I am writing this only because our comments section is being filled with publicity for a pointless blog set up by a disgraced former KABOBer, Buydatti. Now, he is blogging under the name, "Programmer Buydatti," (the "programmer" moniker he stole from a Zionut commenter on this site -- showing where his new allegiance is).
He set up a blog, KABOBfestWATCH to apparently attack and ridicule KABOBfest. Clearly, this is a laughable mockery that only demonstrates why we released him in the first place: he is a juvenile, pestering wackjob.
He invented some elaborate story, or rather, conspiracy theory, about why he got kicked out. It is pure fiction as I make clear in the comments section of his post. I want to clarify this without him dragging in the other KABOBers (so they can continue posting). His attacks have hurt a number of them.
While I am flattered that we deserve to be "watched" -- an honor usually reserved for people with a vast readership -- Programmer Buydatti is clearly off the deep-end and approaching, in my book, collaborator status. Already, he has proven to be just one more KABOB3rs -- an oppositional rascal commenting away in our comments sections.
He is clearly not working for any cause other than pure vindication, and has only destructive, petty ends in sight.
He is clearly clever and very creative, which is why I originally invited him on, but those same positive traits are now being used to no good end. It is best you, our readers, ignore him. And we will continue grilling the absurd.
Monday, March 03, 2008
RE-POST: Ignore KABOBfestWATCH!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Awkwardness in Arabic Class III
Yes, the insanity continues ~
Don't forget to read Awkwardness in Arabic Class I & II. Have interesting tales from Arabic class? E-mail them to KABOBfest.At this stage in the game, our professor adamantly believes that we should all be able to recognize every letter of the Arabic alphabet in initial, medial, and end position. Unfortunately, not everyone is doing their homework & so many are still saying "zaa" for "raa" and "yaa" for "taa." This has left our professor very frustrated - so much so that he's decided to move onto vocabulary words whether we're ready for them or not.
Last night we were assigned our first set of vocabulary words - thirteen "household items" in all. After spending an hour sounding out every syllable out loud and in slow motion, our professor suddenly declared: "Stop saying 'khaa' for 'jaa' - if you cannot recognize the letters by now, then studying language is not for you!"
This was the most perturbed I've seen him in all six weeks of class. In fact, he was so annoyed that he decided: "Now I am going to tell you a word and you must spell it in super lightening speed. There is no excuse for being slow! For example, when I say tilfaz, you say ta - lam - fa - alif - zan."
In a last-ditch effort to increase our spelling speed, he decided to tailor stories for each student that would encourage him or her to spit out the correct letters quickly. Below are the three most interesting stories:
Molly: the American soldier
Teacher: Listen to me Molly. Imagine that you are in Iraq and you are confronted by Iraqi children you want to shoot down with a machine gun because you are violent. POW! POW! POW! POW! This is is how fast I want you spell the word hatif.
Molly: Ha... um... eeh?... ta... if.
Teacher: Sorry, you were only able to kill a few.
Jeffrey: the Jewish kid
Teacher: Ok Jeffrey. You are my favorite. Imagine that you... let me think... ok, you are chasing after a Palestinian family. You want to destroy their lives fast, so you shoot the mother, kick the baby, and bulldoze the house. Really fast, like 1 - 2 - 3! Kill them! Spell kalam - Go!
Jeffrey: (laughing) ka - lam - meem
Teacher: Congratulations you are a murderer
Me: the lone Arab
Teacher: Ok we all know that you are Palestinian. I want you to imagine that an Israeli like Jeffrey is coming to steel your grandfather's house...
Me: They already did.
Teacher: Oh. Ok, imagine that an Israeli like Jeffrey is coming to steel your grandfather's orchard...
Me: They did that too.
Teacher: Ok then, imagine that Jeffrey is chasing you with a gun and you need to runaway with your life. Spell the following word very fast: Hasoob!
Me: ha - alif - seen - wow - ba
Teacher: Perfect! You are safe and alive... for now.
Jeffrey didn't make eye contact with me for the rest of the class.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Hamas Unleashes Jew-Eating Rabbits
Fear me, for I eat rabbits and rabbits eat Jews. That must make me super anti-Semitic, right?
Actually, I don't have a problem with the video's overall message -- given the context of the rabbit's speech, there's nothing inherently anti-Semitic about it. After all, we can't hold Palestinian bunnies accountable for not delineating between Zionists and Jews when Israel describes itself as a Jewish state.
Still, I don't think this is a suitable program for children to be watching. Kid's shows should help develop their imaginations, knowledge, and aspirations -- not reflect how grim life really is. Even if they are living in the OPT.
[Tarboush Tip: Muna]
Introducing Birthright Palestine
Ok, so they won't fly you to Palestine for free, but it still sounds like a worthwhile program: Birthright Palestine.
A project of the Palestine Center for National Strategic Studies, Birthright Palestine "is meant to gather first generation, western‐born Palestinians (over the age of 18‐years old) in their ancestral homeland, so that they can reunite and witness firsthand how their brethren are living under illegal Israeli military occupation."
The program is made‐up of four major components, education, tourism, hospitality, and volunteering, and was created to maintain Palestinian unity on an international level and to make foreign‐born Palestinians feel at home in their homeland.As a Diaspora Palestinian myself, whose felt "out of place" (Oooh, did ya get the reference?) here and in my ancestral homeland, the program appeals.
According to their website, Birthright Palestine aims to assimilate Diaspora Palestinians into Palestinian society through cultural immersion. During the program's duration (anywhere between 1 to 3 months), participants will live with a host family, learn Arabic (yes you can get college credit), and intern at a local NGO. Participants will also attend weekly trips throughout the West Bank and take part in numerous activities -- including film screenings, cultural events, speeches, workshops, informative classes, special-issue debates, etc.
Though the program focuses on Diaspora Palestinians, anyone of Arab descent is welcome. Not including airfare, it'll cost $2,900 to participate for three months (cheaper for those staying less).
Given that this year marks the 60th anniversary of al-Nakbeh, it's quite fitting that the program launches this summer. At the risk of sounding like an infomercial (If I haven't already), sign up today! TODAY! TODAY!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Awkwardness in Arabic Class II
Remember when Will posted Awkwardness in Arabic Class -- a KABOBfriend's account of his first day in Arabic class? Well here's his most recent submission, and it's even more hilarious than the last...
So I told you about my Arabic class and my crazy Egyptian teacher, right? Well get this...Have interesting tales from Arabic class? E-mail them to KABOBfest.
At our last class he totally laughed at a girl who just found out she's being deployed to Iraq. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he followed it up with something to the effect of, "I bet they lured you into signing onto the Army with a free toaster, huh? Well good. It's fitting. Because now the Iraqis will make you toast!"
Then, after some white girl's inability to pronounce the "ghaaaaa" sound annoyed him, he instructed the class: "To practice ghaaaaaaaaaa by making pretend that you are being waterboarded by American occupation forces. It sounds exactly the same!"
THEN! During a class exercise in which we were repeating after him the names of Arab countries and their capitals, he totally bitched out this Jewish kid:
Teacher: Fa-la-steen
Class: Fa-la-steen
Teacher: Just joking. There's obviously no such thing as Fa-la-steen, because that's Arabic for Palestine.
Me: Actually, there is such thing as Palestine.
Teacher: No. Show it to me on a map? It doesn't exist any more, right Jeffrey? (the Jewish kid)
Jeffrey: No it doesn't.
Teacher: And why is that Jeffrey? Because you destroyed it for us, right Jeffrey?
Jeffrey: (laughing) Yeah, I guess we did.
Teacher: That's what I thought. Now repeat after me Jeffrey - the capital of Fa-la-steen is Al-quds.
Jeffrey: Al-quds.
This class is fucking hilarious! I have no idea why no one's complained yet. If I was a honkie, I'd totally rat his ass out... but for now, shit it's all laughs for me.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Like Seriously, Thank God for America
While driving home from work today, I heard a really inspirational story on NPR’s "All Things Considered" about a U.S. marine whose dying wish was to have two dogs he found in Baghdad transported to America for his family to care for. Long story short, his grieving family fought against all odds to realize his dream and in the end succeeded. Today, Mumma and Renold (I think that was their names) reside in a cookie cutter suburban town somewhere in the good ol’ U.S. of A.
Feel warm inside? Really, you don’t? Ok you heartless bastard, how about this…
Last Thursday, on Valentine’s Day, the SPCA International Baghdad Program (yes, there is such a thing) brought Charlie, a border collie mix, to the U.S after Watson, the active-duty soldier who found him in Iraq, couldn’t bare to give him up. According to Watson, “It’s probably going to be a real shock for him to see such beauty and great monuments after knowing nothing but the slums of Baghdad.” Charlie is currently on route from DC to Phoenix.
Isn’t that cute? I think so! Especially since this is what the doggies really want…
Just ask Nubbs. He currently lives in San Diego. An Iraqi by birth, he was transported to the U.S. after Major Brian Dennis rescued him in the Al Anbar province of Iraq. After finding Nubbs and nursing him back to health, Dennis was dispatched to a military outpost 70 miles away from where Nubbs resided. Nubbs, however, loved Dennis so much that he tracked him across the desert. Though Dennis couldn’t keep him, he was touched enough to arrange for the pup to be transported to the United States (via the "No Buddy Left Behind" initiative). A reunion is currently in the works for the Ellen Degeneres show.
And it doesn’t end there folks….
Eleven other dogs and two cats adopted by service members in Iraq or Afghanistan are in the pipeline for rescue, said Stephanie Scroggs, a spokeswoman for SPCA International. The SPCA will pay about $4,000 per rescue, Scroggs said. She acknowledged that the sum could aid many more stateside animals but said the program also supports the troops. [Washington Post]In fact, Liberty and K-Pot are scheduled to arrive in the United States tomorrow. I can't wait!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Oldest Woman Alive: A Palestinian
Someone record this lady's oral history now...
Mariam Amash, a Palestinian citizen of Israel, recently completed an application to be granted a re-issue of her lost identity card. In it, she cited her year of birth as 1888 -- making her 120 years old. According to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest living person in the world is Edna Parker of the US. Parker is "only" 114 years-old, which makes her much younger than the Israeli super-centenarian who will soon celebrate her 120th birthday. (Ynet)
A resident of the village of Jisr az-Zarka, Amash reportedly has "10 sons, one daughter, about 120 grandchildren, 250 great-grandchildren and 20 great-great grandchildren." Other than some hearing problems, she appears to be in good health.
"She is a healthy, active woman. She walks each day and makes sure she drinks at least one glass of olive oil," said Hamda Amash, Mariam Amash's granddaughter-in-law." People like to come to her house. She talks to us about the old days. She knows the history since the Turkish times." (China View)
Though Guinness has yet to confirm her date of birth, Ottoman records state that she is, in fact, 120 years old.
Israel's Interior Ministry tells the wire service that her birth year is listed as 1888 in its records, based on a certificate issued by the Turkish authorities who ruled the area at the end of the 19th century. "We're just not sure it's correct," spokeswoman Sabine Haddad tells AP. (USA Today)Still, there's no way of knowing for sure. "The woman was born during the Ottoman period, a time when the population registry was very inaccurate. It is quite possible that she is younger than reported, or even older," explains the head of the Interior Ministry branch where Amash completed the application.
[Oh yes... I write for KABOBfest now. Glad to be here!]
