No one told us about this.

Muslims have an image problem – one not entirely their own fault. Granted terror attacks carried out by people supposedly speaking in the name of Islam don’t help, yet at the same time our lovely friend, the tabloid media, aren’t exactly experts in avoiding the twin terrors of prejudice and the stereotype.

From a brief analysis of the British tabloid media it is quickly apparent that liberties are taken with the truth when it comes to reporting stories about Muslims.

Let’s take a story that hit the headlines in 2010. Pope Benedict XVI was making a historic first visit to the UK. Millions came out to greet the Pope. I’m no Catholic and even I was curious enough to walk 100 meters from my house to see him bless my local fish and chip shop.

However, behind the pomp and ceremony there was an unsavory plot brewing. Six North African cleaners were planning to attack the Pope. They were apparently planning a “double blow to the infidel” by taking out the Pope and hundreds of pilgrims with their dastardly plans. Everything was so clear-cut that the Daily Express splashed the story across their front page, with the headline “MUSLIM PLOT TO KILL POPE”. Other media outlets carried the faces and names of the members of this Islamofascist cell.

And what happened to these deadly Muslim murderers?

Well, they were released without charge the next day.

Wait, what?

Well it turns out there was no plot. No, the real story was that these unfortunate men happened to be reading a story about the Pope’s visit and spotted a picture of the Pope-mobile. Impressive vehicle, I’m sure you’d agree. Bulletproof glass, armored side panels, hydraulic lift. The men joked that it would be impossible to do anything to such a vehicle, unless you had a rocket or something. It was a joke, said in jest, not to be taken seriously. And anyway, how can it even be construed as a plot to kill the Pope?

Story retraction ..not so sexy.

Unfortunately for the cleaners, someone overheard them, reported them, and their faces and names were plastered everywhere. Many newspapers reported the plot as absolute truth. Innocent until proven guilty, eh? Innocent until proven Muslim more like.

And the retraction? Well surely it should be put in a prominent position so as to alert the reader that that plot wasn’t actually happening and was just a figment of someone’s imagination?

Not quite.

Instead, on page 9, a solitary sentence at the bottom of an article sufficed. How many of those who read the Express’ headline still think that there was a Muslim plot to kill the Pope?

“But that’s just one example!” I hear you scream. Okay then, how about this: The Sun, Britain’s most popular newspaper (owned by our good friend Rupert Murdoch), chose this headline on the day of the Utoeya Massacre in Norway, “NORWAY’S 9/11″. They added “‘AL-QAEDA’ MASSACRE” on the strap line in case the reader hadn’t got the message. When word got out that the gunman arrested was a blond, blue-eyed Norwegian man, the Sun kept with the al-Qaeda Muslim terrorist angle. The suspect arrested raised “fears that he was a homegrown Al-Qaeda convert.”

Well, maybe the Sun were simply making an educated guess? I mean, aren’t all terrorists Muslim anyway?

Not according to the European Union’s criminal intelligence agency, Europol. According to their 2010 report, ‘Islamist’ terrorists carried out three attacks in EU territory. This is opposed to 160 attacks by separatist groups and 45 attacks by left-wing and anarchist groups.

But hey, The Sun, don’t let facts get in the way.

And when there isn’t an attack to pin on Muslims, then just amplify the voice of a crazed idiot and make him the voice of the Muslim community! Meet Anjem Choudary, or Andy as he was known in his more ‘liberal’ days. This guy has led many extremist groups in the UK – well, pretty much the same group, with a name change each time it gets banned. He’s the type of person that gives your raging Islamophobes, Pamela Gellar, Ann Coulter, etc, the opportunity to shout, “Look, he’s a real, scary Muslim! Not faking it like the rest of them!”

Who would punch Leona Lewis?! She bleeds love metaphorically, not actually.

So how does Anjem Choudary fit into all this? Well, look at this headline, again from the Daily Express – “Now Muslims demand: GIVE US FULL SHARIA LAW” it screams. Quite clearly, what the Daily Express appears to be reporting on is a mass gathering of Britain’s 3 million Muslims, a Grand Muslim Council if you like. The Grand Muslim Council obviously got together and decided that they wanted Sharia Law for the UK (forgetting the various different interpretations of sharia law). This announcement was on behalf of every single British Muslim. I mean, that’s the impression from the headline, right?

Of course, once those pesky Muslims have got their Sharia Law and forced it on the rest of Britain, the Brits left who haven’t been stoned or beheaded will be greeted with a replacement for London’s iconic Nelson’s Column. As the Daily Express have rather helpfully sketched up for us, the statue of Lord Nelson (North Americans, read up on him) will be replaced by what looks like some sort of clock tower and a black ‘Islamic’ flag. Sharia law Britain. That’s what it’ll look like.

Okay, so what’s actually happened here? And how does Anjem Choudary come into this?

The entire story is based on a quotation from Mr Andy Choudary demanding that the UK impose Sharia Law. So, to get this straight, Anjem Choudary, leader of a tiny irrelevant group, is the official representative of all Muslims in the UK, according to the sorry posse of imbeciles who call themselves journalists at the Daily Express. Anjem Choudary, the man who, if I saw in the street, I would have a strong word with, to put it lightly, apparently represents me, as a British Muslim. To use that traditional English phrase, what utter bollocks.

How does this all work? To answer this, let’s turn to former Daily Star journalist, Richard Peppiatt. For those of you who are lucky enough never to have heard of the Daily Star, it’s a low-end tabloid that usually devotes it’s front page to a giant picture of a scantily-clad woman. Peppiatt resigned in protest at the paper’s practices, his resignation letter ending with “when that cheap-and-cheerful journalism gives the oxygen of publicity to corrosive groups like the EDL [a far-right English nationalist group] … it’s time to lay down my pen.”

Peppiat explained that Choudary was often used when the Daily Star was having a slow news day. Over to you, Richard:

“Many a morning I’ve hit my speed dial button to Muslim rent-a-rant Anjem Choudary to see if he fancied pulling together a few lines about whipping drunks or stoning homosexuals.”

At least you were helping someone out, Anjem.

Muslims excrete differently.

The Daily Starcontinued their excellent work without Peppiatt. Here’s a story of theirs, with the headline “MUSLIM-ONLY

PUBLIC LOOS – Council wastes YOUR money on hole-in-ground toilets”.

Except that ‘hole-in-ground’ toilets are in no way ‘Muslim-only’, you can find them in South European countries, and across China and India (and you won’t find me anywhere near one), and it was a privately owned shopping mall, and therefore NOT public money.

But again, what’s the truth when you’ve got a good Muslim-baiting headline.

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