Ten Palestinian Crappy New Year’s Resolutions

By Will

With things looking worse than ever for Palestinians, I can only say “Crappy New Year.”

Still, what would the start of the new year on the Gregorian calendar be without new resolutions? Like the United Nations’ resolutions against Israel, the vast majority will go unenforced; but their proclamation has become a tradition of sorts. This list is of ten suggested resolutions for the Palestinian people.

We hereby resolve:

10. to stop consuming mindless Arabic and western pop music and entertainment programs, and bring back the quality resistance music and art of yesteryear.

9. to quit smoking (argeelah included) and to somehow increase Zionist smoking (argeelah included).

8. to boycott everything connected to Zionism in any way, shape or form.

7. to eat more zaatar, black seeds and olive oil.

6. to not be ashamed to admit Israelis have improved on falafel and hummous, but to boycott them anyways until there is historical justice.

5. to end the Fatah-Hamas divide, the Iran-Shia’-controlling-Hamas conspiracy, the glorification of either side, and the rank partisanship.

4. to record and document the stories of the Nakba survivors we know.

3. to stop blaming everything on “the yahood” and start blaming Zionists, Palestinian/Arab collaborators, the United States and Europe.

2. to stop waiting to be saved by Zionists, Palestinian/Arab collaborators, the United States/Obama and Europe.

1. to empower ourselves, get organized, and work towards a historically just end to Zionism within one political entity, rather than settle for what we are told is a practical solution in the form of two states (since Palestinian statehood next to Israel is pure, unobtainable fantasy). And this involves a smart strategy based on the historical experiences of other anti-colonial struggles (so also stop thinking the Palestinian experience is so exceptional in history).

Add your own in the comments section.

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18 Responses to “Ten Palestinian Crappy New Year’s Resolutions”

  1. Roz

    10,9, and 8 is pretty much impossible but the rest is all good

    #96903
  2. number 6- seriously? i have seen no empirical evidence suggesting that israelis made any improvements to our cuisine.

    #96905
  3. NJJ

    My mother says falafel sandwiches used to be made with tahini salad, fried cauliflower, and potatoes. The Israeli innovation is the use of pickles, but I don't see that as an improvement at all. The old-fashioned sandwich is far, far better (try it now, thank me later). The Israeli packaging of pretty decent ready-to-eat refrigerated hummus is a definite improvement over the old canned version, but no better than what one can make at home with the proper equipment.

    #96907
  4. RE: Number 4 http://www.nakba-archive.org/

    excellent project underway.

    #96916
  5. Hanitizer

    Bake Cookies and send them to Sedrot Just Simple Warm Chewy kind

    #96917
  6. In the new year, I promise my self I would not cry when tear gassed…

    #96920
  7. High time we get organized on points #1 and #2.

    #96965
  8. Lick Your Wounds

    Will, you're moving in the right dorection. Boycotting everything connected to Israel. I know you mean to publicly do that, like with boycott resolutions. Otherwise, it's like a tree falling in the forest, or one hand clapping.

    That really is the historical experiences of other anti-colonial struggles, most spectacularly South Africa.

    I can't wait to see the next boycott resolution in the university student governments. It will be a great relief, after years of… you know.

    #96969
  9. Boycott on campus

    "It is almost certain that new organizing around 'boycotts, divestment and sanctions' against the Israeli occupation… will take place"

    From today's article by Robert Naiman

    January 2, 2010
    The Huffington Post

    At:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-naiman/gaza-...

    "…It is almost certain that new organizing around "boycotts, divestment and sanctions" against the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza will take place in the United States as a result of the Gaza Freedom March.

    "There is a strong push from Palestinian solidarity activists in South Africa and Europe for American solidarity activists to do more to promote the 'BDS' campaign. There are plans for a delegation of Palestinian and South African trade unionists to tour the United States, and for student activists in the U.S. to train other student activists to launch BDS campaigns at universities."

    *************

    #96973
  10. 'to stop blaming everything on “the yahood” and start blaming Zionists, Palestinian/Arab collaborators, the United States and Europe.'

    LOL, I guess that's progress in the Arab world!

    Anybody know how many Starbucks are in Kuwait, KSA, UAE?
    http://iraqimojo.blogspot.com/2009/12/starbucks-i...

    #96974
  11. Boycott on campus

    It's not humorous for Americans, Israelis, and Eiuropeans to bomb the hell out the Arab world from the 1920's until today, overthrow their governments, install sadistic dictators– and then blame the Arab world for not having great governments.

    Boycott Israel until it no longer has the power to bomb the Arab world back to the Stone Age.

    #96985
  12. Ana Min Falastin

    Will your either dumb or a sellout but the usurping entity's falafal will never be better than Arab falafal.

    #97003
  13. Shahd

    "to stop blaming everything on “the yahood” and start blaming Zionists, Palestinian/Arab collaborators, the United States and Europe."
    Why is it ok to refer to the ethnicity of Palestinian/Arab collaborators but not ok to refer to the ethnicity of Zionists? And is terminology seriously the most pressing concern Palestinians have now? Would you preach to a Black slave to use "the slaveowners" instead of "Whites"?

    #97025
  14. #8 is tough but it can be done. In North America anyhow. I have had to do research on hair products, skin products, undergarments, etc etc and made the changes. It costs a bit more, but my spirit feels damn good when i write the manufacturer and say.. "today I did NOT buy… because… " I know there is something in my pc but I have had this thing for a long time, previous purchases do not apply to the boycott. If you buy local goods also, crafts, etc, you can go a long way towards avoiding Israeli made goods. Of course not using a cell or being into those dumb time consuming electronic gadgets probably helps too.

    As for the rest, Sounds good to me. I think another resolution… Learn how it was done by the ancestors because, like making houses of mud, and some of them very attractive, there might be a need for the wisdom of the elders again. And Palesine Remembered is a GREAT site for memories.

    #97088

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