Your Voice Counts: Vote in a New Blogger

So, normally new posters here at KF are kind of voted in by the current roster of posters -- we are an emerging democracy ourselves -- but this time we will open it up a little. This time KABOBfest commentators have a chance to vote on a new, proposed poster.

I received an e-mail application one "Paul Ruben" -- no not that one -- who claims to specialize in "Profitable Internet Marketing." Yes, I am a little suspicious that his e-mail was sent from an address with the name "Megan" in it, yet was signed by "Paul Robinette." Then again, it is not like we always get our names straight here.

He offered to help us with content writing, programming, and linking -- our current top three weak spots. He also says he can deliver KF 5 times as much traffic and get Google to give us a better web presence. I say we give him a shot. BUt this time, the readers will decide. Vote in the comments section, and please do not vote as "anonymous," since Paul Ruben/Megan/Paul Robinette could easily hijack this election (which would indeed make him an honorary Arab).

From: Paul Ruben
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 1:57:05 AM
Subject: Suggestion Re: kabobfest.com

Dear Website Owner,

If we could create 5 times the relevant traffic to your website wouldn’t you be interested? What if we could substantially reduce your pay per click spend as well?

We get top rankings for our clients on Google.

We are one of the leading SEO companies in the world. Our prices are much less than other firms. We have wonderful references.

We Specialize in:

1. Onsite Programming

2. Content Writing

3. Relevant Linking

Please call or email me and I’ll be happy to send you a proposal and a flash presentation explaining our methodology.

Sincerely,

Paul Robinette
VP Sales
National Positions
26500 W. Agoura Road
Suite 102-547
Calabasas, California 91302

You decide if we should invite him on.

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Day 4 of the Largest Prison Break in History

Egypt has been proved to be completely powerless against the flow of Palestinians out of Gaza now. With the United States absolutely shocked and disturbed at the way Palestinians have been disregarding international borders in breaking the suffocating siege imposed on them, and both Israel and Abbashole getting their panties in a bunch now that Hamas isn’t quite so isolated, Egypt moved in to seal off the border yesterday. At around 1:30 in the afternoon, the Egyptian authorities announced that they had closed the border to those leaving Gaza, and put up chain link fences and barbed wire where the wall had been. I think they succeeded for a total of three and a half minutes before a bulldozer came by and tore that shit up again.

Again today, the Egyptians tried in vain to block the entry of Palestinians. In response, Palestinians started actually driving over in their own cars now.

Interesting in all of this is Hamas’ role, which has been to sit back and let things happen. And quite possibly laugh at everyone. It’s obvious that it is their people who keep opening the border, but their presence has been very low key. Electricity is still out in many parts of Gaza, but at least fuel (and some medicine) is getting in. Supply trucks with Egyptian license plates where seen as far north as Gaza City bringing in building materials and other necessities.

Meantime, Mubarak called Hamas and Fatah to a dialogue in Egypt. Abbasshole replied by saying that…oh who cares what he says anymore, but basically he said no, and that he is going to meet Olmert on Sunday to discuss taking over the Rafah crossing. Dickhead.

Amongst the things revealed by the historic events of the last week is just how irrelevant Abbasshole, Fayyad and their thugs are. Nobody but Israel and the US mentions them, in the Arab world they’re seen as traitors who have declared war on their own people, and even here in Ramallah, the majority of people are wondering aloud why the PA is so uncomfortable by Gaza’s people breaking the siege imposed on them.

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Funniest comment today if it had been meant satirically

Today at a checkpoint between Nablus and Jericho (both Palestinian areas, mind you), I got out along with all the Palestinian passengers to walk through a metal detector and show ID and then stand in the sun waiting for our cab to get through the long line of vehicles waiting on the road in the middle-of-nowhere West Bank.

A soldier was shouting rudely in Hebrew and bad Arabic, from behind glass and under a roof, for us to stand and wait (even though no one was ahead of us). Being ejaculated at rudely (JK Rowling used it so I will too) is routine, of course, and no one reacted, just stood around patiently in the sun and dust.

Then he barked 'Come here' in Arabic. So, the woman i was riding with and I approached.

"Is this your mother?"
"No."
"Oh you are American?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing there?"
"Visiting friends."
"Oh, ok."

And then, as I walk away, "You know it's dangerous..."

I laughed. I actually laughed.

WHO makes going to the northern West Bank dangerous? The people who are from the villages and consider you a guest?? Never once have I felt endangered by Palestinians in the West Bank (except for a driver who was trying to make the car fly over hills trying to get to Ramallah faster). The danger is from you and you alone. Your gun trained on us from your watch tower, your country's occupation, assassinations and indiscriminate killing are the threat. And I wonder if you know exactly that, and would rather remove me from your killing zone because my blood is somehow endowed with more value in your eyes by my passport.

If this were a cartoon, it would have five frames showing Israeli soldiers breaking into and looting homes, shooting children in the head, breaking arms for throwing stones, sending rockets into homes where entire families are sleeping and such. In the last frame, they would tell a western tourist, "you know it's dangerous there..."

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Dickheads of the Year 2007

There’s an interesting little competition going on at the Gaza-Egypt border, with three competitors (the Egyptian government, Israel and Abbasshole and Co.) in a tense, last-minute struggle for the title of 2007’s Dickheads of the Year (DOTY).

With the Rafah crossing (the only border crossing available to most Gazan’s) closed since June, there were legitimate fears that Gaza’s Hajj pilgrims would be denied the chance to take part in this sacred rite. Abbasshole immediately sensed the opportunity to impress the judges presiding over DOTY (aka the US Congress) by claiming that Hamas does not want the pilgrims to get to Mecca. Doesn’t matter if that shit doesn’t make sense, it’s all game here. Abbasshole and Israel then conspired to bring the issue to a level of spitefulness not seen since Mohammad Dahlan was in highschool, by giving a number of Fatah supporters the chance to travel through the Erez crossing from Gaza, into Israel, onto the West Bank, then Jordan and finally Saudi Arabia. Everybody else had to stay home.

Gleefully and shamelessly masquerading their little deal, Abbasshole and Co. felt confident that they were only a few more weeks of strangling their own people away from toppling Hamas. But then Egypt decided to get all up in that mess, allowing the rest of Gaza’s pilgrims to leave through Rafah in a one-off act of compassion. Also, a one-off bigass fuck you to Abbasshole. Props to Om il Donya.

Israel, which would like to remind you that it Left Gaza Two Years Ago©, was obviously not very happy. Why should Palestinians leave from Gaza into another country and not be subjugated to Israeli control? How utterly offensive. So they took shit down to levels not seen since Avigdor Lieberman was in 7^th grade in Moldova, and upped the pressure on the US Congress to withhold aid to Egypt until it lets Israel search and interrogate people that would be crossing between Egypt and Gaza. Again, Israel would like to remind you it Left Gaza Two Years Ago©.

For those of you who appreciate clean competition, this twist is rather vulgar. The judges are, mother of shockers, biased! And the losers are the Palestinians pilgrims. Back to the story.

The pilgrims who left through Erez were allowed back into Gaza yesterday. Israel couldn’t resist a last shot at the title, by opening machine gun fire at the returning pilgrims as they awaited inspection. Khaldiyya Hamdan, 55, was murdered, raising the stakes exponentially. Egypt, however, was not to be outdone. Announcing that the pilgrims would not be allowed to go home through Rafah, the authorities dumped them at makeshift camps in Alareesh, where several Palestinians have died already in the past year waiting to go home. The pilgrims at first refused to get down from their buses, and then threatened to violently resist being forced to go through Israel. The reality, however, is that most of the pilgrims are elderly or ill. This afternoon, Khadra Sa'd, 67, passed away at a nearby hospital after her medical situation deteriorated in the camp.

There are mere hours left till the deadline passes and the winner of Dickheads of the Year 2007 is announced. I really hope the Egyptians display the courage they did in allowing the pilgrims to leave through Rafah by allowing them to go home safely, en route to permanently opening the border, whose closure has contributed to the suffocating humanitarian situation in Gaza. As for the other two contestants, Israel is Israel. And Abbasshole? He can’t go to hell soon enough.

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