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6 Ways to Really Get an Arab Guy

Like, really.

As many of our ever-loyal readers know, the Hanitizer has established a set of popular and pretty damn accurate lists ranging from the disgustingly viral 13 Arab Guys You Should Never Date to 7 Girls Arab Guys Hit On. While the Hanitizer’s countless lists have rang far too true for many of our readers, I have often found that they targeted, more often than not, an Arab audience. And hey, that’s fine. That’s cool. Whatever. We’re the “irreverent Arab-American activist blog” you all know and love. But as one of a very extinct few resident non-Arab Kabobers, I thought it would help put together a helpful list for non-Arab Arabphiles – such as my unfortunate self and the vast majority of North Americans of Pakistani descent – that is far more easily relatable and understandable.

I hope this list can serve as a guide to all non-Arab Arabphile females in realizing how they can really attain that Arab they’ve had their eye on ever since they decided to completely despise their ethnic heritage, self-Arabize and vow to never marry a man even somewhat close to their geographic origins.

Small eyes. You're doing it wrong.

1. Look Arab. This drives Arab men crazy. You don’t really look like you’re from whatever country you arbitrarily find your roots..but you’re so totally from there ..but you so totally don’t look it. You look like you could be Arab. But you’re not. But you look Arab. What you really are, in fact, is a completely and utter mind-French-Connection-UK. He’s attracted to you physically because you give him a sort of ethnic-kin comfort and he’s further more attracted to you because you’re an exoticized and more socially-acceptable version of the lady who cleans his toilets back home. But his Um will be having none of you anyway.

Oh, and squint your eyes if you’re of South Asian/Persian descent. Big eyes – naturally and not through the help of Shaykh Mac al-Makeup- give it away immediately.

2. Speak Arabic. Arab guys love non-Arab girls speaking Arabic. We pronounce everything horrendously. It reminds them of


their kid cousins, which in turns fulfills the infantile-female narrative/my-culture-prevails narrative and you are instantly an object of momentary desire or at least interest. At the end of the day, however, he doesn’t want his kids speaking Arabic like a valley girl with a bad case of linguistic MS.

3. Know Arabic Culture. So, you’ve had the unfortunate circumstance of being birthed through a Persian unmentionable – that’s fine. You can make up for this by knowing various Arabic colloquial phrases, owning all the Fairouz albums on your iTunes, and know exactly the difference in Egyptian bellydance and dancing from the Khaleej (p.s. the Masris are totally all about the hands and the Khaleejis are about walking back and forth, whippin’ their hair, and generally having a smug face). But don’t spread yourself too thin – know a few key things about the generalized Arab culture, but remember to focus on one particular country. Lebanon’s a good one if you’re into living the good life, superficiality and men who look and sound pretty ..uh ..like this guy. Palestine’s also good if you’re into victimization, activist bandwagoning and socially-acceptable anti-Semitism. Regardless, he’s going to need someone who really gets the nuances. Even if he doesn’t. His seed must be cultivated to its full potential.

4. Be a White, Voluptuous Girl. Convert to Islam. And Just Maybe You’ll ‘Luck’ Out. That’s pretty much it.

Milk moustaches are okay AND suggestive!

5. Get Laser Hair Removal. Aunties will rub your arms up and down at parties to determine the hair-to-skin ratio and men will put in their marriage contracts that you must remain properly waxed, plucked, tweezed, shaven and threaded at all times, because God forbid a woman has hair anywhere other than the top of her head. But laser hair removal’s expensive and not permanent (get preggo’d and the hair’s back!) and there’s no guarantee it’ll work even after you’ve dished out a few thousand. So, either you’re genetically blessed, somehow escaping your ethnic gene pool’s hairy construct, or see number 4.

6. Be Arab. Sorry, but he can’t marry the construction worker’s daughter or a heathenous White whore. He’ll go out with you, flirt with you; shower you with gifts and make an abundant amount of amazing promises that you know in your little insecure mind and heart will never materialize (with, again, the slight possibility of number 4). Just remember that at the end of the day – seed’s gotta be pure and mama’s gotta approve.

In the words of the 4EVA-alive 2pac: I know you’re fed up ladies, but keep your heads up.

Just go for White guys. They’ll take whatever.

[tarboush tip: Hanitizer]

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122 Responses to “6 Ways to Really Get an Arab Guy”

  1. I have been with an arab man from Jordan for years now, we are waiting until I am done with college before we get married. I am of scandinavian decent, I have brown reddish hair and ice blue eyes, do not shave my arms, I do not speak arabic, but when I say a few words it melts his heart into butter and he thinks it's the cutest thing he ever heard. I will not convert to Islam (or become religious at all for that matter), we have not had sex so I have not been his "white whore", and his mother LOVES me. I find this article to be disgusting and pompous. Arab men can not be compartmentalized into this horrible/shallow homogeny, nor can their attractions. I did not seek out an arab guy, we just "happened". I did not fall for him because of his looks, his skin, his culture, his heritage, I fell for him because he is intelligent and he challenged me intellectually, because he was patient and kind and generous and because he never pressured me to be someone I wasn't or to do anything I didn't want to do. I fell for him because he has been the only man who made me feel safe to express my opinion and to stand behind it. Sometimes we argue long and loud but it always feels safe. We have changed each others opinion about some things but continue to value our differences. I didn't fall for him because he is Arab, I fell for him and he just happened to be Arab. If you think he might have accepted me because he is "low class", you are mistaken. He is a lawyer with his own business and convinced and encouraged me to go to college because he didn't want to marry a woman without a college degree.. not because of any of this bull written above. I would never want a man who is as shallow as the description above, Arab or not. Arab men reading this, I would feel offended if I were you unless of course you are only as deep as your shirt.

    Posted by unacceptable | December 8, 2013, 7:45 pm
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  5. Utter rubbish. Arab men want white, tall women who are thd absolute opposite of Arab women. Whoever wrote this article has no idea what they’re talking about.

    Posted by Sam | June 6, 2014, 8:04 am
  6. The authors of this website must have been shut down by Arab guys so bad lol

    Posted by non of your buisness | June 22, 2014, 11:26 pm
  7. i just wanna say we hate our girls cuz they are like us .. u know what i did mean ? they does not shave thier Mustache :@ , thier arms and more u nkow … thts why we like other girls from europe … i have a girl , so cute, made me happy :) ofcaurse she is not marroccan YEEEEES :) i love her… i cant tell all thing if tell i still writting 😀 (This summer we will meet INCHALLAH) ..

    Posted by MaroccanGuy | July 24, 2014, 8:55 am
  8. I believe your trying to be witty here in this article, I can’t really tell.There are a couple things Id like to note, you have made several racist comments towards white women that make us seem less desirable.Such as “heathenous white whore, just go for white guys they’ll take whatever”? Really, you sound like a hateful, racist person.Good luck in life I give you Duas.And yes Im a white, educated woman and arabic men LOVE me :) .

    Posted by ArabicMenLoveMe | July 28, 2014, 7:31 pm
  9. Rubbish i am with a arab and i am alight skin black women. Soo that bullshit that you havs to be white! Stupid

    Posted by l | August 12, 2014, 11:14 pm
  10. After being in relationship with emma for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

    Posted by elizabeth rosas | August 27, 2014, 5:28 pm
  11. 3ieb

    Posted by Nicole | September 6, 2014, 4:35 am
  12. oh bybe i m from tunisia in north africa it s so easy to get an arab guy cuz we love white girls and make sure that s we are very horny and hot in bed and i made a lot of tourist girls stasfeid
    and babe u can contact me 😉 my facebook is Ala Din (to pàc) i m 19 years old

    Posted by alé | September 8, 2014, 5:43 am
  13. Most of what is said here applies to Muslim Arabs.I'm a pasty white girl and my husband is a Lebanese Christian.All the stereotypes I heard about Arab men should have sent me running for the hills and I almost did when I first met him.But here I am 15 years later happily married to this man.My mother in law is very involved in our lives but she is a great person.Other than that,none of this other crap applies.

    Posted by Luggage transfer | October 20, 2014, 7:59 pm
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  15. despite what every 1 is sayin lm black African actualy and lam lookin for an Arabic man how can i date 1 or get married to one without becmn a mosilim

    Posted by erin | November 4, 2014, 9:16 am
  16. I’m so sorry, but this whole post is jut so racist and so not true. My Boyfriend is from Yemen and he is awesome and loves me just how i am. I do not speak Arabic, i do not look arabic and my skin color is not white. I am from honduras and barbados but born in America. My skin color is brown. Who ever wrote this clearly thinks its all about “arabic” females. Its about personality,appearance,your mind and the bond. Our love was at first sight. He didnt care that i wasnt Yemeni or my skin color wasnt white.

    Posted by D'Nadia | January 20, 2015, 11:14 am
    • This is so true
      I agree with you my boyfriend is from Yemen too and he loves me for who and how I am
      I don’t looks Arab my skin color is brown too and I’m from El Salvador
      Best thing I’m Muslim and convert long before I met him

      Posted by Aleena | November 24, 2015, 10:25 pm
  17. hello every one im from russia and i think we all difrents with attitude but still humen and soul,and its some men and wome can treat you bed or good from any country you just have to be carefull and wise women and educate your self what is rigth or wrong. and pray to God to he can bless you with good husband or wife! i wish you all happiness to all soul with God mercy! every one decerve be happy !God blessed!

    Posted by anzhelika! | January 25, 2015, 7:10 pm
  18. This article was clearly written by an insecure Arab woman. It’s none of your business what men like. Stop being insecure about Arab guys going for Western women. Worry about the ones who are attracted to you and stop meddling. Men have every right to be attracted to what they want. Also at least when a Western woman is a virgin she is a real virgin not a surgical virgin like the Arab women. Sorry!!!

    Posted by Celina | January 28, 2015, 5:33 am
  19. white guys are superior.

    Posted by Clean Villas | February 14, 2015, 3:59 pm
  20. Ao true I'm using google translate to love my Arab man, its working!

    Posted by tiger | February 26, 2015, 7:13 pm
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  22. white guys are superior

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    Posted by Xnxx | May 9, 2015, 11:26 am
  24. I’m an Arab guy, raised in Jordan and Canada. As much as my mama and baba want me to marry whoever I’d on their mind, I think I’ll end up with s white girl. I love being Arab so much, but I love Canada too, but I don’t think a white girl would be down to be part of Arab culture. I know at some point I wanna live back home, and I don’t want her to be left out and all. Unless she’s up for it but my family is kinda hard to deal with. Especially when their eldest got married to a white girl. Also, a bunch of my friends think only a white girl is what’s good with me. Tbh, white girls, one thing I know most, and I mean around 99% of Arab guys want a virgin…

    Posted by Ahmad | June 15, 2015, 2:11 pm
  25. Western culture are really shallow-minded
    1. not all Arabs are Muslims
    2. Your thinking is limited to sex
    3.Racism is the dominant side in your vote to others
    4.Arabs, like other people have emotional and physiological aspects ,Their communities include the upright people, delinquents . exactly just like you
    5.Stop playing the role of genius who knows everything about the others, because that makes you look too ridiculous
    6.your main problem is the mixing among civilizations , you can't recognize between Arabs, Persian , Pakistan ,Indian and Afghan

    Posted by Hate stupids | July 2, 2015, 9:40 am
  26. I'm MOROCCAN , and that's not true , i want white girl as all my friends want . blue eyed blond or brown hair , tall . who don't have arabic culture. if she don't want to convert it's not problem for me, i will not obligate her to do it , i m not practicing religion but i m muslim. bye

    Posted by ayoub | July 4, 2015, 11:01 am
  27. Let me tell you something that is TRUE. Most Arab men live a lie, they put up a front with their Arab wife, but most of them are really not happy at home. They cheat on their wife, chatting with women of other race or religion on the net. Arab men are SO unfaithful to their wives.

    Posted by Gael | July 18, 2015, 3:59 pm
  28. What a crap! How can you say that white men take whatever! Oh really??? So do all your arabic girls are well educated as most of white, they have seen the world and have a good taste for food and cooking all the kinds , not only your majbooz or briyani every day?? From another side there is very small amount of white girls who actually will agree to marry arab and live in his country and accept his culture and Islam! It can be the girl from poor family or undeveloped country in most cases , so for her it’s a survival pack, nothing else. And, there are so few Arabs who can speak English fluently, know the history of the world and culture but MBC channel on tv. Speaking khaleeji Arabs. Forget to go to any museums or discuss an interesting book with him)) and what can they offer??? Sit all day at villa (in best case) or go to the mall? Traveling with him to see another countries is not in most cases usually they go with their best friends and have fun there and control your actions from outside. As they can’t really go out and be seemed in clubs and bars at home country. So what a life can they offer to western girl??What??? And we also drive porches and ferrari in europe, we have Tiffany jewelry, not a gold from gold souk)) and have modern houses.

    Posted by Whitegirl | September 2, 2015, 12:57 pm
  29. The big thing Is look cute and blush while next to him

    Posted by Khalid | September 9, 2015, 8:18 pm

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