Andrew is a student of law at a michigan madrassa with a strong affinity for fruity alcoholic beverages and Rihanna. Andrew’s writing is a lot like sex: always meaningless, often pleasurable, sometimes awkward, and occasionally painful. Follow Andrew @ajdalack
Fayyad is KABOBfest’s expert on boater culture is a sharp-talking and saavy opponent of spell-checker. He is the fest’s most eligible bachelor, and Jenin’s favorite blogger. Follow Fayyad @Fayyad
Hanitizer, because every blog needs a resident Arabic pop culture analyst. Our resident prolific list maker, this Gazawi Youtube addict uses humor to bring Arabic stars down to size. Follow his blog atHotArabicMusic.com, and on @HotArabicMusic
Kalash is a media guru of Levantine extract. He writes from inside the beltway, but in physical terms only.
Maytha, the fest’s sweetheart and the brains behind the “May’s InRANTations” series, is the pop culture pundit who has her ears to the rhythms of the Arab and American worlds. She is a doctoral student at a West Coast madrassa, and loves to travel around aimlessly thinking of nonexistent concepts to talk about. Follow Maytha at @MayAlhassen
Mohammad was conceived as a result of a PCP-fueled game of Twister involving Jafar from Alladin, Catwoman and a big fucking alligator, Mohammad was born in the rough sands of Gaza, where he enjoyed whipping Israeli army patrols like they were Catholic school girls and making them wear their panties on their heads. Eventually the UN had to step in and stop that nonsense, so at age 2 he found his ass shipped off to the slums of English inner-cities. He’s come a long way since but you can follow him @falasteeni.
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Nadeem 2.0 is our go-to guy for scribbles and graphics. He’s the illegitimate love child of Perez Hilton and Naji al-Ali.
Nawal, is straight from the Bireh, by way of DMV, so watch out. She’ll cut you if you’re from Ramallah. She’s on the no-fly list because her maklooba is the bomb. When she’s not blogging, she’d doing everything else she does.
Jillian is shrouded in mystery in secrecy. She’s tricked the internet into paying her to be online all the time, making her the smartest person here. Her giant blond afro is a clear indication of her political extremism. She probably works for the Canadian mukhabaraat. Follow her @JillianCYork, and on Global Voices.
QuiQui is a graduate worker at a madrassa that consistently boasts an great basketball team. She is the eye behind the Buttons for Obamatards series.
Sana is a strict adherent of the “Haters gonna hate” school of thought, holding back no punches when bashing Arabs during standup routines. She is currently finishing up an MA at a Canadian Middle East madrassa and spends her free time trying to ward off Ayman Mohyeldin’s desperate advances on Twitter. Follow her @SanaSaeed
Sarakenos is a modern day Ibn Battuta, living in different places each year. How freaking exotic is that! He wants you to know that he’d do anything for chocolate chip cookies. Anything, *wink*.
Will is a PhD student at a Michigan-based madrassa and is generally acknowledged as the brains behind KABOBfest. He is simultaneously an angry idiot, political extremist, and an overgrown juvenile delinquent.
KABOBer Emeriti
Chaim Sugarman is rotting away in Syrian prison for the crime of blogging…
Emily is doing Doctorly things…
Fadi, a legendary student-activist…
Hanaan, a big-shot producer, you know it…
Los is doing his thing in the Bmore…
Nabeel was one of the original KABOBers…
Nimr is wandering the wastelands of post-academic life…
Programmer Buydatti is on the run for turning Chaim in to Syrian authorities…
Sunbula, an elite New York madrassa-educated katkoota of mixed heritage…
Um Mazen is chasing dreamy, intellectual Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas…
Yaman, a consummate troublemaker, is a grad of a West Coast madrassa…
Discussion
7 Responses to “KABOBer Bios”
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I want to join the above posse! Where do I sign UP!
Posted by Nasrine | April 18, 2011, 5:08 amNICE WEB.
Posted by yemeni | May 1, 2011, 3:21 amME TOO I want to join, are there any age limitations/requirements?
Posted by homegirl | May 22, 2011, 5:28 pmyou need to be able to do the following:
1. beat a grown lion in a wrestling match
2. successfully fool the internet community that you are a gay girl living in damascus
3. fit 47 purple grapes in your mouth
4. partner up with sarakenos and beat will and sana in a three-legged race
5. drink an entire gallon of water in 240 seconds without vomiting
you up for the challenge?
Posted by Andrew | June 16, 2011, 5:34 pmHell yeah, except I hate grapes and I'd much rather pretend to be a straight white man in texas.
Posted by homegirl | June 17, 2011, 3:11 pmwho hates grapes?
ok. convince the internet community that you're a straight man in texas that cheated on his wife with another man and isn't sure what this means about his sexuality, and we'll get rid of #3.
deal?
Posted by Andrew | June 20, 2011, 10:38 pmHey kabobers,
Love your site…came across because of your famous how to article on Arab parents. Good stuff
Anynow, i was looking for some advice on the whole marriage situation. Its about that time where nagging and the constant tactics are being used to get me out there….avoiding the conversation is no longer an option. What can a 24 yr old who still lives with her parents do?
Fyi: they are total fobs!
Best,
Mary
Posted by Mary | September 29, 2011, 10:03 am