His holiness, the fourteenth Dalai Lama risked the ire of Chinese Authorities when he came out explicitly in support of the Muslim Uyghur minority yesterday, Uighurs have fought for equal rights and autonomy in Western China.

“Let us not forget about dem Uighurs in East Turkestan… dey be resisting oppressions and shit.” He told a crowd of 3,000 in Dharamsala, the Indian town that has been his home for five decades.

“Mad props go to my boyz SinTian, MadSkillz, and Lythal Ryder, Dem homies are true motha fuckaz, we know they stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Said his holiness in reference to oppression by Chinese authorities and manipulation by external forces that seek to exploit the Uighur uprising for purposes of destabilization inside China.

Analysts predict that the CIA and US State Department directly fund the Uighur exiled groups in order to manipulate them to menace the Chinese government, especially as the latter showed resurgence during the global economic crisis that is far superior than any western economy.

“We know their cause is just, and they suffer from China like a mother fucker, but we know dem Uighurs are sometimes pushed around by da man.” He added towards the end of his speech, “yet they get no love from the man, CNN, NBC, FOX News and dem motha fuckaz can’t bring dem selves to support true Muslim Uighurs.”

KABOBfest’s China Bureau Chief, Chaim Sugarman, asked about the validity of the claims by China that the ethnic Turks have been violent in their uprising and call for equality, to which His Holiness responded: “Uighur please… if all da heat you be packing is some weak ass syringes that you be stealing from a methadone clinic, how deliberately violent your uprising be, shiiit.”

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