a billboard erected by the state in Tahrir square (downtown cairo) after the april 6th strike, saying "a youth that loves egypt...the serious youth is one that builds, not destroys". yeah, thanks for that patronizing advice.
Meanwhile...from a shop window nearby, a sign saying: salesperson (female) wanted, with previous experience and good looks(!) Can anyone say something obtusely profound about the deep epistemological connection between these two signs that are oh so close to each other?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Youth and Good Looks
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KABOBegories: Egypt, photography, randomness, sunbula
Thursday, March 27, 2008
For Nerds Only - Arabic Scrabble

I couldn't help but wonder...
More images here.
I dare someone, anyone, to join the wordgame programmers listserv.
Tarboush Tip: Kabobfriend Sarah
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KABOBegories: Arabic, fun, pop culture, randomness, scrabble, sunbula
Monday, March 10, 2008
Great Prophets on Drugs
An Israeli researcher made international waves after finding that Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he transcribed God's Ten Commandments directly from the great being itself.
That prophets can have world-changing revelations while doped up is not news to us at KABOBfest. Our own personality cult leader, the mysterious Nabeel, shared a recent drug-induced epiphany. As his loyal subject, it is my duty to proselytize his divine message.
He took this picture of Obama street art in San Francisco, and analogized it to Orwell's 1984, saying it is like "OBEY." "OBEYMA" anyone?
Now that I have spread our master's word, we only have to figure whether we are to obey Obama or not.
[tarboush tip: Muhammad and His Holiness, Nabeel]
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KABOBegories: 2008 elections, inside jokes, Nabeel, randomness, satire, Will
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Doritos Recognizes Palestine!?!
I found my bag of Doritos the other night and while I was trying to get all those Doritos fragments, I guess I got tired so I crumbled the bag up and thats when I saw the word "Palestine" of all things. The back of the bag recognizes Palestine and this Palestinian-American kid. I've attached a picture as evidence, I dunno if you guys spotted this yet but I thought I'd share. For a bag of chips to recognize my country speaks volumes to me.As a not, Daniel Zoughbie, who is the Palestinian-American profiled on the bag, put together an amazing micro-clinic project that empowers communities to care for themselves in basic, but life-saving ways.
- wally d.
Wally, was it Cool Ranch (my favorite)?
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KABOBegories: guest posts, palestine, randomness, Will
Friday, February 29, 2008
How Much Do You Really Know About Those "Arabs" Who Ran Away From Israel in 1948?
So far, 3 of us KABOBers (Will, Mohammad and myself) took this quiz and none of us passed. Our madrassaaaaaah education has failed us, that's why they kicked us out into the infidel world of secular education.
If you take it report your scores in the comments section. And do not Google any of the questions during the quiz or you will rot in hell for eternity!
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KABOBegories: israel, Mohammad, palestine, randomness, sunbula, Will
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
KABOBnews: New KABOBers and Removing Buydatti
There are some recent personnel changes here at KABOBfest that I want to report.
First of all, we added two new freedom-hating terrorist sympathizers to our menu. Please welcome:
sunbula and Sama
We will be working on short bios for them for the About Us page. But, in the mean time know this:
sunbula is studying Arabic literature at a madrasa in Cairo. This self-described "genderqueer manyak" was active with ISM, lived in Palestine briefly, and enjoys "poking fun at religion, smoking sheesha, making dirty jokes in arabic, and reading classical arabic poetry that sings how great it is to drink liquor when it is poured by smooth, hairless beautiful boys."
Sama is a truly "southern Arab" hailing from the Bible belt of the United States and Khartoum, Sudan. Born in Germany and educated in madrassas in Sudan and Saudi, Sama is currently doing a doctorate in HIV research in the beautiful yet slightly soulless city of Angels.
Ahlan sunbula and Sama!
Finally, due to my mother's extreme displeasure at a post last week by Buydatti, "The Little Sharmoota?," I have no choice but to ask him to leave, actually we are telling him to leave. It is not pleasant to get rid of Buydatti, and the separation has been painful for all of us, but we had, let's just say, "creative differences" about the future of KABOBfest.
I am sure Buydatti would make a wonderful blogger elsewhere, so if you have a blog, feel free to invite him. From now on, KABOBfest is a Buydatti-free zone.
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KABOBegories: randomness, Will
Saddam #2
The Egyptian (relatively) independent newspaper Al-Masry Al-Youm (The Egyptian Today) has a variety piece on an Alexandrian by the name of Mohammed Bashar, 58 who happens to be a "screaming lookalike" (shabah saarikh) of Saddam Husain. Many a time has he walked down the street and people stare at him, then ask God to have mercy on his soul. In addition people have started to call him Abu Oday and Qusay (Saddam's two sons).
This fame, however, has resulted to him being chased by the "mafia of Saddam autobiographies and its brokers" who will just not leave him alone. A director had offered him the sum of money of his choice to act in a film about his lookalike, however after his initial acceptance he pulled out when he found that the film wanted to distort the sex life of the dear departed president.
Apparently this screaming resemblance did not kick in until he hit his fifties (and the American occupation of Iraq) and resulted in him being chased by Gulfies to be photographed together with Saddam.
And his wife's response to all of his: "Better that he resembles Saddam and not Bush, or he would be beaten up in the street!"
Speaking of which, does anyone have a link to the story of the Iraqi who resembled Bush? He seemed to be having an OK time of it.
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KABOBegories: Egypt, iraq, media, photography, randomness, sunbula, the Arab Street
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Logic of Liking Stuff White People Like
The hottest new site on the internet since two girls and a cup -- which starred Budatti's Mom -- is a list of stereotypically white objects of affection.
Since this e-mails lauding this site began landing in my Inbox with more frequency than uninvited cialis ads, I took time to analyze it myself in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.
However, the website has caused a major existential identity crisis among the lighter shaded Arab-Americans, especially. One of our bloggers wrote on our list serve:
Everything on this site applies to me. I love music that you can't dance too and it's all about death and senseless crap. I guess rightfully so too -- as I've never identified as anything other than white and Palestinian. To me, they're not mutually exclusive... cause i'm definitely not brown.However, for those straddling the white/non-white delineation whose comfortable ambiguity has been shaken by seeing stuff they like on this list, I want to remind them of the basic logic of their fears. To assume that liking what is listed on the blog is to commit a classic logical fallacy: Affirmation of the consequent.
This fallacy is an argument of the form "A implies B, B is true, therefore A is true."
So, the website argues:
If White --> Like X
However, Like X does not necessarily --> White. To assume it does is to commit this logical fallacy.
So there, go ahead and enjoy the wonders of natural medicine, expensive sandwiches, and knowing what's best for poor people. It doesn't make you white.
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KABOBegories: KABOBsnark, randomness, Will
Monday, February 18, 2008
Your Voice Counts: Vote in a New Blogger
So, normally new posters here at KF are kind of voted in by the current roster of posters -- we are an emerging democracy ourselves -- but this time we will open it up a little. This time KABOBfest commentators have a chance to vote on a new, proposed poster.
I received an e-mail application one "Paul Ruben" -- no not that one -- who claims to specialize in "Profitable Internet Marketing." Yes, I am a little suspicious that his e-mail was sent from an address with the name "Megan" in it, yet was signed by "Paul Robinette." Then again, it is not like we always get our names straight here.
He offered to help us with content writing, programming, and linking -- our current top three weak spots. He also says he can deliver KF 5 times as much traffic and get Google to give us a better web presence. I say we give him a shot. BUt this time, the readers will decide. Vote in the comments section, and please do not vote as "anonymous," since Paul Ruben/Megan/Paul Robinette could easily hijack this election (which would indeed make him an honorary Arab).
From: Paul RubenYou decide if we should invite him on.
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 1:57:05 AM
Subject: Suggestion Re: kabobfest.com
Dear Website Owner,
If we could create 5 times the relevant traffic to your website wouldn’t you be interested? What if we could substantially reduce your pay per click spend as well?
We get top rankings for our clients on Google.
We are one of the leading SEO companies in the world. Our prices are much less than other firms. We have wonderful references.
We Specialize in:
1. Onsite Programming
2. Content Writing
3. Relevant Linking
Please call or email me and I’ll be happy to send you a proposal and a flash presentation explaining our methodology.
Sincerely,
Paul Robinette
VP Sales
National Positions
26500 W. Agoura Road
Suite 102-547
Calabasas, California 91302
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KABOBegories: dickheads, inside jokes, KABOBsnark, randomness, satire, Will
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Proof the Internet is Racist
So, someone sets up a blog about things white people like one month ago, and already it is getting more hits than our blog, which is basically about what Arabs like. It just lists anti-white stereotypes such as their supposed affinity for natural medicine (which the Arabs invented), recycling, and coed sports.
Here at KABOBfest, we have been profiling what Arabs like (hating Israel, women, and your freedom) and what we do not (Israel, women, and your freedom) for years, yet they get more hits. It's fucking racist, man!!!! Damn this internet(s)!
On a more serious note, I like the 'Stuff White People Like' website, but it it is very classist. So far, it has only represented middle class and up affinities. What about the millions of working class and poor whites who get off on monster truck racing and motor sports, country music, and those hillbilly comedians. Also, what about non-American whites, like European and Australian crackers? Or Israeli Ashkenazis like Ehud Olmert? He likes Apartheid. That should make the list.
Anyways, kudos to that website. Please link us: White people like KABOBfest. That is why they always follow us wearing suits and dark sunglasses, and in their Chevy Caprices.
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KABOBegories: KABOBsnark, racism, randomness, satire, Will
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Focus on Pre-History, I Guess
Do not ask me why, but I was browsing job announcements at H-Net. OK, it was to avoid my current work. But, randomness is keeping me sane tonight.
I came across a fellowship posting at the University of Chicago:
Postdoc Fellowship in Digital History.Emphasis added on the ironic line. A fellowship to study the impact of digitization on research and digital media will accept take paper applications.
The Department of History at the University of Chicago seeks applications and nominations for a two-year residential Mellon Postdoctoral Fellowship in digital history, beginning fall 2008 . The successful candidate will be expected to research how the proliferation of digital possibilities is changing the culture of historical inquiry and pedagogy. Areas of interest may include, for example, the provision of databases and search techniques (as in Google-type scanning projects), the use of digital media to convey aspects of cultural knowledge beyond the capability of the printed page, or the implications of global networking for the circulation and credibility of historiographical claims among new audiences... Applications will be read as soon as they arrive. No electronic applications will be accepted. Please address all materials to: Mellon Postdoctoral Fellowship Search Committee, Dept of History, University of Chicago, 1126 East 59th Street, Chicago, IL 60637-1580. The University of Chicago is an AA/EOE
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KABOBegories: randomness, Will
Cut Undersea Cables Boost KABOBfest Hits
As counter-intuitive as this may sound, the recent cuts in now five, yes count them, five, underwater cables in the Middle East has led to an increase in KABOBfest hits. KABOBfest senior statistician Chaim Sugarman tracked a nearly 25% increase in daily hits since the cable cuts started mysteriously appearing, all within a week or so.
Given KABOBfest's appeal among American-hating Ay-rabs, such as those running Iran, one would expect hits to this hate-filled packet of binary code to fall. Not so.
While conspiracy theories abound, no one has yet pointed out that KABOBfest has gained the most from this. I am sure some of the Nutty-Buddies who express their anti-KABOBism in our comments regularly will agree with this.
I have my own serious conspiracy theory to toss into the fray. We are finally seeing the handiwork of the US Navy's cadre of anti-terrorism dolphins. As the Guardian reported in 2005:
It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.After they got loose, did they do the only thing they knew to do -- implement their mission?
US Military-trained Dolphins can sniff out excessive hair gel/cheap cologne and kunafa crumbs left in beards.
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KABOBegories: randomness, war on terror, Will
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Top Ten (Plus 2) Reasons Why Having Your Phone Stolen Doesn't Suck Too Much

Last Thursday night/early Friday morning, I learned the hard lesson that the dangerous cocktail of bartop dancing and a carefree attitude towards material possessions in a club don't mix too well.
During my "intoxicated" state of mind, as I was shimmying what "my momma gave me" to some Hakim, someone swiped my purse (with the contents of a cellphone, digital camera, IDs, credit card, and house keys) from the bar top I had placed it on.
But that's not the real story. The real story is adjusting to a life without a cellphone. And you know what? It really isn't that bad. And here are my "Top Ten plus 2" reasons why it doesn't suck that much:
1. No one more split second heart murmurs upon the suspicion that you lost or misplaced your phone.
2. Don't have to deal with lazy stalkers-the kind that blow up your phone with no responses for months, but all too lazy to follow you home in an unmarked car.
3. Shows you who really cares. No one has access to you by phone-and those who care enough will take more initiative to communicate with you in other ways.
4. You reclaim the lost art of memorizing numbers!
5. You don't have to worry about your phone's ring-tone of "What's Your Fantasy" going off in class, during a movie, or at meetings with your professor during office hours
6. You have a legitimate reason not to give your phone number out to someone who hollers at you-cause you don't have a working one to give!!!
7. You don't have to deal with people make judgments of your socio-economic background and status based on your cellphone selection.
8. You finally have a suitable answer for the annoying query of: "Why didn't you return my call?" How can I return something I never received in the first place!?!?!?!
9. An end to Text Messagitis!
10. One less thing to carry around.
11. You don't have to deal with your father's complaints about the inappropriateness of your voice message.
And Lastly:
12. You don't have to worry about anyone stealing your phone.
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KABOBegories: may's inRANTations, Maytha, randomness
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sarkozy Hates the Ticking
Ever see a French President walk off the set of '60 Minutes'? After a few annoying questions about rumors concerning his wife leaving him, the French right-winger Sarkozy takes out his earpiece and calls the interview a "stupid" and "big mistake."
His wife (the woman he is "American-kissing" in the picture) eventually left him, citing his inability to communicate without getting upset and walking away, his support for Bush and Israel, and the unnatural perfection of his hair.
She should know that KABOBer Fayyad -- who is a great communicator, save for spelling, hates Bush and Israel, and has naturally imperfect hair -- is single and looking.
Notice by the way, how the line about Paris "buzzing" with rumors was overlayed with a shot of two Parisians eating. One wonders what they really were talking about? What do French people talk about anyways?
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KABOBegories: europe, inside jokes, media, randomness, Will
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Official KABOBdorsement: Oriental Mix
Occasionally, KABOBfest will endorse a product or political cause for no commission or even an expression of gratitude from the manufacturer.
This time around, KABOBfest heartily expresses its consensusual appreciation for the tasty and exotic snack known as 'Oriental Mix.' The near-empty bag to the left is testimony to the wonderful bursts of flavor in the bag.
All KABOBtasters found it more interesting and ethnic than trail mix, the assortment of nuts, raisins and M & M's popular with earthy American liberals.
Oriental mix, with its foreign admixture consisting of strange cracker-like chunks, wasabi peas, and other seafood-resembling kernals, struck KABOBfest's taste team as the model snack, submissive, likeable, and mathematically superior (the ratio of the different pieces were precise, unlike the disproportions found in trail mix). It was a fine addition to our diverse snacking experience.
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KABOBegories: randomness, Will
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Halloween (Palestinian Style)
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KABOBegories: Fayyad, images, randomness, satire
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Speaking of look-alikes...
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KABOBegories: funny, images, Nadeem, randomness
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Fayyad’s Jewish Fatwa: Thou Shalt Be Smarter Than Thy Parents
Yes, I issue commandments, but don’t expect ten at a time, it’s not like they’re free. The latest generation of Jews, at least, seems to be heeding this divine directive. A new study shows that young American Jews distance themselves from Israel.
CHICAGO - Young U.S. non-Orthodox Jews are becoming increasingly lukewarm if not alienated in their support for Israel in a trend that is not likely to be reversed, according to a study released on Thursday.Of course the title of the article hypes up a far less significant finding. Statistically, a significant number still put their loyalties to Israel ahead of anything else. A conspiracy theorist that I ran into on the street said this was another attempt to claim the Israel Lobby does not exist, hid to the lobby’s body, so to say.
Blending into U.S. society, including marriage to non-Jews and a tendency to look on Judaism more in religious terms than ethnic ones, is part of what's happening, the study found.
U.S. support backed by a vocal and politically powerful Jewish lobby has been a key feature of the Jewish state's success since its founding in 1948, an event that is widely backed by U.S. Jews and non-Jews.
Apparently, young Jews find apartheid Israel indefensible, and see Israel of no special significance as they regard their Judaism as a religion and not an ethnicity (duh). They prefer to assimilate into their own societies. Maybe, they are also outraged by Israel’s most recent attack on America.
"What?" you ask.
The Israeli Acute Paralysis Virus is killing America’s honeybees by the billions. As I always said, Israelis just can’t stand the sweet things in life.
Scientists say they have a key suspect in the mysterious disappearance and death of honeybees vital for pollinating crops nationwide.I call it Beeacide.
It's called Israeli acute paralysis virus, and no one knew it was in the United States until it turned up in most of the affected beehives that were tested.
Researchers released their findings yesterday and published them this week in the journal Science. Billions of bees in Ohio and across the country have abandoned their hives and died. Scientists call it "colony collapse disorder."
I know, the article is from the Columbus Dispatch. To compensate for their negative coverage of Israel's role in the Beeacide, they ran a cartoon depicting Iranians as cockroaches. How Nazi of you.
Though the former was not the work of an editorial cartoonist with the editorial board’s backing, the latter was. For the readers among you, KABOBfest has long documented Israel’s contributions to pathogens rather scientifically.
Chaim Sugerman revealed yesterday that the virus was developed in the laboratories of the Israeli intelligence agencies and deployed in an assassination attempt on Nahoul, Hamas’ giant bee. Apparently the critique by PETA was not satisfactory to the Israelis, who seem to have worked out a deal with the animal rights society in order to use llamas in war without the latter saying a word.
[Photo tarboush tip: Nadeem]
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KABOBegories: Fayyad, israel, politics, randomness, satire, Science
Friday, September 07, 2007
Why Is This Jerk Still Playing The Lottery?
Not only is this filthy-rich, filthy-war monger Wisconsin republican congressman is a racist xenophobic prick, but Mr. Jim "No-Neck" Sensenbrenner is also cheep and has a gambling problem.
MILWAUKEE - U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, already a millionaire and heir to the Kimberly-Clark fortune, is on a lucky streak. The Republican hit it big in 1997 with a $250,000 jackpot in the District of Columbia lottery. Then, last spring, he won $1,000 prize in the Wisconsin lottery, and he won another $1,000 in that lottery last week.
"I got lucky," Sensenbrenner said.
Sensenbrenner, 64, was born into a family that helped build Kimberly-Clark Corp., maker of Kleenex tissue and Scott paper towels, and he recently reported a net worth of about $11.6 million. He said he spends about $10 a week on lottery tickets.
The latest winnings came in a Super 2nd Chance drawing, in which people who mail in at least $5 in losing tickets vie for 10 $1,000 prizes each week. Lottery officials put the odds of winning just one time at 1 in 5,000.
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KABOBegories: american politics, Fayyad, funny, randomness
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Cholas in Middle Eastern History
Classic Line:
The Sphinx: “Why are you mad dogging me bitch? I got secrets of the pyramids to keep!”
To understand the significance of such motifs like switchblade, the gatekeeper, and the trickster in chola culture; take a look at Askachola’s use of Joseph Campbell’s work on archetypes to explicate all this:
Inspired by Askachola (who's other videos you NEED to see on either her website or her myspace page) counseling efforts, KABOBfest has decided to service its target demographic of readers by launching it's very own version entitled "Ask a Mactivist." Outfitted in Che shirts with faces half-covered by red, black, and green, power fist-checkered kuffiyas (the smiley face kuffiyas being the obvious influence for such an avant-garde design), and scented to perfection by a peculiar mixture of Frankincense and Axe; the men of KABOBfest will be answering all questions related to using one's art, intellect, and/or passion for revolutionary change to bang some chicks. As a pleasant surprise, KABOBfest's investigative reporter/master pickup artist Chaim Sugarman has informed me that he is willing to take time away from his busy Warcraft playing schedule to participate in the telecounseling, so feel free to send those burning questions!
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KABOBegories: activism, funny, history, Maytha, randomness, satire, video










