// you're reading...

Culture

On Chafed Oddballs, Siberian Socialites and Missed Opportunities

Contributed by Amad Ahmed

Although the Speedo brand is relatively unconcerned about the elasticity of their swim briefs, high-testosterone teens are committed to exploring the nature of it. The subject of these experiments is usually an unworldly kid, dangling from the pegs of a P.E locker room in an atomic wedgie after swim class. This experience translates as an important life lesson, there is a heightened awareness of what’s expected and accepted in social circles. By being aware of the boundaries of certain circles, personality can be regulated to ensure we exist successfully in them. Having been chafed red for wearing Speedo’s, our unworldly n00b now knows that its better to retweet a Fernando Torres joke than one about how ‘real’ Khloe Kardashian is. This fictitious, well serving n00b has compromised his individuality by diluting it with the image his peers expect of him – spiked hair, cigarettes and trainers with air bubbles in them.

Whilst this all sits well in the peer-sanctioned groups of high school, its inherent limitations are realised when set against the diversity of a University campus. This ‘grey personality’ is paradoxically highlighted when set beside the colour of fellow students – those uninhibited in thought, opinion and experience. It is the colourful ones that find each other in niche fresher’s week societies; soft eye contact bringing couples together as they contest uninformed interpretations of Nietzsche. The Islamic Society is by far the funniest, with oddball liberalists quoting scholars to justify sitting next to a hotjabi in a segregated room. To this polished crowd, it takes more than a vague reference of Noam Chomsky to impress and a sense of not belonging creeps in, bringing out the nebbish that lingers in us all.

Having fallen short of hipster-y activism and realising that general knowledge is too general to be relied on, the highbrow circles are dismissed. This is where the Student Union Rave attracts its minority crowd, those that want the duel function of socialising with girls whilst maintaining the façade of intelligence. Though it may seem to be the case, the rave is not exclusive to attractive people – there are no regulations against acne or wimpy arms. The dark room is forgiving to the pale complexion achieved from scrolling 9gag posts all day and the random flashes of strobe lighting do little more than reveal homo sapien taxonomy. For those with an insipid disposition, 18” speakers boom out the latest MTV tripe, letting conversation to comfortably plateau at the lameness of Meg Griffin and the epic killing spree’s achieved playing COD.

As uninspired as guy talk may be, it’s the safe platform from which lecherous phoarr-ing and corr-ing can de indulged in. The crude, noncommittal nature of these remarks is employed because women at a rave are by default, cold and indifferent; a historian friend described it ‘as if she were Siberia and I, an exiled revolutionary’. If ‘porridge personality’ does manage to strike a conversation with Siberia, a broad and generic disposition is adopted; with conversation limited to how rubbish WhatsApp is and whether Cheryl Cole is getting too skinny. If inanity isn’t prevalent, rejection often follows –in an excruciatingly loud voice, echoed by a less attractive, more animated, somehow involved friend. Following the shameful walk back, Burnt Porridge has two options. The first is to stay and take pictures with platonic female friends, giving the impression of a fun night with hot chicks. Alternatively, he can come prepared for chit-chat with uninterested and uninteresting woman, hoarsely exchanging celebrity drivel picked up from last week’s Grazia.

As it is a primarily shallow environment, Porridge has to simply fit in and get by – the lessons learnt from the atomic wedgie are again relevant – the special snowflake must fall into a bed of superficiality. However, once a porridge persona has been adopted and accepted, approval from Siberia is transitory, effortless and essentially meaningless. Life gets tedious in this cycle of hackneyed relations and it is only when a woman of substance slips in that the snow globe of banality is shaken up and a journey of belated self-discovery begins. There’ll be no flirty cackling coming from her; her cheeks will glow in candlelit delight as she laughs at your Dumbledore impression. The University campus thrives on people leaving their comfort zones in the effort to be well-rounded individuals, but rave night success does little to get you there. If it’s not a social setting that that is natural to you it’ll require a one-dimensional commitment that comes at the price of other, more worthwhile ones. Time is better spent in the Philosophy society; even if your contributions don’t go beyond making jokes about Nietzsche being German with a moustache.

Contributed by Amad Ahmed

Did you like this? Share it:

Discussion

102 Responses to “On Chafed Oddballs, Siberian Socialites and Missed Opportunities”

  1. Thank you for your information. I love to read it much. Real estate course click here

    Posted by Click here | October 25, 2013, 4:41 am
  2. Thank you for your helps. Youtube repeat youtube loop

    Posted by Fstyle | October 25, 2013, 4:42 am
  3. Great article. I love to read it. Anonymous proxy server Anonymous proxy server

    Posted by buingocbinh | October 25, 2013, 5:02 am
  4. Good works. I read carefully your post and find out it's wonderful. Motorola video baby monitor

    Posted by Best baby monitor | October 25, 2013, 5:06 am
  5. Awesome stuff.Thanks for sharing.I would like to bookmark this page. Real estate course property agent course Singapore

    Posted by Summer Monitor | November 5, 2013, 4:04 am
  6. Good works. I read carefully your post and find out it's wonderful. Real estate course Real estate Course Colintan

    Posted by loop youtube | November 5, 2013, 4:37 am
  7. Great article. I love to read it. Jobs for 16 year olds Click

    Posted by 15 jobs | November 5, 2013, 4:42 am
  8. Thank you for your information. I love to read it much. Fashion magazine <a href="http://fstyle.sg” target=”_blank”>http://fstyle.sg

    Posted by Website designer | November 5, 2013, 4:54 am
  9. How did you get to be this great? Its remarkable to see someone put so much passion into a subject. Im glad I came across this. Im glad I took the time to read on past the first paragraph. Youve got so much to say, so significantly to give. I hope men and women realise this and look into your page

    Posted by baju hamil modis | November 6, 2013, 2:15 am
  10. you did nice work your post is awesome its increase my knowledge.the post is best i can read this type of post nice sharing. keep it up

    Posted by Dosage Forms | November 16, 2013, 5:57 am
  11. The information given in your site is very descriptive and informative i would surely like to share this information with my friends and my relatives.

    Posted by Pharma Packaging | November 16, 2013, 5:58 am
  12. I wonder how you got so good. HaHa! This is really a fascinating blog, lots of stuff that I can get into. One thing I just want to say is that your design is so perfect!

    Posted by click here | November 21, 2013, 10:27 pm
  13. I was searching some information for my college project and i found all of them here. I will come here again to get some more info.

    Posted by concrete breaking | November 30, 2013, 2:55 am
  14. Very good and fun read. I have so many missed opportunities in life..

    Posted by Best Friend Stuff | December 10, 2013, 11:27 pm
  15. I am just so done with finding junk via the internet, eventually a well produced and unified submit that's really about the subject I am enthusiastic about. Superbly written article, if only all bloggers offered the same content as you, the internet would be a far better place..

    Posted by General Contractors | December 18, 2013, 4:39 am
  16. Once upon the eve of a revolution, I happened to be traversing around Islamic Cairo’s Shari-el-Moez (Moez Street). Ok, so it wasn’t the eve per say, but a week before- regardless, that’s beside the point.

    Posted by Orya Maqbool Jan | December 24, 2013, 7:17 am
  17. Protocols for the assessment of “missed opportunities”

    Posted by danadiaconu | January 2, 2014, 3:21 am
  18. I'm shocked that Christine Quinn isn't there taking credit for the uprising and taking advantage of the photo opportunity. Then she can sell the building to her campaign supporters

    Posted by increase cow milk | January 29, 2014, 1:03 am
  19. You have no pride or sense of history. Those who feel the way you do are bound to make the same dumb mistakes again instead of learning from them.

    Posted by Electrical panel | January 29, 2014, 1:04 am
  20. I do not understand this. IT has been my understanding that the Sonewall Inn is a National HIstoric site and therefore is under the control of the Park Service et al. SO if this is true –then how did someone

    Posted by poultry incubator | January 29, 2014, 1:04 am
  21. You're so cool! I don't think I've read anything like this before. So good to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject. Thanks for starting this up.

    Posted by baby boomers | February 5, 2014, 10:36 pm
  22. Thank you very much for posting and sharing this great article. It is so interesting. I want to know some other information about this site. So please give me this news quickly. I always will be aware of you

    Posted by baby boomers | February 10, 2014, 10:45 am
  23. After you have done this, you will see a link appear that says “Crawler Access”.
    Anyone with an organization with an Internet connection can
    add content to your blog at any time.

    Posted by Louvenia | February 11, 2014, 3:13 am
  24. How to increase your breast size naturally

    Posted by BoostYourBustReview | February 21, 2014, 8:40 am
  25. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

    Posted by dimiwisegr | March 14, 2014, 6:07 pm
  26. Fantastic is the only word I can say.

    Posted by http://tokobeken.com | March 29, 2014, 5:08 am
  27. 14/08/2012Thanks for this wonderful aitcrle. Yet another thing to mention is that most digital cameras arrive equipped with any zoom lens that permits more or less of a scene to get included by simply zooming’ in and out. These kind of changes in focusing length are reflected from the viewfinder and on significant display screen on the back of the specific camera.

    Posted by Abe | April 3, 2014, 3:13 pm
  28. I have found some smart posts here. I liked them all. Thanks to all for their posts.

    Posted by Sell my Diamond | April 9, 2014, 2:00 am
  29. Aw, this was a really great post. In theory I'd like to write like this also – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done. umroh

    Posted by kichardson | April 12, 2014, 8:37 am
  30. Have you ever considered adding more videos to your blog posts to keep the readers more entertained? I mean I just read through the entire article of yours and it was quite good but since I'm more of a visual learner,I found that to be more helpful well let me know how it turns out! I love what you guys are always up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys I've added you guys to my blogroll. This is a great article thanks for sharing this informative information.. I will visit your blog regularly for some latest post.
    harga ipada terbaru

    Posted by kichardson | April 14, 2014, 7:07 am
  31. This is the best supplements i have tried. Will you try it?

    Posted by initiation machines | April 16, 2014, 1:56 am
  32. M88 Numerous countries have entirely accepted stop. These are

    typically the nations worldwide which have developed a big budgetary industry through gaming.

    Then supplemental countries which may have not allowed it and also have had way too many bounds

    close to that. And here , lots of people knowledge M88 Vietnam has

    decreased. They find not used the opportunity within m88 bingo fully nonetheless taking money prospects out of it out time frame.

    Some people may feel as if this is a m88 neat thing, nevertheless from an economic view

    it may be a inadequate concern

    The specific arguments versus gambling online entail the particular

    matter of integrated the particular squad. As it is easy that will placed money shared you don’t need to would like to wrong individual getting on

    top of m88 the pc and putting dollars around. They can easily waste material their own as well

    as somebody else’s life enough cash using

    the click on of your mouse button. With this specific

    goal it is necessary for just about any country to possess regulations and in addition safe guards against minors doing top of

    these m88 internet gambling internet sites. They simply don’t have with the life feelings that are essential to

    face the best decisions with these different types of details

    Females stress about in your mind differently abled folks joining such on the net

    m88 casinos. Oftentimes they can n’t have the wisdom necessary to take

    pleasure in gambling and may enter troubles. This is certainly dangerous and also steps

    have to be considered every time a country acadamies m88 online gambling against

    in which

    Posted by m88 | April 16, 2014, 3:08 pm
  33. The beauty of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the lack of limitations and ease of manipulation that allows developers to implement rich content and 'skin' the site in such a way that with very little effort one would never notice what it is making the site tick all without limiting content and effectiveness. read blog

    Posted by kichardson | April 19, 2014, 4:50 am
  34. Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a outstanding job! harga hp samsung

    Posted by kichardson | April 29, 2014, 3:54 am
  35. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! https://archive.org/details/UltimateHerpesProtocohttps://archive.org/details/TaoOfBadassReview

    Posted by Vana | May 8, 2014, 9:32 am
  36. Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a outstanding job! harga iphone

    Posted by Doris | May 31, 2014, 3:07 am
  37. I think they are doing any good for all of us.. that's how it is then for me and I do like it. It's really going to be so fun.

    Posted by my link post | June 25, 2014, 8:20 am
  38. The poor guy in the pic. Ha ha I have experienced that feeling before

    Posted by Mike | June 25, 2014, 6:10 pm

Post a comment

Connect With Us Ya Hmeer!

resume resume

Recent Posts

So, Who’s the Threat to America Again?
August 20, 2012
By Guest
Where Do We Keep Islamophobia?
August 15, 2012
By Shubnum
Lobbying Versus Advocacy
August 1, 2012
By Mehrunisa
On the destruction of Speaker’s Corner
July 17, 2012
By Abubakr
Stateless & Speechless, A Palestinian Regains Speech
July 12, 2012
By Hanitizer
White, Black American groups ‘swap’ summer interns
July 10, 2012
By Guest
The Costs of Stripping
June 25, 2012
By Mehrunisa
Be The Fundamental Pizza of a Man
June 25, 2012
By Guest
In US, They Want Fun, Fun Fun
June 23, 2012
By Sana
I Ain’t Afraid of No Regime
June 15, 2012
By Husam
ADC: Arab American Professionals’ Gateway to DC
June 12, 2012
By Hanitizer
Influence And Freedom
May 23, 2012
By Guest
Will Sacha Baron Cohen Bring His Muslim Bashing To An End?
May 22, 2012
By Hanitizer
On Chafed Oddballs, Siberian Socialites and Missed Opportunities
May 5, 2012
By Guest
A Single Roll of the Dice
April 23, 2012
By Guest