Comments on KABOBfest: The Match-making Chronicles: Race/Ethnicity/Nation...

Thanks Nev!

2008-01-31T12:24:00.000-08:00

Thanks Nev!

Maytha, I love your posts

2008-01-31T11:34:00.000-08:00

Maytha, I love your posts

Mehwedge...mehwedge is wot bwings us togevah today...

2008-01-31T09:18:00.000-08:00

Mehwedge...mehwedge is wot bwings us togevah today.

Why isn't Saladin railing against how much Saudis hate everybody else?

try being Arab and non-Muslim. the chances of find...

2008-01-31T08:28:00.000-08:00

try being Arab and non-Muslim. the chances of finding partner are near impossible, as many Arab fathers treat you like the plague.

Programmed Crackhead,When did you first fall in lo...

2008-01-31T08:04:00.000-08:00

Programmed Crackhead,

When did you first fall in love with racism?

*Smoke........Crack, everyday*

The children of Saudi women married to foreigners ...

2008-01-31T07:53:00.000-08:00

The children of Saudi women married to foreigners can become citizens, but it is very hard. It involves living in the Kingdom for ten years or more, reading, writing and speaking Arabic fluently, obtaining references from neighbors and professional contacts.

It is hard, but at least there is an avenue, which didnt used to be the case.

We have been working on getting our marriage recognised for 5 years. Without it we cannot visit the Kingdom together, nor can I act as her "mehram".

Abo sinan, I guess the real reason the father obje...

2008-01-31T05:38:00.000-08:00

Abo sinan, I guess the real reason the father objeted non-saudi suiters is that Saudi goverment won't grant citizenship to the children unless the father is a Suadi citizen. The majority of Saudi guys prefer to mary foreign women, no problem regarding citizenship for the offspring.

Thus, Saudi women end up 50 years old virgins. No saudi suiters for them. Niether they can mary non-saudis.

Maytha, It's just as bad for Syrian guys. So I fee...

2008-01-31T05:23:00.000-08:00

Maytha, It's just as bad for Syrian guys. So I feel for you sister. My father is concerned that I'll marry a foriegner when I go for studying abroad. "Thanks for the idea, Dad. I never cared for local gals anyway".

I had to laugh. I am a white guy married to a Sau...

2008-01-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh. I am a white guy married to a Saudi woman. Listening to your baba made me think of other fathers out there.

There is one Saudi guy I know. He has two daughters in their early 30's. They both have masters degrees, both worked and both are well traveled.

They have had many men ask for them, but the father refused stating he wanted a man from his particular tribe in Saudi. Of course considering they have lived the last decade and a half in the West, they didnt know many such men.

So here you have two very well educated women, both working on their PhDs now, being told they cannot marry the doctors, lawyers and scientists that have asked for them because they are not Saudi and not from the right tribe.

What's the REAL kicker in this whole deal? The father is married to a Western/white lady! LOL! Talk about double standards! He can marry outside his race, but his daughters have to marry within his tribe?

But it gets worse. He made one sister wait years to get married because the Lebanese, Syrians and others that had asked for her were not Saudi nor from the right tribe.

When did he finally let one get married and to whom? Recently she was married, but not to a person from her tribe, rather to a Saudi outside her tribe. Why did he allow her to marry this guy and not all of the others that had asked even though non of them were members of her tribe?

Why "wasta" of course, the father was asked by the brother of the current Saudi Ambassador of the US, Nial al Jubeir. So I guess wasta and status trumps tribal affiliation after all.

that's good advice craig, but i think the premise ...

2008-01-31T00:16:00.000-08:00

that's good advice craig, but i think the premise of may's post -- and the reason why she was interrogating her father in the first place -- is that our culture puts the emphasis on marriage. it's not something we're fixated upon for the hell of it.

there is no dating in many traditional arab families -- you're a virgin, then you're engaged, then you're married and popping out children.

of course many of us are lucky to be able to break that mold, but to drop the question of marriage altogether is much easier said than done.

Why so fixated on marriage already when you don't ...

2008-01-30T22:59:00.000-08:00

Why so fixated on marriage already when you don't even have any candidates in mind? Its good to know what kind of guy your family would approve of, but relax... don't rush things along. If you eyeball every guy you meet as a prospective candidate for marriage, you'll freak the poor guys out.