Ray Hanania, a Palestinian-American comedian whose funny bone has yet to be verified, recently unveiled plans to adopt a number of jackasses housed in zoos across the nation. His goal is to unite them and form a lobby that is able to adequately represent their rights in the United States. His efforts are being supported by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF).
Hanania, the WWF-appointed spokesperson and mascot of the movement, stated: “Jackasses, like me, are a dying breed. All my life I’ve worked hard to become a world-class jackass, and now – after I’ve made it – we’re almost extinct. Worst of all, no one seems to care. Not even Al Gore is paying attention!”
He continued, “I won’t rest until I revive the species. I’m as passionate about being a jackass as Angelina Jolie is about adopting third-world babies!”
Carter Roberts, president of the WWF, explained his organization’s support of Hanania’s initiative: “We first approached Governor Rod Blagojevich since he’s a nationally recognized jackass. He declined, but referred us to Mr. Hanania, another Chicago native. After running a thorough background search on him, we decided Ray’s the best guy for the job.”
Still, not everyone is happy about Hanania’s appointment.
Injured Chicago Bears player Israel Idonije argued that Hanania’s allegiance should be to his ailing team – not jackasses. “This is a ludicrous idea from a very unfunny man,” said Idonije. “As a resident of Chicago, Ray should be more focused on helping the Bears improve our horrible team performance – not jackasses!”
Hanania, however, dismissed the criticism. “Look, I would love to help,” he said. “But I’d rather stick to things I know a lot about.”
[Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti]
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- Tareq Salahi and Ray Hanania Pose for Giggles
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- I guess you can’t control everything…
Hanitizer,
I understand the urge to mock the idiot but you are giving him more attention than he deserves. I read news, watch news, inhale news all day and this guy would not be on my radar at all if not for reading your posts about him on this site.
Posted by Ana min Falastin | January 14, 2010, 4:47 pmTrue as that may be, I kind of like the Hanania-bashing going on here. He's an idiot and, more or less, a Zionist who deserves to be called out on the asinine things that he says. These posts are funny, make a mockery of him and add diversity to other serious articles that other bloggers on the site post. I say keep up the great work. First Ray, next Irshad Manji and Hussein Ibish –> all uncle tom's.
Posted by Silent Reader | January 14, 2010, 8:47 pmWhat makes Irshad Manji an "uncle tom"? She isn't even Arab. Her "uncle-tom"ness is due to her being a Muslim? And Insane Rubbish counts as an Uncle Tom now, too? Well, he isn't doing a very good job of it because he pisses me the hell off. Do you just call everyone you don't like an "uncle tom" or something?
Posted by programmer craig | January 15, 2010, 8:39 pmSR,
You make a good argument. Let the Arab Zionist bashing continue. I like Norm Finklestein's characterization of Hanania best though. He put a link on his facebook to this Arab Zionist's last silly scribblings on Jerusalem Post under the heading "Israel legalizes Palestinian prostitution"
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Posted by Ana min Falastin | January 14, 2010, 9:52 pmI agree it's pretty funny for the most famous self-hating Jew in the world to make such an accusation
Posted by programmer craig | January 15, 2010, 8:40 pmif he disagrees with the policies of zionism it doesn't mean that he's a self-hating jew. you're just quick to put labels on anyone who speaks out..
Posted by hamamia | January 16, 2010, 6:02 amI don't think we should be giving these idiots additional coverage, but at the same time, this post brought a smile to my face. Ray Hanania is a douchebag.
Posted by Hanania's neighbor | January 15, 2010, 11:51 amI bet you all think your so funny well there's only one comedian here and its me. I'm charring you extremist twits left and right, http://kabobfestcharred.blogspot.com/2010/01/hana…
Posted by Ray Hanania | January 15, 2010, 5:44 pmyour attitude "me" and "only" tells me that you have missed your call to be another Arab dictator, the same ones you love to bash.
Posted by Hanitizer | January 15, 2010, 7:27 pmRay. You aren't funny. And this is me, your son. You are pathetic. You write for a blog that absolutely no one reads. I'm sorry dad, but no comments, none, for any of your silly blog posts. Now it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if any Palestinian said they were willing to sell out the Palestinian people, they could get a gig writing at the Jerusalem post. Your comedy is unfunny and awkwardly racist at times, and this is coming from family.
I urge all of you to join my dad's facebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?page=8&aid=…
Posted by Hanania's son | January 16, 2010, 12:03 amWhere are you charring them Ray, on a blog no one reads?
Ray you are hardly a comedian. I don't think someone could invent how unfunny you are. This has nothing to do with your offensive politics, but your stand up is bad. I mean bad.
Posted by Truth teller | January 15, 2010, 5:58 pmDoes anyone notice that my husband's awkwardly lame "replies" to Kabobfest never get any responses. My husband tries, but he's by no means a comedian.
Posted by Hanania's wife | January 15, 2010, 6:13 pmRay, first… I've read your nonsense about becoming Palestinian President – and it's embarrassing. Like a true politician you say things like "I would be willing to…" and "I would have…" as if it's all your land and there's no big deal with trading it away, legitimizing some settlements, etc…
But I also don't think you're funny man. So to give you the benefit of the doubt, I read your post (baffled by why you would post here on Kabobfest saying "I'm charring you extremist twits").
Do you realize how stupid you sound when you trivialize really serious issues and downplay them as people wanting Israel to disappear – or wanting to return to 1917 – or whatever BS you're pushing out there? Did I mention how much I appreciate your deep concern for Israel? I was really worried about how the French would feel if we countered the colonization of Algeria, the Afrikaaners if we countered apartheid too, or the British if we countered their massive colonial projects, so I hear you man!
Go try your stand up shtick marching against the wall in Bil'in, Ni'lin, or al-Masara and let me know how easy it is to do it while inhaling tear gas or being shot at with rubber bullets. I'll be honest, that might be funnier than anything you've written/said/done so far.
Posted by ItsJustNotFunny | January 15, 2010, 6:16 pmThe funny thing is, his posts (including the one bashing EI) over at palestinenote.com say that he's currently in Jerusalem.
It's the perfect opportunity for him to go to those villages and stand against the Apartheid wall. Will our most hilarious of Palestinian funnymen put his money where his mouth is, or will he continue to write about the "peace concessions" that Palestine must make?
Posted by jeers16 | January 15, 2010, 6:41 pmIn truth, Ray is based in suburban Chicago. However, his facebook account also states that he lives in "Jerusalem, Israel." What a whore…
Posted by WALE | January 15, 2010, 7:42 pmAmjad, he says Jerusalem, Israel?
What a whore indeed. I don't even think he would be able to garner support from the more relevant traitors, i.e, Dahlan and Co.
He's a silly man. But not silly in a funny way, silly in the type of way that makes one feel quite uncomfortable. But he won't be giving his obnoxious schtick up anytime soon, this is his meal ticket. Is he trained anything else?
Posted by Ana min Falastin | January 15, 2010, 11:17 pmI thought the link to Kabobfest Charred was a joke, similar to Kabobfest Watch. No idea that was his real blog. Sad.
Posted by Ana min Falastin | January 15, 2010, 11:19 pmray hanania bashing EI? just the mere attempt at doing so is hilarious.. what a dick… problem is all this brings him attention, unfortunately, as much as we love to make fun of his pathetic character in the end it's what he wants.. lets just all ignore him please!
Posted by hamamia | January 16, 2010, 6:06 am