Sex Education Saudi Style

I have to thank Angry Arab for bringing me to light about this fatwa originally, but i couldn't help re-posting it. Since it is in Arabic, I will summarize: a website that specializes in fatwas on "women's issues" called Eve's World posts the following (Arabic only): if a man has anal sex with his wife without realizing it, he is forgiven as long as he ceases as soon as his wife informs him. There is a long-winded explanation given for this using chain of narratives which ends up saying that God "told the Jews" that having anal sex or sex with your wife while "she is laid on her face" will produce a cross-eyed child. However, fear not, for God did not reveal the full truth to the Jews, as anal sex does not (gasp!) result in pregnancy! This stellar sex education tip is accompanied by the ruling that a husband may "take his wife however he pleases, laying on her back or on her face, so long as his entry is in 'the front' and not 'the rear'". I find this disturbing enough to share not just because of the insertion (no pun intended) of Jews into this whole tale so as to try and somehow link them to sexual deviance - taking advantage of their being mentioned a whole lot in Surat al-Baqarah (the Cow Chapter of the Qur'an) - but also because implicitly the fatwa seems to say that (heterosexual) butt sex is ok if the husband "doesn't know" and the wife doesn't inform him! Can this also mean that a man can have sex with another (male-bodied) man as long as he thinks the latter is female and is not informed to the contrary? In addition to this, the fatwa is inadvertently reassuring curious young people who may lack safer sex knowledge that anal sex will not get you pregnant. Oh, if only they had found a Hadith that supported using condoms.

PS: In addition, I would like to thank his Beneficience the Sheikh who issued this fatwa for teaching me the term for anal sex in good fussha (classical Arabic). This will definitely be worked into my next homework composition.

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A Reader Reflects: First Annual Bay Area Arab Women's Conference

This report was submitted by Kristel.

I had the honor of attending the first annual Bay Area Arab Women's Conference this past Friday, March 14, in Mountain View, California. This event was organized by the Arab Cultural and Community Center of San Francisco and featured a diverse compilation of speakers and subject matters. Topics ranged from discussions on Arab women in the realm of politics, health, media, community activism, identity, and cultural expression.

Although the speakers all articulated themselves well and shared rich perspectives and vital information, I felt the heart of the conference came from the mere fact that Arab/Arab-American women gathered together in one room. This act alone garnered an overwhelming sense of solidarity, especially as every participant could identify with battling warp perspectives non-Arabs hold of Arab women, and the very personal struggles Arab women have in dealing with their own community.

Dr. Suad Amiry touched upon an element of these two struggles in her speech titled after her book, "No Sex in the City: The Generation of Secular Women in the PLO." Dr. Amiry expressed her frustration derived from the labeling of Arab women as either the subservient/oppressed type, or the overly emotional/mourning type. Those having such limited views of Arab women do a great injustice, as the contributions, lifestyles, and points-of-view of Arab women get overlooked. The exploration of these eclectic and unique differences among Arab women can give others great insight and understanding into a people often misunderstood.

Dr. Dina Ibrahim, in her talk about Arab women in the media, chimed into this subject as well. Her simple statement of how often people assume her to be "Mexican" or something other than Arab, as she doesn't fit the stereotypical look of an Arab (i.e., not wearing a hijab), emerged a powerful testament to the daily struggle of the Arab/Arab-American woman. The collective chuckle at the presumption of being an ethnicity other than Arab proved Dr. Ibrahim was not alone! I can most definitely relate, as can every one of my Arab cousins/friends.

The conference attendees also found unity when discussing issues plaguing women within the Arab/Arab-American community. Dr. Suad Amiry talked about her having to take great strides to conceal the identity of the women featured in her book, who spoke about their first loves, other romantic relationships, and their sex lives. These women feared "gossip" would construe as a result of their stories. Discussions related to health were also a cause of fear, which Dr. Sally Al-Daher and Nadiah Mshasha, MPH, reflected upon. For example, a result of the extensive survey they conducted on Arab/Arab-American women exposed that they tend to not conduct monthly breast exams as recommended by their gynecologists. The reason for this comes from being embarrassed to touch oneself; these acts are considered "aib," or shameful in Arabic.

Whether we discussed our strengths or areas of improvement, it felt empowering to have a forum focused on Arab/Arab-American women. Rarely does this outlet exist in the community, so being surrounded by women that could whole - heartedly empathize, relate, and most importantly, care - just felt good. I only hope this sort of momentum continues and escalates to an even grander, more encompassing scale in the future.

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Strategic Media Usage: Saudi Women 1, Jordan Times 0

Some women in Saudi Arabia made a video of themselves driving on a main highway in the Kingdom. They then posted it on Youtube- 13 hours ago. CNN and BBC are mad Youtube savvy!



Across the desert (uh, literally, unless you rented a boat at the red sea and drifted north), a French national has been sentenced to three months in jail in Jordan for verbally insulting King Abdullah. I read about it here in the BBC.

In search of a more in depth story, I went to the Jordan Times homepage. Nothing! I even searched for French both today and last week. Not one word. Not a peep.

The Saudi women have done something pretty cool as far as using media strategically as a tool for social change. The Jordan Times, well, you can read more about my frustration with the Jordan Times here.

I mentioned also in my previous posts slamming the Jordan Times that I expect better from them than to ignore abuses of fundamental human rights. The reason is this: the Jordan Times has actually done plenty in the past to bring about social change in Jordan precisely through its reporting. The Jordan Times was the first newspaper in Jordan to begin covering the trials of honor crimes perpetrators. Rana Husseini attended trial after trial to simply report in the newspaper about how crimes against women (mostly, sometimes men) go unpunished and are thus allowed to continue. Due almost entirely to her reporting, Jordanian society became appalled with the way the legal system was dealing with honor crimes (because really it isn't something that normal people can accept, no matter what you've heard about scary Arab men- honor killings also happen in Brazil, Italy, and in diverse societies all over the world), and things are actually changing. I have utmost respect for Rana Husseini and the Jordan Times for printing her work.

So, this is why the lack of reporting on abuses of Filipina workers in Jordan, and on this poor bastard who's gonna sit in jail for the next three months because of some words he spoke, frustrates me to no end.

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On Breast Cancer, Palestinians in Israel, and Haifa Wahbe

A little while ago I attended a Breast Health Study Day put on by the Arab branch of the Israeli Cancer Association in Nazareth for Palestinian Arab women citizens of Israel. Cancer is a difficult issue here; people often don’t even want to say the word. Breast cancer gets into even more touchy territory (no pun intended). You’re talking about boobs in a generally conservative society and then putting boobs AND illness in the same sentence.

These attitudes are reflected in the survival rates of women afflicted with breast cancer. The survival rate of Jewish Israeli women for breast cancer is 70-75%, while among Arab Israeli women it is 60-65%, according to Physicians for Human Rights. Dr Raymond Menassa, the Director of the Breast Health Center in Nazareth has been quoted giving far more disparate numbers. The point is that survival rates indicate several things- access to health services, quality of diagnosis and treatment, access to information- and there is a serious differential here.

(Let’s keep in mind that in Gaza the breast cancer survival rate is around 30% or less, and I can’t find the numbers for the West Bank. I’m focusing here only within Israel’s internationally recognized borders, which places this into the context of an indigenous minority group’s health rights within the state where they are citizens. Cancer and access to treatment through checkpoints and across borders from the West Bank and Gaza is a whole other can of worms, though the people involved may end up in the same hospitals with the same doctors and may be related in some way....)

So there's the general cultural attitude toward breast cancer that makes prevention and awareness work so difficult: often women hide the fact that they are undergoing treatment, even from their own families. And as if stigma weren't enough, the Israeli Cancer Association insists on burying its head in the sand. The ICA recommendations, which determine what the Sick Funds (HMOs) will pay for, say that women should start getting mammographies at the age of 50. This recommendation is based on data showing that Israeli women tend to get breast cancer in their mid to late 50s.

Well, guess what. The physicians in Nazareth are saying, and have been for a long time, that Arab women tend to get breast cancer in their 40s. There's a reason why the American Cancer Society recommends that women begin mammogram screenings at age 40. And the CDC. While not always cost effective overall, mammogram screenings in a woman's 40s are so important, because if you get it younger it's likely to be more aggressive, and early detection will benefit you much more. You can find that information anywhere. Like here. And while it isn't a clear-cut issue (the American College of Physicians 2007 guidelines say you should just ask your doctor in your 40s when to begin mammogram screenings), it seems to me that if Palestinian citizens of Israel are likely to get breast cancer in their 40s, then the insurance should pay for screenings beginning at age 40, and the guidelines should be revised.

This whole situation is not unlike the good old U.S. of A. African American women tend to get more aggressive forms of breast cancer, and younger. African American women also wait longer for treatment.

Language is also a huge issue. While there is a ton of breast cancer awareness work that goes on in Israel, it's in Hebrew. I seriously doubt that's going to help most middle-aged and over Palestinian women who are Israeli citizens. At the study day, even though it was conducted in Arabic, every presentation but one was accompanied by a Hebrew language powerpoint. This is because you have to speak Hebrew to get anywhere in this country, and the doctors and nurses and nutritionists presenting who've clearly gotten somewhere have had to leave their Arabic in the dust and just couldn't be bothered to type out their notes bil Araby. One did. When her powerpoint came up in Arabic, the audience (mainly of the older non-Hebrew-speaking generations) reacted with exclamations of "What a bright girl!" "Bravo!" "She's so smart!"

I recently spoke with the product manager in the oncology branch of a major Israeli pharmaceutical company regarding some of this information, and he actually- and I still can’t quite believe this- said, “Now, explain to me why I should be interested in this?”

I’m sorry? Why should you be interested? Women in your country are DYING because they don’t have enough information in their own language to protect themselves, and you can’t muster up the teensiest ounce of interest? This issue is directly related to your line of work and product consumer base. I have a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure San Diego t-shirt that lists the following general sponsors: Yoplait, American Airlines, Coldwater Creek, Energizer, Ford, New Balance, and Quilted Northern Ultra. TOILET PAPER, people! Yogurt, airplanes, weird yuppie clothing, batteries, cars, shoes, and TOILET PAPER are interested in breast cancer.

In spite of, and also because of, all this nonsense, many women showed up at the the Breast Health Study Day AND asked a ton of questions. Including the woman who stood in front of everyone to ask if in her 70s, she was too old for reconstructive surgery. Someone was quick to reply, "Not if you want to sing like Haifa Wahbe!"

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Underneath the Veil

Sorry to use such a cliche title, but I did so in jest. Almost every publication about Arab women throws in the word veil.

A very nice profile of three female, Arab film directors appeared in today's Christian Science Monitor, the only somewhat worldly American newspaper. I am yet to see any of their work, but I will the first chance I get.

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Filipina Workers in Jordan Update

In a new Jordan Times article, Hani Hazaimeh reports again that

According to DHAA officials, the complaints included ill-treatment by employers and being overworked, said Faouri, who believes the workers’ reasons for wanting to leave their posts were homesickness and cultural differences between Jordan and the Philippines.

The Jordan Times still fails to mention the real allegations, which include serious abuses such as non-payment of wages, physical abuse and rape.

The article is unclear as to whether the hundreds of women who sought refuge at their embassy were forced to pay a fine for terminating their contracts:

On December 9, the Philippine embassy approached the ministry seeking its assistance to waive fines for around 100 domestic helpers for violating residency regulations in order to be sent home at the expense of the embassy, said Habashneh.

“The ministry did not accept the embassy’s proposal because it would harm the interests of local domestic helper recruitment agencies with which these workers are bound by a two-year contract,” he added.

The Jordan Times appears to be laying the blame for the situation squarely upon the Filipina workers themselves for not being well-adjusted enough:

The ministry pointed out the necessity to hold orientation and awareness programmes on Jordanian culture to the Filipino workers before they are brought into the Kingdom, Habashneh added.

What about orientations for the families bringing a foreign person to work in their homes? What about putting sexual assault response services into place for women who speak Tagalog and other languages? What about the police and the Labor Ministry taking some of these allegations seriously?

Come on, Hazaimeh, Jordan Times, you're better than this!!!!!

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Philippine Government Finally Stands Up!

I was surprised and pleased to read this in the Jordan Times on Wednesday. The Philippine government has apparently said it will not approve any more work contracts for its citizens in Jordan, where a large number of Filipina women work as domestic helpers.

Domestic workers in Jordan are mainly from Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and the Philippines, and are often treated like doodoo. By the time I was ready to leave Jordan a while ago, I was so incredibly tired of the classism inherent in the society and in the way people treat each other. (see this post from last spring for one individual instance.) Other instances that my friends experienced were much more insidious and happened in much greater numbers to Americans of Asian descent. Jordan is incredibly classist, but this classism is tied to racism in a place where Asian women in the country largely fall into the category of either domestic workers or sex workers.

What this means for the women who sign contracts to come and work in Jordan, through agencies that make money off of them while simultaneously failing to protect them, is that they come to a place where they are made very, very vulnerable.

Harassment I was made aware of involved Asian American women who were harassed on the street, grabbed in cabs, and accused of stealing while shopping in an upscale department store. White women, while they may be mistaken for a Russian brought in by the trade in women, largely did not face harassment on this level. Two friends had their wallets stolen while at the gym, one white and one Asian American. The police asked the white girl about the chain of events, but repeatedly asked the Asian American girl what she was doing there and whether she was Filipina, even though she produced a passport for them. Another time, a salesperson came to the door of an Asian American girl and asked for her 'madame.' When she said, 'I am the madame,' he just walked away. These are instances of harassment of American students, not Filipina domestic workers.

I'm certain we don't have any idea of the extent of harassment and abuses of Asian women domestic workers (and sex workers) in Jordan. A foreign teacher in Jordan used to overhear his students in a boy's high school bragging about the sexual acts they had done with their family's domestic worker. The Jordan Times article doesn't mention the worser abuses. It says

The decision [of the Philippine government] was taken in light of allegations of mistreatment of Filipina domestic helpers by their Jordanian employers, according to the embassy's legal adviser, Imad Sharqawi.

The article then goes on to report in a rather self-serving, disappointing fashion:

According to Faori, three Labour Ministry committees formed to look into the allegations found that most "were illogical."
The complaints included ill-treatment by employers and being overworked, said Faori who believes the workers' real reasons for wanting to leave their posts were homesickness and cultural differences between Jordan and the Philippines.

Homesickness and cultural differences are a far cry from the non-payment of wages, physical abuse, and rape reported by the BBC article on the same topic. I personally am more apt to think that serious abuses sent about 200 Filipina women to their embassy demanding to be sent home.

I also have little sympathy for the Jordanian families who

...stand to lose thousands of dollars as a result of the suspension.

In a country where unemployment is so high, why aren't the better-off families hiring domestic workers who are Jordanian? Lord knows many could use the money. My theory is that it's about power and control: girls and women from Amman would go home to their families, who would protect them against any abuses or offenses. Foreign Asian women and girls (many are actually girls) have no such entity protecting them. They live with the family, sometimes in the kitchen, and do not have any enforced time off. (There used to be a mandatory day off for domestic workers in Jordan, which was canceled after families complained that their domestics brought home or met with undesirable individuals.) The family therefore has almost complete control.

A PS: A woman doing PhD research interviewing the domestic workers in Jordan was told by a young Filipina woman that her government had offered her an injection containing two years worth of contraception before she left her country. She intelligently refused the injection.

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Muslim Tennis Players Do Exist

As the tennis season begins again, I wanted to share with you some of the amazing but little-noted accomplishments of Arab/Muslim tennis players, many of which occurred in 2007. Watch them all this week at the Australian Open, the year's first Grand Slam.

WOMEN

SANIA MIRZA (India, current ranking: 31st, highest ever: 27):

With wins over many top ten players including Martina Hingis and Svetlana Kuznetsova, this 5'7'' fireball of woman has shown the world flashes of brilliance that some say will land her in the top ten. Armed with a lethal forehand, 21 year-old Sania plays with a very high-risk style that generates stunning winners but also cringe-inducing unforced errors. She has a fiery spirit on the court full of fist pumps and shouts, the mark of a winner. In 2006, she won the newcomer of the year award, the first Indian or Muslim woman to reach the world's top 40. Infamously, there was a fatwa declared on her (for wearing indecent clothing) shortly after rising to fame with a victory at the Hyderabad tourney in 2005. Here she is at Hajj with her mother in Saudi Arabia.



TAMIRA PASZEK (Austria, current ranking: 41st, highest ever: 35):

It gives me special pride as a half-Austrian to present 16 year-old Tamira Paszek. Like much of the new generation in Europe, she's an ethnic cocktail: her father and coach , Ariff Mohammed, is of Indian descent, was born in Tanzania, and raised in Kenya, her mother, Francoise Paszek, was born in Chile and raised in Austria. This girl is only 5'5'' but has a stocky build and is totally fearless on the court, not to be dominated by more seasoned players a half-foot taller. In this her first year on the tour, she reached the round of 16 at Wimbledon and the US Open, taking out three top-20 players. She has a reputation for coming back from way down in matches to win them in three epic sets. She won her first title in 2006, barely 15 years old. She just got to the semifinals of a tournament in New Zealand, where she gave Lindsay Davenport a tough contest. In the photo above, she's wearing a daring dress and popping right out of it!

ARAVANE REZAI (France, current ranking: 90th, highest ever: 40):

Of Iranian descent, this 20 year-old will probably become one of the most dangerous players on tour in the future. Her father Arsalan, a former auto mechanic, is reported to be a very hot-tempered coach and was once fined by the French tennis federation for verbal abuse of another player. Of course, one must take this information with a grain of salt, as any Muslim man who makes decisions for a Muslim woman (be they professional or otherwise) will come in for great criticism. She used to be the ball-girl for her brother, also a tennis player, but quickly eclipsed him in ability and fame! She has twice won the Muslim Women's Games, and this year exploded onto the scene at the Istanbul tournament, beating former number ones Maria Sharapova and Venus Williams in succession. She plans to become an astrophysicist when her tennis career comes to an end.


YOUNES EL AYNOAUI, HICHAM ARAZI, AND KARIM ALAMI formed the Moroccan triumvirate that briefly lifted Arab tennis out of its usual futility, in the late 90's and early this century. Together, they won eight titles (Fadi, there ARE Arabs who win tennis titles, not just Federer in Arab drag). There seems to be no obvious inheritor of this legacy in the current crop of Muslim youngsters, which means that the focus of future hopes is now on the women.

MEN

YOUNES EL AYNAOUI (Morocco,current ranking: 180th, highest ever: 14)

This incredible showman was born way back in 71 and is still playing at the age of 36, amazingly, even though he's now a family man with a french wife and three sons with strange names: Ewen, Neil, and Noam ("Neil El Aynaoui, pleased to meet you"). A real giant for an Arab at 6'4'', he was somewhat of a late bloomer and won most of his titles in the twilight of his career. In 2002, when he won titles in Doha and Casablanca, he caused spontaneous celebrations in the streets and reinvigorated Arab pride in tennis. Overall he's won five titles, and reached 11 finals. He's probably best known for a nail-biter five-set loss to Andy Roddick in the Australian Open where he had previously defeated No. 1 Hewitt in four sets before losing to Roddick 21-19 in a five-hour marathon (longest fifth set in Grand Slam history). In a 2003 poll by leading Moroccan economic daily, "L'Economiste," he came in first as a role model for society. He has also been endowed with highest possible decoration from the King of Morocco.



HICHAM ARAZI (Morocco, current ranking: 794, highest ever: 22)

If you remember the legendary and colorful tennis commentator Bud Collins (who used to moderate Breakfast at Wimbledon), Arazi was always one of his favourite players. Collins lauded his incredible artistry and shot-making ability, pulling audacious and improbable shots out of nowhere with the deftest of touches. Even if it meant losing matches for taking such huge risks. He used to wear his straight hair very long and looked like something of a tennis pirate. He also electrified Casablanca by winning the title there in 97. Like El Aynaoui, he was a formidable Davis Cup player (the tournament where nations play one another), and once beat both Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski in the same playoff, that victory over the UK lifting Morocco into the World Group competition.



KARIM ALAMI (Morocco, current ranking: N/A, highest ever: 25)

I was in Egypt recently baking in the heat and watching rainy Wimbledon on the Al Jazeera sports channel, when I saw that this guy was doing the commentary. The guys at Al Jazeera headquarters kept referring to him as "Captain Karim". "Captain Karim, what do you think about this, about that, does player X have the Y to beat player Z considering that T in enough time to do V?" And then Captain Karim would answer like it was a perfectly reasonable question. He's definitely a looker and acts like he knows it: he never hesitates to take his shirt off and once bleached his hair blond. He became the first Moroccan to win an ATP title at Atlanta in 1996, and has won two titles overall.



JEWISH-MUSLIM DOUBLES TEAMS

It has happened quite a lot that Israeli players have teamed with Muslim players and achieved some successes while also garnering the obvious media attention. It's always of this variety: "Against all odds and against many of their compatriots' wishes, these human beings from opposite sides of the tracks have formed an unlikely partnership that is a lesson in morality for all of us..."

India's Sania Mirza partnered with Israel's Shahar Peer and even won tournaments together, while Israel's Andy Ram and Pakistan's Aisam El-Haq won a few rounds at Wimbledon one year and were the 'heartwarming' story of that championship. People reportedly cried watching them play.

And of course I'm forgetting to mention some notable players, past and present, like the amazing Marcos Baghdatis (I wasn't sure of his ancestry other than that he has a Lebanese dad, or a Greek dad born in Lebanon?)... please mention them if you want.

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How many Muslim women leaders can you name?

Charismatic, striking and politically sly, Benazir Bhutto, 54, was reared amid the privileges of Pakistan's aristocracy and the ordeals of its turbulent politics. Smart, ambitious and resilient, she endured her father's execution and her own imprisonment at the hands of a military dictator to become the country's - and the Muslim world's - first female leader.

The Muslim world's first female leader? Really? Are they serious? Maybe the first democratically elected prime minister of a modern nation-state that is majority Muslim, but to make the jump to say the first leader in the entire history of the 'Muslim world' is misleading and incorrect methinks.

What an incredibly misleading way to begin a story. I said as much to someone, and they said, why is that misleading? So I said umm, Aisha led politically (right?) after the death of the prophet. The person said, "Well I didn't know that." And she's right- no one does, which is why major respected papers with international readership can get away with making such a statement (which really has not much to do with the rest of the article). Notice how the author can write a biography of a female leader of a Muslim modern nation, something that would contradict the stereotypes of most of the readers, without actually challenging the stereotype. With that sentence they reinforce the idea that women can't lead- she must have been the first.

Can we please note here that there hasn't been any non-white non-male president in the US?

Here are some of the FEST's favorite Muslim women leaders (min zamaan and in this current zaman):

Khadija: The first wife of Muhammad. Also his elder, his distant cousin, and his financial sponsor. She was the first person to convert to Islam, and the prophet didn't marry any other wives until after her death. She is remembered as having a leading role in early Islam.

Aisha: A later wife of Muhammad, remembered as having had a special relationship with him, who after his death was respected for her accounts of the prophet's sayings and actions. Up to a quarter of Islamic law may be attributed to her explanations. In the battle that split Islam into Sunni and Shia, she raised up and led an army.

Najah Al-Attar: Syrian Vice President as of 2006 and former Minister of Culture. Don't let her fake wig distract you from her accomplishments.

Khaleda Zia: Bangladeshi Prime Minister from 1991-1996 and 2001-2006. Also she was Forbes' 33rd Most Powerful Woman in 2006.

For a plethora, see here.

Tarboush Tip: Nadeem, May, Fadi

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