Arizona nabbed a couple of South-of-the-boarder troublemakers last week. They were apprehended by police near a Home Depot under Arizona’s tough, new immigration crackdown law which allows the police to arrest anyone thought to using less than aSPF30 sunscreen.

According to reports, the young man told police they were just going to buy building materials to construct a habitat for one of Arizona’s endangered species, specifically centrist Republicans. As police questioned the very brown skinned individuals the girl apparently blurted out, “We did it! We did it! We did it!” prompting a quick arrest. The police noted that a third person had been present, but quickly scampered off as police vehicles closed in. Said office Joe Blanca, “It was a monkey, but it had pretty light fur so not a big deal that it got away.”

It appears that Arizona is not done cracking down on unsavory characters. Upcoming legislation calls for many harsh, new changes and a number of groups police will be able to stop and detain on sight. These groups include;

• People with publicly exposed butt cracks not exempted for public perusal by a legitimate medical reason.
• Scandinavians with exceptional mechanical knowledge of Saab automobiles.
• Those with IQs between 70-79 which is considered “borderline” which has the word “border” in it. Tea Bag activist are gearing up to protest this move with thousands of signs that read, “79 is only 7 or 8 away from 80” and “IQ tests suk!”
• Without having to give a specific name or party, people who may have voted for the “dark skinned fellow” for President.
• Anyone caught eating only the top of a muffin or removing the crust from a grilled cheese sandwich. Residents under 12 are exempt.
• Those who in the past 12 months have expressed an interest in a fast food, convenience store or sandwich shop franchises.
• Anyone who does not have at least aVHScopy of the movie, “Red Dawn.”
• Those in possession of a gift card fromIKEAor Pier One Imports.
• Parents who had a piñata at their child’s last birthday filled with healthy snacks.
• Anyone with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 24 and/or an “inny” belly button.

Author Jon Waldrep writes about weight loss and anything else that makes him crazy on his blog, www.bigfatslobdiet.com