I'll do it.
Showing posts with label captions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label captions. Show all posts
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Just Like You
Look, I'm drinking a shot of whiskey, I'm just like you! I mean, you drink whiskey, right? I'm totally just like you. That means you are a serial liar... err, i mean, serial misspeaker... stuck in a loveless marriage with a fatty, you have an annual joint income in the 10s of millions, and of course, you - too - wont be President any time soon.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Hypocrite
For weeks I've been trying to convince you that Obama wants to disenfranchise the voters of Michigan and Florida because he's agreeing to comply with the DNC's rules and decisions. I, on the other hand, want to disenfranchise everybody in every state that voted in any primary or caucus. That's right, fuck the voters, fuck democracy and the democratic process, fuck Hussein and the Muslims, fuck Bill Richardson and the irrelevant Latinos, fuck the truth, fuck the Democratic Party, and most of all, FUCK YOU AMERICA!
Liar
Are you all really that surprised that I'm resorting to outright lies? I mean, I stuck with tubs after all these years; obviously I'd say or do anything to be President. Negative and dirty campaigning, lying, scaring up votes, ANYTHING. So vote for me, the only Democratic candidate who loves her country.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Republican
If I'm really lucky, I may win two more Democratic contests. But I'm going to stick to it through the end, bashing Hussein OsamaObama all the way through because I care more about myself than the Party or the country. You're welcome McCain and RNC. As a footnote, Hussein OsamaObama is not a Muslim... AS FAR AS I KNOW. As far as I know, though, he could very well be a Muslim, and the media is clearly biased for not exploring that. As far as I know, I'm not a racist, because Muslim is a religion, not a race (kind of like hating Jews isn't racist). I am a bigot. Get it right.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Drunk
DAMMIT, my beers cups is empty. Whars Bill. BILL! YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT, WHERE ARE YOU! GET ME MORE BEER, BITCH! Anyways, like il was sayin, Husein Osama is jusat hurtin me the party by not concaeding already. By theway, havea you seen this guy? Danson, Comm eer, man I LOAVE THIS GUY... I llloooooooove this guy! Donat know this chicka he's with, but makn I loves this guy. Anyway, I was spayin... shit what was I psayin? I want to be presaidant! sooo bad! look ims durking beer from a red cup, see thee votars in ohiho and tixas cayn relayt to mee now. loook at me. wait waits wait, whol's ring tone is that, OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS ASONG! This is songa is the BESTS, I swear irts about me, de dee deee de dee... DONNAT PICK UP YOUR FONE, let it play, LET IT PLAY OUT, dee deee superman dat hoooo de deee. BILL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU! GET OVER HERE! NOW! bitch.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Now There, Dont Raise a Finger at Me, I Know You're Obedient...
"I promise I will be a good boy and break the legs of any peace-hating (read: anti-Zionist) Palestinian that tries to leave Gaza....now please give me more money for my retirement fund - oh whoops, I forgot that I will never retire."
While Gaza gets more messed up than mulukhiyya, these two are going to shake hands and lick each other, while toasting to the Israelis finishing off the resistance as soon as possible.
People are going to gather on Tuesday at noon in front of the Lawyers' Syndicate in Downtown Cairo to express their varied and multifaceted emotions around this.
Friday, February 29, 2008
How Would She Like It If...
Hillary Abdul-Rodham (A.R.) Clinton (هيلاري عبد الرودهام كلينتون) wears her native clothing - the clothing of her country of Islamostan, where she attended many madrassas and began her love affair with Dunkin' Donuts (the only Western franchise - with KFC - that remained in her native Islamostan through various wars).
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Whiner
It's not fair! The media is biased against me, they wont help me convince the American public that Hussein Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate, and probably related to Saddam. I'm cold. My feet hurt. I'm hungry... Abedin get me some Dunkin' Donuts - with sprinkles - NOW! Bill's always trying to touch me... ewwwwwwwwww. John Lewis betrayed me. People don't like me. It's not fair!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Delusional
Alright folks, we've almost got this thing wrapped up. According to a recent poll by my authoritative source of information (Saturday Night Live), voters are really rallying to us. I predict I'll win it sometime in the next few days. Americans don't want a candidate - named HUSSEIN - that's going to blow all of his campaign money on TV ads, literature, and the like. That's why I take your donations, and invest wisely in donuts for Bill. Not that Krispy Kreme crap either... Dunkin' Donuts because I'm a smart investor. My favorites are the ones with sprinkles. I like sprinkles. Anyway, you're welcome.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Preview of Tonight's Debate
Ever wonder what's going through Clinton's head when she gives Obama her patented crazy face stare at the debates (usually while Obama is speaking)? Well, using new-age neuroscience technologies, I've determined with 99.6% accuracy precisely what she is thinking:
Maybe if I stare at him long enough I can control his thoughts. Come onnnn, fuck up, fuck up, please fuck up, fuck uuuuuup NOW! Ok... NOW! Alright alright, for real this time, fuck uuuuuuuuup NOW! Damn you Hussein.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Desperate
Shame on you HUSSEIN! Shame on you for discussing my support for NAFTA and my plan that requires everybody to buy healthcare. Shame on you HUSSEIN for this dirty campaigning that discusses the issues HUSSEIN. Is this what you learned at the Madrassas that you attended when you lived in Islamostan, HUSSEIN?
Friday, February 22, 2008
Loser
Bill you cheated on me with all those fat bitches and promised me that one day I would be president if I stood by you and now I am losing to this Hussein guy! Fuck you Bill!
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