In this month's LeMonde Diplomatique, Dahr Jamail wrote that in the perpetual press frenzy that is the US Presidential elections, critical coverage of the American mess in Iraq has withered.
He argues that not only have the candidates taken softer positions on Iraq, with less talk of withdrawal, but that US media have not taken them to task on it. Despite Obama's solid position on Iraq and lobbying against the invasion, his campaign has been less forthright. Still, Crazy Ol' Man McCain and Billary Clinton offer much worse prospects, he writes.
Jamail notes that most Americans and an even higher percentage of Iraqis seek a quick end to the American occupation. You wouldn't know that from watching CNN.
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Is any body really buying this scam? Even though you would be hard pressed to find a single rational voice in the media who thinks the suspension of the federal gas tax has merit, the proposal still seems to find traction with voters so hard-hit with the economy, if I didn't know any better I would say they are so bitter, they are clinging on to god, guns, and 30 cents a day of economic relief.
Not only is this proposal pandering at its best, the economics of it don't make sense. You can't even justify it with Reaganomics. Many economists have criticized it and made the simple case for why it won't work, but since I'm a Middle Eastern, I'm always expected to weigh in on matters concerning the price of oil. So here it is:
1) Hillary, even if she won the elections, would not be a president this summer. So you'd have to wait until next summer, and hope your pocket book is still hurting enough so that you would care about the 30 cents a day.
2) Hillary, next summer, should she win, will have to go through congress to make such a proposal happen, and even though capitol hill is full of hypocrites and other jerks, they have enough common sense to say no to such a stupid idea.
3) Should this thing pass, gas companies will be able to raise the price to fill that gap, since they have been able to successful squeeze every drop of the consumers' blood so far. They'll raise the price to at lease make up for the charge Hillary would make them pay to offset the lost tax revenue, which by the way is supposed to fix bridges and create construction jobs.
4) No body is asking Hillary how she would prevent the oil companies from raising the price to make up for the gap. And if Hillary does have a way to do so, then why doesn't she just employ her super powers to lower the gas price in the first place, instead of suspending the tax. In any case, if 30 cents a day for three months is enough to buy your vote, then you have a hell of a deal here. You don't even have to make the 15-minute phone call.
[Tarboush Tip: Keith Olbermann for the Gecko inspiration]
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Thank something, the choice is no longer a hard one.
We no longer have to choose between a black man and a woman for president, even if the latter is white. It seems like one of the candidate is actually an old reliable: Hillary has testicular fortitude. Those were the words of a male Indiana union leader as he endorsed the pantsuit-wearing senator from New York. I guess Pennsylvania voters were on to something.
So if your inner misogynist was clashing with your inner racist, you can retire one until 2012. But is it really smart to play up the importance of genitalia metaphors as a deciding factor in the presidential elections when you’re running against a black man? I’m not a racist; I’m just employing a stereotype.
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Look, I'm drinking a shot of whiskey, I'm just like you! I mean, you drink whiskey, right? I'm totally just like you. That means you are a serial liar... err, i mean, serial misspeaker... stuck in a loveless marriage with a fatty, you have an annual joint income in the 10s of millions, and of course, you - too - wont be President any time soon.
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"You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It’s part of culture. It’s part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it’s an important part of who they are."
-Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail in Indiana, April 12, 2008
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He Backtracks, She Backtracks (and again).
What an absurdity this Democratic primary election has become. Devoid of substance, this election is about style and constructing controversies around "gaffes."
I would blame the politicians, the campaign-consultant industry, and exploitative media, but they are only as foolish as the electorate that tolerates them (I can't blame the rest of the public for checking out of this circus).
Still, if I had to blame them, I would focus it on the Clinton campaign, which strikes me as eminently more arrogant, petty, and in the "spoiler" position -- a term which should not be used against third party candidates, but against entitled powermongers who would rather scorch the earth of a viable Democratic candidate than lose the primary election.
I just thought of a barely-related irony: if convicted felons cannot vote in many states, how is it that America elects so many criminals to high office?
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Question: Hillary is so desperate for press, she would:
crawl out of Britney Spears' uterus | |
sell her bod to Spitzer | |
occupy Tibet | |
attend an Indonesian madrassa wearing Somali clothing | |
kidnap a little white girl | |
Votes: 60
KABOBreaders are a wise and learned bunch.
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For weeks I've been trying to convince you that Obama wants to disenfranchise the voters of Michigan and Florida because he's agreeing to comply with the DNC's rules and decisions. I, on the other hand, want to disenfranchise everybody in every state that voted in any primary or caucus. That's right, fuck the voters, fuck democracy and the democratic process, fuck Hussein and the Muslims, fuck Bill Richardson and the irrelevant Latinos, fuck the truth, fuck the Democratic Party, and most of all, FUCK YOU AMERICA!
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Are you all really that surprised that I'm resorting to outright lies? I mean, I stuck with tubs after all these years; obviously I'd say or do anything to be President. Negative and dirty campaigning, lying, scaring up votes, ANYTHING. So vote for me, the only Democratic candidate who loves her country.
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It's not surprising that the intersection of religion and politics may occassionally beget controversy. Really, though, have we ever seen anything that nears the pandamonium surrounding Obama's family minister and spiritual advisor, Jeremiah Wright? I genuinely wonder if this is at least partially a product of White people wanting to feel indignant at the Black man. I mean, it's not like he's the first to use fiery rhetoric to convey ideas that can be considered offensive or inflammatory to some sector of society. Presidential spiritual advisors - past and present - openly preach anticipation for America's destruction (i.e., the rapture), the threat of Jews, the evil of homosexuality, and a desire to eradicate the Muslims. McCain's spiritual guide refers to Allah as a "demon spirit" and calls on Christians to wage a war against Muslims. A Bush advisor blames the Church for 9/11 and calls on Christians to pray for bin Laden. Hardly a whisper is ever heard about these pontifications. Undoubtedly there is a double standard being applied, and I think it may be beneficial to investigate the reasons.
On a sidenote, I was reading this Washington Post blog on faith, where the Author enters Jesse Jackson (an advisor to the Clintons during that Presidency) into the equation: "The Clintons did not repudiate Jackson... for accepting Arab money for two of his organizations." For those of you who (inexplicably) do not see what's wrong with this statement, imagine if she had said "Black money" or "Jewish money." Just another example of how anti-Arab racism has become a form of acceptable discourse in this country.
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If I'm really lucky, I may win two more Democratic contests. But I'm going to stick to it through the end, bashing Hussein OsamaObama all the way through because I care more about myself than the Party or the country. You're welcome McCain and RNC. As a footnote, Hussein OsamaObama is not a Muslim... AS FAR AS I KNOW. As far as I know, though, he could very well be a Muslim, and the media is clearly biased for not exploring that. As far as I know, I'm not a racist, because Muslim is a religion, not a race (kind of like hating Jews isn't racist). I am a bigot. Get it right.
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An Israeli researcher made international waves after finding that Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he transcribed God's Ten Commandments directly from the great being itself.
That prophets can have world-changing revelations while doped up is not news to us at KABOBfest. Our own personality cult leader, the mysterious Nabeel, shared a recent drug-induced epiphany. As his loyal subject, it is my duty to proselytize his divine message.
He took this picture of Obama street art in San Francisco, and analogized it to Orwell's 1984, saying it is like "OBEY." "OBEYMA" anyone?
Now that I have spread our master's word, we only have to figure whether we are to obey Obama or not.
[tarboush tip: Muhammad and His Holiness, Nabeel]
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How dare Samantha Power call me a monster!?!!?!?
That skinny bitch is going down...NO, not on you Bill!
SHUT THE FUCK UP BILL!
Do something constructive towards winning me the nomination like shaking the hands of superdelegates with Chelsea.
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Henceforth, March 4th is a day that shall live in infamy. I have always respected Barack Obama, ever since he burst into the national spotlight, literally, on the stage of the Democratic National Convention in Boston. I esteemed him for his judgment on the Iraq war and admired his courage to speak out against the war when America was at its peak national hysteria.
While emasculated media organizations and frightened, disheveled Democrats tried to out-Rove Karl, Obama said, “I don’t oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is the attempt by political hacks like Karl Rove to distract us from a rise in the uninsured, a rise in the poverty rate, a drop in the median income – to distract us from corporate scandals and a stock market that has just gone through the worst month since the Great Depression.”
Yes, on October 2nd, 2002, a mere nine days before 77 senators committed our nation to a fight on the other side of the world against a secular dictatorship, hated by and itself at war with Islamists, a dictatorship with no connections to the September 11 attacks or AlQaeda, Obama said, “I don’t oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is the cynical attempt by Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz and other arm-chair, weekend warriors in this Administration to shove their own ideological agendas down our throats, irrespective of the costs in lives lost and in hardships borne.”
Yes, even then I loved Barack Obama. More recently I am inspired by his talk of hope. I am heartened by his high-mindedness even amid the vitriol being unleashed by the Clinton campaign. I am moved by his quiet anger at Clinton’s mud-slinging style of politics.
And until last night, I felt that Obama was graced by God, himself. I admit it. Perhaps it is because the problems we face are so monumental and overwhelming. Because the injustice that we are provoking and incurring is so damning that we need a Moses, a Mohammed, a Jesus or a Buddha to extricate ourselves from burning Baghdad, bondaged Palestine, bottomless deficits, Chinese lenders, stagflation, overcrowded prisons and crumbling America. Obama spoke to us in the language of kindness. He preached hope and unity. He extolled African Americans in the Ebenezer Baptist Church, a shrine of Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement, for tolerating homophobia and anti-Semitism. He is a product of Christianity and Islam, of whites and blacks, of Old World and New World, he is God’s gift to a tried and tired nation.
That is, until March 4th when he lost Texas, Rhode Island and Ohio to a mere mortal and not a magnanimous one at that. It was easy to forgive him his early losses: he was an unknown battling against the heir to the throne. He was David battling Goliath and a redeemed Ishmael under Abraham’s knife. He was the disparate Arab Armies of Mecca that defeated the Persians and the Romans. He was the American pilgrims who won the revolutionary war against all odds. Yes, his wins in Iowa and Super Tuesday were miraculous, nothing short of divine intervention. Obama’s win was simply a matter of people acquainting themselves with him and falling under his baraka, blessings in Arabic.
On March 4th, Obama broke my heart. I thought of him as I thought of myself once; if someone got to know me and what I was about, he would not turn away. I was wrong on both accounts. Like a jilted lover I saw the illusion of destiny vaporized before my eyes.
I wanted so badly to believe and so I did but I forgot that I am not a believer but naturally a skeptic. I don’t believe in the prophets before Obama and I don’t believe in his prophecy. And so I will still support him, not as a Godsend but as the human that he is. He gets my vote because he understands that the war in Iraq is why our economy is on its knees, our health is poor and our infrastructure is crumbling. He gets my vote because in a field of presidential contenders whose byline reads “complicit in Bush’s war,” his reads, “I don’t oppose all Wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war.”
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Not to be outdone in the Kuffiyah-spotting contest, yes it could determine the next President, Republican candidate John McCain is now trotting his daughter around in a purple kuffiyah (see the above picture, which "she" -- not "they" -- posted on "her" -- not the "campaign's" blog).
Is it a coincidence that this we found this picture only minutes after exposing an Obama supporter's Islamofashionism (see below)?
This seems to be a slick move on the McCain campaign's part to win the Palestinian/angry left's votes. Is he seeking the highly touted KABOBendorsement, which is worth at least 1/20th a superdelegate in terms of electoral influence?
By using his daughter, he also keeps a safe distance from potential controversy from all the right-wing hams he's been carefully courting. Very slick, my friend, very slick. Can we be the first to give him the moniker "Slick Johnny"? (how original, I know)
[tarboush tip: Jonah and Michal]
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| Barack Ibn Hussein Osama | 60 (45%) |
| Billary/Psycho Clinton | 10 (7%) |
| Crazy Old Man McCain | 10 (7%) |
| Ron "Sean" Paul | 9 (6%) |
| Chuck Norris | 11 (8%) |
| Ralph "the Spoiler' Nader | 31 (23%) |
Our first KABOBpoll ended today with these results. They predict a victory for Obama with Nader coming in second place, and Chuck Norris in a distant third. These results show that KABOBfest readers are freedom-hating Islamophiles, in case you were wondering. Go HUSSEIN Barack HUSSEIN Obama HUSSEIN in 2008!
Now if he would only distance himself from KABOBfest publicly. We would get so many hits! Just imagine...
Have Your Say ... See the latest poll in the side column.
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Psycho televangelist John Hagee wants to bomb Iran and expel the Palestinians from their homes to protect Israel so he can prepare for rapture, convert all Jews to Christianity and slaughter those who don’t, thinks the catholic church is a great whore, hurricane Katrina was retribution for a gay parade in New Orleans, thinks that women with PMS are like terrorists except that you can’t negotiate with them, and wanted to hold a slave auction as a school fundraiser. His latest great idea, endorse John McCain for president; he apparently thinks the “Straight Talk Express” is anti-gay fast speech.
McCain said “This man supports me and what I believes in” but then he said, “When he endorses me, that does not mean that I endorse everything that he stands for and believes in.”
Now that’s the straight talk that fucks you, even if you are not gay.
Take that Obama. He got suckered into denouncing Louis Farrakhan’s endorsement of him. But it was hard not to since he nearly got lynched by the pundits in the few minutes it took him to come out with the rejection and denunciation.
Is it wrong? But I feel somewhat left out that Hagee’s hatred of Catholics is getting more media attention that his hatred of Arabs and Muslims, especially Palestinians. It’s giving me the funny feeling that may be hatred towards the latters is not as…wrong. But may be I’m just being overly sensitive.
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