grind) for a lower price than the instant… and I would like instant sometimes when I'm in a hurry, but it's more expensive! Plus brewed tastes better
And yet, in many places, beans are actually cheaper than Nescafe.
This blog doesn't deal with real issues anymore … how about what's happening to the Aqsa mosque, the suicide bombings in Iran, "israel" huffing and puffing for war, the succession issue in Egypt, societal issues in the Arab world excluding the 25 things I hate list which we've seen a million times here …. I remember there used to be meaningful discussions on this blog with some good posts a long time back but not anymore. The rate of posting by you Kabob-bloggers has also decreased significantly.
on the defense for hani, he's in gaza. cut the guy some slack. he is kind of in prison. it's like asking someone in jail to always talk about jail life or the horrors of the political inequalities.
i agree that the blog itself has been slow. maybe they are busy!!
Lena, I agree with the fact that we do not post much anymore….I do have a lot of serious posts…but I am afaird to get them out while I am in Gaza as my opinion is on the minority
"he is kind of in prison. it's like asking someone in jail to always talk about jail life or the horrors of the political inequalities. "
i hear that. without a solid movement either within our outside of the Middle East there's not much to report on except heart break. although, the current workers movement in Egypt has been a source of hope to me.
i like the mix of culture, humor and politics, but maybe the critique is maintaining a healthy balance between the three, and it's debatable about whether that's been done consistently.
p.s. i know this comment is hella old, but i'm currently thinking about these issues of culture, politics, organization, etc.
Unfortunately, the last few months have been extremely busy for all of us individually, but don't give up on us just yet. Hopefully we'll be able to make more time to write much more often soon.
lol how are not a fob anymore?
Mmm, Vimto! It's kind of like a non-fizzy Bebsi that leaves a red mustache on your face. Damn it; I better grab some Brawny Kilineks to clean it up!
Thanks! I would be happy to repost if if you send me your edits.
Ahahahahahaa! Love this!
I also especially hate it when people (my Irani tribe included) uses tissues instead of napkins. Tissues cannot get your hands clean–they just put little fuzzies all over!
So much of this was hilarious (except for #24 – WTF Hani, my boyfriend is an Anas!), and at the same time, I've totally picked up some of these "bad habits" from apparently spending too much time around Arabs. I never wore yellow gold until I saw some of the jewelry confections in Morocco, and the tissues-as-napkins habit wouldn't have occurred to me as an American.
You forgot one, though: Keeping a giant box of Kleenex on the dashboard of your car.
That's a bit much after admitting you relate to Arabs better than you relate to your fellow Americans, Jillian
Seriously, there's nothing wrong with admitting you imitate another culture because you prefer it to your own. Don't act like it just "happened" :p
My cousin's name is Anas, his name gave me the idea…the kids in Gaza now are laughing at him! Yes, the car dashboard! Sorry about your bf's name. Cheers!
i think ur stupid to hate who u really are! i love americans, their movies, their shows, but they dont.
they hate us , they think we're terrorists, im from Dubai btw,
i watch in their movies how they always show that we are the bad ones,
they make fun of us cuz we like to buy their products and their stuff,
(i knew that from my favorite TV show "Chuck") i wish that they stop and at least,
if they want to make fun of us, they should know how to put their names,
they think that indian names are similar to arabs' .
i remember when they named one "Raj" as a saudi arabian guy xD ..
i dont think we're the stupid ones cuz we know Christians and american ALOT more than they know about us..
actually, the know NOTHING, i dont think that they know what is their capital city is,
or how many states there are in the USA.
#16 is VEEERRRRRYYYY TRUUEE!!!!! especially here in lebanon.. they really think that they know everything……..
you are talking about an group from the arabic people…..
OMG that video is awful!
this is awesome i am a rich arab women in kuwait and i agree totally ! hehe… ; )
i know here we treat people from other countries like slaves and pay them very low wages !
I drive a red audi r8, i'm lovin it !
You meant to say rich old Arab woman who is bored to death has nothing to do but drive Audi R8…lol
Hilarious…Almost everything you said is true…Most Arab's I across are judgmental,sentimental…well lets just say every word which includes "Mental"…
you are calling only a few group of arabs, that exactly the same in all cultures, Dont Tell me all your culture people are that great !!
you're right . everyone is talking like all the arabs were born EVIL and you're elso talking about us using some really bad words and you're saying that we're judgmental .There's no such a thing as perfection not in our countries or yours there's the bed guys and there's elso the good. A lot of you, the moment they see us the first clue they get is that we're kind of terrorists and you're saying that we're the judgmental . And by the way , we ve'never made any silly comment about your names so stay the heck away from our's.