Part II. Enjoy.
1. I’m sorry.
2. I won’t marry you unless your income level meets my “reserve.”
3. No matter how much I like you, I’m going to judge you based on what my friends think because: a. I have low self-esteem like that and b. why would i date you if it didn’t make my friends jealous?
4. The more you tell me how beautiful you think I am, the less I’ll believe it – because after a while your opinion doesn’t count.
5. I am THAT kind of girl.
6. The only reason I’m marrying you is because it’s socially unacceptable to have children out of wedlock.
7. I’ll start learning how to cook once you put that ring on my finger. And my years of inexperience in the kitchen will surely be reflected in the taste of my meals.
8. My Arab hips may look sexy now, but after my first child they’ll triple in size and you’ll never think about having sex with me again without dry-heaving first.
9. My mom’s an asshole and she’s likely to move in with us and live off of your income.
10. If I let myself go, my mustache grows in thicker than yours.
11. You know how I told you that my hymen broke while riding a bike? That’s not true. (Tarboush Tip: This one is dedicated to those Arab women that date obnoxious, stuck-up, insecure Arab men that actually care about whether or not their partner is a virgin.)
12. When I ask for your help, I don’t really want it; I’m just testing you to see how quickly you’ll respond.
13. It’s not that I think you’re lying; it’s that I don’t trust you, period.
14. Even though I may have no clue what I want, I expect you to anticipate every single one of my needs and desires.
15. If I haven’t already, I will take up smoking – and eventually smell and sound like an old car mechanic.
16. I can’t stand your mother’s tea/makloobah.
17. My parents never really liked you and they probably never will.
18. At haflas, I will dance with any man I please just to make you jealous.
19. I will skim money out of our children’s tuition fund to pay for extensive plastic surgery.
20. When we’re in bed together, all I can think about is Hassan Nasrallah.
(Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti)
Related posts:
- Top 20 things an Arab man won’t tell you
- You Wont See This On CNN
- Israel and Lebanon: What You Wont Hear on CNN
- 15 Things “Never” to Discuss with an Arab
- 17 Things Arab Men Like to Bring Up
This is so misogynistic. My a-rab sistas are all pure, honest women looking for true love.
Posted by Yasser | March 10, 2011, 5:11 pmHilarious
Posted by ArabTexan | March 10, 2011, 7:09 pmI didn't find it funny ..
Posted by Ibby | March 10, 2011, 7:11 pmI lived with an Arab girl/bitch for 4 & 1/2 years…This shit is spot on.
Posted by Rep. Peter King | March 10, 2011, 7:11 pmpeter king,
choke on it. it’s one thing to make jokes and it’s another thing to use oppressive language. don’t call any woman, let alone an arab woman, a bitch again.
andrew
Posted by Andrew | March 11, 2011, 1:16 amWhat about you mother? Can I call her a bitch? Or just a two cent ho?
Posted by Rep. Peter King | March 11, 2011, 11:44 amhaha so in addition to being sexist, you have mommy issues too, king?
what, did your moms not hug you enough as a child? were you not breast-fed long enough (or maybe for too long)?
i feel bad for you, dude. maybe one day you and your mom will find a way to kiss and make up.
Posted by Andrew | March 13, 2011, 4:10 am-This Blogpost itself is sexist
-Almost Nothing in it is unique to Arab women, except the type of food
-Lebanon is not representative of the Arab world at all
Posted by Andrew is Notfunny | March 14, 2011, 7:35 amSounds like she got you good. Sucks to be you.
Posted by ArabTexan | March 11, 2011, 11:01 amWith these kinds of opinions, it makes sense that you guys need to put out ads to find this guy a girl.
Posted by GMD | March 10, 2011, 7:20 pmGMD,
you may be onto something. but these aren’t really opinions; they’re more like observations.
Posted by andrew | March 11, 2011, 3:18 amWell, if this is what you're observing, either you need a new pair of glasses, or you haven't see much of the wide world of Arab women!
Posted by GMD | March 11, 2011, 4:54 pmhaha or maybe i’ve been spending too much time in lebanon…
andrew
Posted by Andrew | March 13, 2011, 4:12 amJudging by these articles it would appear Arabs are the poster children for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Perhaps you can get your findings published in the DSM IV, Arabic version. They seem quite scientific.
Meantime, good luck finding a mate, mate.
Posted by Sean2009 | March 10, 2011, 8:12 pmhaha thanks. will keep you posted.
Posted by andrew | March 11, 2011, 3:09 amGoodness me!!!!! I was thinking of hooking you up with a beautiful Arab girl with manicured nails.. Now, I am not so sure!
Posted by Arab | March 11, 2011, 3:47 amArab,
i made a list for my arab men, so it’s only fair that i made one for my arab women, too
Posted by andrew | March 11, 2011, 4:17 amAndrew, woohoo, harsh! You pegged the worst of Eve in all us ladies, though, just the Arab region detail highlighted. Owning it, warned by it.
Good response to Rep King., especially in light of that new TV show threatening to come out.
Posted by kinziblogs | March 11, 2011, 5:22 amhaha thank you. i’ve been following king’s crazy witch-hunt but haven’t heard about a television show. what’s it called/about?
Posted by andrew | March 11, 2011, 6:09 amThe ABC series-to-be is entitled "Good Christian B*tches". A divorcee moves to Texas and discovers how wicked Christian women are.
(full disclosure, I am all for the King proceedings. Somewhere between the crazy witch-hunt and the level of denial within the US ummah, there are some truths that need to be revealed.)
Posted by kinziblogs | March 11, 2011, 1:08 pmtruths that need to be revealed? denial in the US ummah? please explain…
the king hearings represent nothing more than king’s shallow and racist attempts to further villify muslims in the united states and make people more afraid of the so-called “islamic threat.”
Posted by Andrew | March 13, 2011, 4:03 amAndrew, sorry to be provocative. Many of my Muslim American ladyfriends (converts) are concerned about the threat of some strands of Islam (not "Islamic Threat") that are taking hold in their communities. They are the ones who tell me about the level of denial, the need to 'protect' the ummah, how they are told to be quiet and not rock the boat. The folks they are afraid of are the ones I am afraid of. The same ones who are doing a fine job villifying Muslims without a bit of Rep King's help. Pretending that this element is not an issue, and should not be put on the table, does not engender trust nor respect. (did that help?)
Posted by kinziblogs | March 14, 2011, 2:22 pmAndrew, I just listened to this, did you hear it?
http://onpoint.wbur.org/2011/03/09/muslim-america…
Posted by kinziblogs | March 17, 2011, 8:33 amI have never been so happy to be an ejnabia….
although my Arab friends don't date before marriage (let alone dance with a man in public) and think riding a bike is 3eb.
Posted by Isis911 | March 11, 2011, 11:55 amYou got a man, girl?
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 12:21 amnope….but I actually do ride a bike, so what man would want me??
Posted by Isis911 | March 12, 2011, 9:15 amI'm always lookin' for a ride or die chick…
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 12:49 pmsorry habibi, I don't do long distance
Posted by Isis911 | March 12, 2011, 3:52 pmWhere you stay girl? I'm unemployed, so a brother can pack, catch a greyhound and be where you be in no motherfuckin' time…just let me know what's, really good.
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 4:07 pmyou're gonna need a little more than a greyhound to get to where I live!
Posted by Isis911 | March 12, 2011, 4:15 pmDamn, you a international shorty? We can facebook til i get my paper up – unless you wanna go half on plane ticket, with the intention of eventually going half on a baby. Real talk, real life.
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 4:25 pmwhat, and ruin my reputation? lol if I wanted to date a sheb I've never met I'd take up one of the offers I get every time I leave my house.
Posted by Isis911 | March 13, 2011, 8:30 amGood to be a Kashmiri.
Posted by SanaKF | March 11, 2011, 10:55 pmHow bout you boo, you rollin' dolo? Kashmiri's got that good hair.
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 12:22 amAw shiiii, boy you heard what's good.
Posted by SanaKF | March 12, 2011, 12:27 amSana, wannabe-Saudi (=most Kashmiri women of this generation) makes the Khaleeji chicks so bloody insecure.
Posted by Halah | March 12, 2011, 5:48 amWannabe Saudi? I don't know anyone who wants to be Saudi.
Posted by SanaKF | March 12, 2011, 12:39 pmWanna be Saudi? Who in their right mind wants to be Saudi? Other than oil money, they're purple and have small faces resembling that of a baby born to an alcoholic mother.
Real talk, i'm not racist, but i hate purple people.
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 12:48 pmYo Sana, you know im just playin' right? And yes, that's me on twitter…
Posted by Yasser | March 17, 2011, 10:21 pmFor real shorty, I got nothin' but love for my Kashmiri sistas…
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 12:47 amaw yeah. Etc.
Posted by SanaKF | March 12, 2011, 12:40 pm….yeah whateva
Posted by Yasser | March 12, 2011, 4:08 pmTip #20 is the shizat!!!!
Posted by Ali | March 13, 2011, 6:17 amFrom Kabobfest policy: "We remove comments that are made in someone else's name, spam or grossly off-topic, and anything deragatory (including racist) and defamatory."
This post was nothing short of derogatory. What misogynistic, bitter, embarrassing, and shameful trash. Way to perpetuate the gender divide and solidify your support for patriarchy. Thanks for taking your bruised ego out on Arab women everywhere. This post was disgusting, and I can't believe anyone might support it. Grow the fuck up.
Posted by Deena | March 14, 2011, 2:36 amStereo typing is a type of racism. And being an arab, living in an arab country, having arab friends, etc.. does not change the fact that is what this is
Posted by Andrew is Notfunny | March 14, 2011, 7:39 amthis was hardly stereotyping; it’s a satire on stereotypes. no different than chappelle’s satirical commentary on crack addicts through his character tyrone biggums.
as an arab, i think it’s totally appropriate to make fun of the various stereotypes that we all know exist and that are tossed around frequently by people within our community. whether or not you found it funny is a matter of personal preference, and i respect that.
Posted by andrew | March 14, 2011, 8:36 amSeems like someone desperately needs to work on their sense of humor (and intelligence)… this was one of the trashiest and unfunny articles I've read (surprised that kabobfest would actually publish such derogatory nonsense)
Andrew… you should probably leave Arab women (and all women to be precise) alone… because clearly you haven't a clue.
Posted by Childish Andrew | July 17, 2011, 11:33 am#21 She will never read your site again, because she's now convinced you're self-hating misogynists.
Good-bye.
Posted by amapofhome | July 18, 2011, 10:58 amIm an Arabic woman its not funny at all…..and this article may reflect 10% or less i donn't care but to generalize it like this is so horrible. ..I live id the US for 7 years i saw horrible women in other culture specially how they treat their family .. her mother or her husband or her child ..no love or emotion like arabic woman ..
Posted by falasteen | July 18, 2011, 1:35 pmFalasteen, that is exactly how you Arabs get defensive , you guys are Pathetic.
Posted by Guest | January 26, 2012, 12:32 pmhow is this funny?
Posted by Alaa | October 18, 2011, 12:32 pmWhat a load of rubbish….
Try writing a book about your life instead.
Posted by Sam | November 10, 2011, 10:05 pmUNIVERSAL JOKES……………………………………………………………………………..
Posted by Abc | January 19, 2012, 1:29 am