
Psycho televangelist John Hagee wants to bomb Iran and expel the Palestinians from their homes to protect Israel so he can prepare for rapture, convert all Jews to Christianity and slaughter those who don’t, thinks the catholic church is a great whore, hurricane Katrina was retribution for a gay parade in New Orleans, thinks that women with PMS are like terrorists except that you can’t negotiate with them, and wanted to hold a slave auction as a school fundraiser. His latest great idea, endorse John McCain for president; he apparently thinks the “Straight Talk Express” is anti-gay fast speech.
McCain said “This man supports me and what I believes in” but then he said, “When he endorses me, that does not mean that I endorse everything that he stands for and believes in.”
Now that’s the straight talk that fucks you, even if you are not gay.
Take that Obama. He got suckered into denouncing Louis Farrakhan’s endorsement of him. But it was hard not to since he nearly got lynched by the pundits in the few minutes it took him to come out with the rejection and denunciation.
Is it wrong? But I feel somewhat left out that Hagee’s hatred of Catholics is getting more media attention that his hatred of Arabs and Muslims, especially Palestinians. It’s giving me the funny feeling that may be hatred towards the latters is not as…wrong. But may be I’m just being overly sensitive.
Monday, March 03, 2008
The Rapture Talk Express
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KABOBegories: 2008 elections, american politics, Fayyad, zionuts
Saturday, March 01, 2008
It could be one of the most beautiful seaside resorts in the world
Gaza - غزة هاشم : General view #4 from the sea looking east
....why can't the Zionists just let it be?
Tarboush Tip: taken from PalestineRemembered.com
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KABOBegories: Gaza, israel, palestine, photography, sunbula, zionuts
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Zionuts and American Jewish Opinion

In a new Salon article, Glenn Greenwald analyzes a new survey of American Jewish opinion, released by the American Jewish Committee. He argues the study:
demonstrates several important propositions: (1) right-wing neocons (the Bill Kristol/Commentary/ AIPAC/Marty Peretz faction) who relentlessly claim to speak for Israel and for Jews generally hold views that are shared only by a small minority of American Jews; (2) viewpoints that are routinely demonized as reflective of animus towards Israel or even anti-Semitism are ones that are held by large majorities of American Jews; and (3) most American Jews oppose U.S. military action in the Middle East -- including both in Iraq and against Iran.This study will rankle the feathers of the Zionuts running around claiming to speak on behalf of the Jewish community. They are vocal, but still a minority of a minority.
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KABOBegories: american politics, iran, iraq, israel, Will, zionuts
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
OH SNAP! Almontaser Sues NYC Mayor
That's great May, now back to things that actually matter…
This morning the NY Times reported that Ms. Debbie Almontaser, the founding principle of NYC's Khalil Gibran International Academy, filed a lawsuit against Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg and Education Department Chancellor Joel I. Klein for suppressing her freedom of speech and "conspire-[ing] to deny her the opportunity to regain her position as principle."
If you recall, a few months ago Ms. Almontaser was pressured into resigning after a few spineless officials - pandering to a gang of racist Zionuts and xenophobic turds who launched a smear campaign against her for explaining that the Arabic word for "intifada" literally means "shaking off" - made it damn near impossible for her to continue in her duties as school principle.
Well, she's suing now. And seeing as this is a clear cut case of her first amendment rights being violated, she's likely to win too. So in advance, I'd just like to thank all the racist douche bags (namely the Stop The Madrassa Coalition) who made it possible for another influential pro-Palestinian to turn millionaire. I'm sure Ms. Almontaser will use her new found wealth for something really evil and anti-Semitic too… like…gasp…education!
More KABOBcoverage on Ms. Debbie Almontaser and the Khalil Gibran International Academy.
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KABOBegories: academic freedom, arab-americans, civil rights, freedoms, Nadeem, zionuts
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Haifa University Hinders Free Speech
Here's an interesting story that's controversial for all the wrong reasons:
Arab students attending the Haifa University distributed on Tuesday a leaflet titles "The Palestinian Student's Journal," which featured texts regarding the reoccupying of Jerusalem.Pick up on the controversy yet? Here's a hint… it's the reoccupation of Jerusalem. OoooOOOooooh! Can you believe those ungrateful third-class bastards, demanding the reoccupation of land that's legally and rightfully theirs to begin with?
The leaflet was distributed, they said, to mark both the anniversary of Former Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat's death, as well as the Arab Keffiyeh Day....a holiday celebrated by NYC hipsters all the time.
The flyers – unlike the university's Arab Students' Union's leaflets – were not sanctioned by the university and campus security was able to seize and confiscate a portion of them.Censorship on a university campus? In Israel? NO WAY! Seems to me like that should be the real controversy here. But alas, in the land of milk and honey and Zionuts - human rights tend to take a backseat to Israeli sentiment. (By the way, I wonder if they also react this way to pro-settler leaflets.)
MK Alex Miller (Yisrael Beiteinu) told Ynet that he had the material reviewed by a legal counsel and that he intended to file a police report against its distributors.For what, practicing their freedom of speech in a supposedly democratic state? Oh shoot, I forgot! My bad, Israel is only a democracy for Jewish people. Cool rules like that don't apply to stinky Arabs (that have tails and horns and sharp teeth and stuff). Rawr!!!
"The students distributing this material are guilty of incitement and are not worthy to be neither the university's students nor citizens of Israel," said Miller.Exile citizens for practicing critical free thought - now that's a good idea! Here's another one: If you're really fearful of "incitement," burn Der Judenstaat.
"I intend to demand President Shimon Peres' involvement in denouncing the leaflets' writers and distributors," he added.
Haifa University told Ynet that "when such material is found on campus grounds it is immediately confiscate by our security guards."
Isn't it interesting that campus security at Haifa University is not only tasked with patrolling campus property, but also students' minds?
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KABOBegories: academic freedom, israel, Nadeem, palestine, zionuts
Monday, October 29, 2007
O Jerusalem? Oh Puh-leez!!
Hands down – O Jerusalem is the absolute worst movie of 2007. And yes, I’m taking Norbit, Blades of Glory, and even Oriental Riders #3 into account.
The script is ass, the casting is bogus, and in regards to their acting - I've seen donkeys fake better orgasms than that. Seriously folks, you'd be better off staying home and conducting a self-circumcision than shelling out nine bucks for this hershey-squirt of a film.
To begin with, it's horribly Zio-centric. For a story that aims to be "told from the alternating viewpoints of the Jews, Arabs and Brits," it sure spends a disproportionate amount of time developing the humanity of its Jewish characters - at the expense of "Arabs and Brits" (who apparently have a 1:2345 ratio of people with reason and morality).
But that's not even what irks me the most. After all, I know better than to expect a major theater to play a non-biased movie about Israel (Paradise Now being the only exception - with limited engagements, of course). But given the film's synopsis, which claims to “meticulously re-create the historic struggle surrounding the creation of the State of Israel in 1948,” I did - at the very least - expect a movie devoid of historical fabrications (lies of omission, however, are a given in Hollywood - aaaaand, interestingly enough, Israel).
Who knows, maybe Elie Chouraqui (producer/writer/director) doesn't know the meaning of "meticulous." Hell, I get paid to write and just learned what "gynoplasty" means - so it could happen. Just in case, here's what Dictionary.com defines it as:
me•tic•u•lous [muh-tik-yuh-luh s] – adjective – Taking or showing extreme care about minute details; precise; thorough: a meticulous craftsman; meticulous personal appearance.Phhhheeew! Now that we've got that cleared up, allow me to share with you some of the many things that are NOT meticulous about this film:
- Dressing inner-city Arabs as wretched goat herders during the British occupation – when in reality they wore shirts and ties – is not meticulous.
- Recreating 1948’s Jerusalem as a chicken-shack/donkey village – though it was a huge and pretty modern city for its time – is not meticulous.
- Neglecting to mention why Palestinians and other Arabs were against partition, making it seem as though they were just selfish Jew-hating bastards – is not meticulous.
- Portraying the Irgun as a terrorist organization, but passing the Haganah off as a force of moral soldiers – is not meticulous.
- Re-creating King Abdullah's palace as a mere tent in the Jordanian desert – is not meticulous.
- Asserting that King Abdullah was a proponent of Zionism for the sole reason of fulfilling Muslim prophecy (???) - is not meticulous.
- Claiming that Irgun terrorists felt so sorry for what they did at Deir Yassin that they gave up arms and apologized to the Haganah - is not meticulous.
- Scripting a Jordanian soldiers/Haganah henchman hug-fest after a cease fire was established - is not meticulous.
Seriously - historical fiction is one thing, but when a story is grounded in an alternative universe's past… that's just plain ol' fiction. O Jerusalem is liberal-Zionist (yes, an oxymoron) propaganda at its best! I advise you only watch it if you're constipated and need incentive to shit.
(Special thanks to Sharen, Dunia, Samar, and Chaim for their input in writing this review)
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KABOBegories: films, israel, movies, Nadeem, palestine, zionuts
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Jewish Terrorists Set Church Ablaze
I'm not sure why, but this didn't make the nightly news...
Israeli media sources reported on Wednesday that a group of extremists had set a church on fire located in the central of the occupied city of Jerusalem in the early hours of Wednesday morning.So long as the ADL condemns it, I guess it's forgivable:
The church sustained severe damage and bibles were destroyed in the fire, church sources said.
This is not the first time this church in attacked. It was burned down in 1982 by a group of Jewish extremists.
Israeli police told media that no arrests had been made yet but there is an indication that the assailants may be Jewish extremists.
The official story that was published by Israeli media says that attackers entered the church after destroying the front doors and windows then set fire inside the church in three different locations.
The Anti-Defamation League strongly condemned this arson and apparent hate crime. We urged authorities to do everything in their power to protect all religious sites and see that the perpetrators of the crime are brought to justice.But I wonder... if a Palestinian set a Jerusalem synagogue on fire, would that be labeled a "hate crime" too - or would that be TERRORISM?
Eh, who cares. Never mind reality, it's clearly ISLAMO-FASCISM that's reduced the Christian community of Palestine to less than 2% of the population.
(Tarboush tip: this whole post is basically Fadi's)
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KABOBegories: israel, Nadeem, palestine, Palestinian Christians, satire, zionuts
GOOD NEWS: UM Press Bucks Zionut Pressure
This, more than any football game, makes me more proud to be a UM graduate. The University of Michigan Press decided unanimously to continue to distribute Pluto Press books. A Zionut campaign pressured the university and the press to cancel the contract because Pluto Press publishes books critical of Israel. They were especially angered by the publication of Joel Kovel's book, 'Overcoming Zionism,' which is anti-Zionism and proposes one state based on equality between Israelis and Palestinians as the basis for peace (how offensive!)
Finally, a kernal of good news. My hats off to the Press for upholding the values of academic debate. I imagine UM Press will publish some pro-Israel tracts to manage the backlash, but we will see.
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KABOBegories: academic freedom, activism, Will, zionuts
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Short Documentary on Academic Freedom
A video posted on YouTube explores the contest over academic freedom, with a focus on recent Columbia University controversies. The video looks at Campus Watch, Daniel Pipes, Hamid Dabashi, Joseph Massad, Rashid Khalidi, and Hamid Dabashi. It also shows Stephen Walt about the impact of his thesis critiquing the Israel lobby.
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KABOBegories: academic freedom, american politics, Will, zionuts
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Giuliani's Identity Crisis
Just who is this Rudy Giuliani?
A woman (see right)?
No.
The former mayor of New York and the leading Republican candidate in 2008?
Maybe.
A political machine in the shape of a stiff-lipped, chauvinistic hatemonger?
Kinda.
The personification of a state, namely an imperfect America?
Closer.
The personification of two states, namely an imperfect America and Israel?
Bingo.
"You know, Israel’s not perfect, and America’s not perfect, but we’re not terrorist states," Giuliani said at the Republican Jewish Coalition Victory 2008 Forum.
Tell that to the millions of displaced and injured Iraqis, Palestinians and Lebanese. The false naivete of such statements is the most utterly morally bankrupt outlook one can have. Here he negates the terror of others, those who live under attack from his imperfect self. He treats them as non-humans with no experiences worth noting.
Maureen Dowd wrote a column about Giuliani's Arab-bashing spree in an effort to round up Israel-loving support. He bragged to the crowd about removing Arafat from a concert at the Lincoln Center; and was proud to return the $10 million donation for 9/11 families from a Saudi prince (I bet many of the 9/11 rescue workers, including the ones profiled in Sicko, could use that money).
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KABOBegories: 2008 elections, american politics, israel, war on terror, Will, zionuts
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Zio-Fascists Take On Islamo-Fascism for Fascism Crown
I am so excited for Islamo-Fascism Week I just can't hide it. After reading about it in the Chronicle for Higher Education, I realized that hateful idiocy can actually be entertaining if you just ignore for a second all the damage and death such warmongering seeks to justify.
Already, campuses are beginning to heat up and the racists are getting ready to shine:For a sign of how easily rhetoric about the Middle East can escalate, consider George Washington University, where authorities discovered hundreds of posters Monday that said: “Hate Muslims? So do we!” A “typical Muslim” is then portrayed, with features identified such as “venom from mouth” and “suicide vest.” University police removed the posters and are investigating who put them up.
[UPDATE: According to Nadeem: "On the 11 o'clock news last night they reported that it wasn't a 'hate crime' after all. Apparently a bunch of dirty hippie anti-war activists (one of them a veteran of the Iraq war) thought it would be a great way to call attention to how stupid Islamo-fascism week (set for later this month) at GW is going to be. It was just really REALLY really bad satire..."]
Islamo-fascists are so easy to hate, it kind of makes one forget how many innocent civilians the "war on terror" expends (there are no innocents civilians when they marry religious zeal with an early 20th century European political philosophy based on a rightsless authoritarian rule, ha!).
This means that we at KABOBfest will get so much more material to write about. Imagine how much ignorant drivel will flow thanks to the ignoramus freak show these events will amount to. With such Middle East scholars as David Horowitz, Ann Coulter and other wackos running around, we can turn off reality TV and watch fictional punditry in action instead.
Folks at the University of Michigan got a nice sneak preview of anti-Islamo-Fascism courage at work. A talk by Daniel Pipes brought enlightenment and wisdom to the masses stuck in the darkness of not being jingoistic wingnuts.
Though I could not sit through another one of his snore parades -- the guy is about as animated as a pet rock -- he went on to explain how American policy has nothing to do with the state of the Arab world. Deftly ignoring over 50 years of American control, brokering, and intervening, he wanted the crowd to believe that the superpower's actions had no ramifications whatsoever on the region sitting on its oil.
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KABOBegories: activism, american politics, war of terror, Will, zionuts
Friday, October 05, 2007
KABOBfest EXCLUSIVE: Desmond Tutu is a Nazi, Terrorist, Baathist anti-Semite
As mentioned by Will in this post, St. Thomas University administrators cancelled a talk scheduled for this Spring by Nobel Laureate and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The anti-free-flow-of-information administrators banned Tutu because he has made some statements "against Israeli policy." In particular, Doug Hennes, St. Thomas's vice president for university and government relations, lambasted Tutu for "compar[ing] the state of Israel to Hitler." While initially it was thought that Hennes was either outright fabricating this allegation or was spoon-fed this false information (for Tutu has never compared Israel to Hitler), KABOBfest investigative reporter Chaim Sugarman has uncovered a number of incriminating photos that will surely vindicate St. Thomas University's seemingly insane decision: This picture was taken in 1999 (as you can see from the length of bin Laden's beard, the camera's date setting of 1996 is obviously incorrect). According to Mort Klein of the Zionist Organization of America, here Tutu and bin Laden are planning 9-11 in one of Saddam's bunkers (turns out Saddam was sheltering him all along). Can you believe this guy was almost allowed to speak at one of our Universities! (photo credit: Will "free speach" Youmans - ya, he was there too) Tutu with Saddam: for years Tutu was mistaken for Donald Rumsfeld in this photo; turns out that was just a photoshop job by the America/God-hating liberal media
Here Tutu plans the mass killing of Jews with Hitler in Berlin, 1939. This probably explains why Israel publicly supported white supremacy and South African Apartheid until its demise

(Tarboush Tip: Nadeem the resident photoshop expert)
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KABOBegories: Fadi, photoshop art, satire, south africa, zionuts
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
No One is Beyond the Zionut Wrath
Apparently no one is too high for the Israeli lobby and its foot soldiers to target. Nobel Peace Prize winner and anti-Apartheid hero Desmond Tutu was recently invited, and then dis-invited, to speak at a small Minnesota university.
Last April, the Justice and Peace Studies program at St. Thomas University, lined up the former Archbishop Desmond Tutu for a campus appearance. A speaker of this importance does not appear at St. Thomas too often. Tutu was the chairman of South Africa's truth and reconciliation commission -- one of the most significant bodies of its kind.
Well before the program could roll out the red carpet for its esteemed guest, St. Thomas administrators moved to cancel the talk, which was slated for next Spring. The campus officials were "concerned that Tutu's appearance might offend local Jews."
What you are about to read is NOT made up."We had heard some things he said that some people judged to be anti-Semitic and against Israeli policy," says Doug Hennes, St. Thomas's vice president for university and government relations. "We're not saying he's anti-Semitic. But he's compared the state of Israel to Hitler and our feeling was that making moral equivalencies (sic) like that are hurtful to some members of the Jewish community."
Tutu said that Israel was like Hitler?!?!? That is the funniest thing I've read in some time.
The chair of the Justice and Peace program was demoted for telling Tutu why his event was canceled.
The local alternative paper, the City Pages, looked at the transcript of his most critical speech, and found nothing to substantiate the allegations against him.During that speech, titled "Occupation Is Oppression," Tutu lambasted the Israeli government for its treatment of Palestinians in occupied territories. While a transcription clearly suggests his criticism was aimed at the Israeli government ("We don't criticize the Jewish people," he said during the speech. "We criticize, we will criticize when they need to be criticized, the government of Israel"), pro-Israeli organizations such as the Zionist Organization of America went on the offensive and protested campus appearances by Tutu, accusing him of anti-Semitism.
Look, St. Thomas might just be caught between some bad blood from the old days. Tutu is a long-standing critic of Israel's treatment of the Palestinians, which he famously said reminded him of his treatment (and here) in apartheid South Africa. And Israel, which is so dear to the "local Jews" who the administration listened to, was a big ally of apartheid South Africa.
St. Thomas' administration is almost laughable for this decision. That they would bend over backwards to please a few vocal members of a diverse community and dis-invite such a historical figure is so incredibly petty and small-minded. It is hard not to feel bad for them. As Tutu is probably telling himself, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Jewish Voice for Peace is calling for reasonable people to let St. Thomas know the error of its waysClick here to write to Father Dease and urge that he reverse this tragic course. Tell him you want to see Prof. Toffolo reinstated as chair of the Justice and Peace Studies program and that the words and views of Bishop Tutu are important ones for the students at St. Thomas University to hear.
[tarboush tip: muzzlewatch]
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Zionuts Go Buck in Montana
You may think of Montana as the state of Brokeback Mountain-type lore, minus the gay stuff, of course. But who knew it was another place rife with Zionut fanaticism?
The American Association of University Professors has an intereating article by Richard Drake, chair of the History Department at the University of Montana. His sin was to invite Stephen Walt, the Harvard University prof and author of a best-selling book on the Israel lobby, to lecture on campus. His article reads like the average Palestine solidarity activist's autobiography -- the smear campaigns, naked hostility, and outlandish claims all for promoting debate on Israel's policies, America's funding of it, and the lobby's role in keeping the Palestinians oppressed.
Juan Cole described "the techniques of smearing and pressure politics deployed against his appearance" as "as a form of Zionist-fascism (whether deriving from Christian Zionists or Jewish ones)." While I agree with him that it "is a much more potent danger to open intellectual inquiry in the United States than is usually realized," I would call it something else -- Zionutism.
Fascism is may describe the mindframe, but is a political ideology with a wide range of elements I doubt even the nuttiest Zionut would espouse. Of course, the extreme drive to crush all dissent is one big element they do share.
Here are some gems -- actual Zionut quotes -- from angry letters featured in Drake's article:
Comparing Walt to Holocaust denial and the KKK is outrageous, of course. It is also very typical of the nuttisms spewed by Israel-first loonies who cannot tolerate any questioning of their views. If you are not frightened yet, consider that many of these letters came in on University of Montana stationary.“It is much as if the university had brought a Holocaust denier to campus and accorded him the honors of a respected guest.”
Walt was also accused of having brought to campus “in a suit and tie what used to be the province of those who burned crosses while wearing sheets and hoods.”
[Tarboush Tip: Informed Comment]
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Palestinians For Giuliani
Republican presidential frontrunner upset Palestinians and supporters recently when he repeatedly stated his steadfast opposition to the establishment of a Palestinian state.
I am writing to set the record straight and declare support for Giuliani’s seemingly anti-Palestinian agenda, and explain how it is, unwittingly, a pro Palestinian one. So, bear with me.
On its face, Giuliani’s agenda seems utterly racist and as Zionist as they can be, and that is not hard to conclude, for example, the dude is flaunting the words Islamo-fascism and Islamic Terrorism in every paragraph he speaks, whether they usefully fit into the sentence or not. (For example, on Larry King commenting after Bush’s address on the September report on Iraq, towards the end of his interview, he threw out the phrase “Islamic extremist” a la carte, apparently that’s all he could do when he realized that he still did not use it and the interview was concluding.)
Furthermore, his views on war and collective punishment of Arabs and Muslims around the world as a response to terrorism helps enforce the notion that the former New York mayor is opposing a Palestinian state out of spite to Palestine, and because he believes that would harm Palestinians, and benefit Israel. At the very least, he believe such a line will get him the Jewish vote, and other pro-war votes.
This makes more sense when one learns that Giuliani had hired as campaign advisors the racist, Zionut, war mongering, pro-Israel, neo-cons Norman Podhoretz, Martin Kramer, and Daniel Pipes. The three are members of the neocon movement that has pushed for the disasterous direction US foreign policy has taken. They pushed for war under Bill Clinton, and again under Bush after September 11th.
Did you know that the ideological founder of the neo-con movement, Leo Strauss of University of Chicago, was mentored by Carl Schmidt, the leading Nazi government lawyer among those who were planted into the academia to facilitate the rise of the police state? Just some trivia for you, and if I had a proposal to suspend Habeas Corpus in order to enable a police state, I would have called it the Patriot Act.
So the fact that his advisor calls for ethnic cleansing and war crimes through the raising of Palestinian villages may offend some. Understandable, but Giuliani’s motivations aside, the establishment of a Palestinian state at the moment is the worst case scenario and is the ultimate “knock-out” blow to the cause of the Palestinian people. See, hate-filled politicians like Giuliani, Tancredo, Brownback and others of their feather lack the tact to hide what they think, and masterfully plot their evil intentions, rather they spell it out in the hopes of rousing the support of the other hoo-ra-ras.
A Palestinian state at this time will be worse than the Oslo agreement, which managed to absolve Israel of responsibility for the well-being of the populations it occupies, and allowed it the PR luxury to picture the Palestinians as another, equally-sized goliath dealing with whom requires a full war arsenal. Even more, Israel opened its hand and the donations in the forms of 500-lb bombs came generously.
At this time, Palestinians have even less: Less land, less rights, less meaningful institutions, less international support, and more importantly, less leadership and sense of direction. Any so called comprehensive deal with out less than bright leaders or other Arab leaders who seem to generously negotiate on behalf of the Palestinians will be a long term disaster. It will set Palestine and Palestinians for failure and more internal strife.
This kind of deal is what Bush and his Israeli friends are trying to achieve in coming year. The rendered whatever Palestinians Authority institutions with any viability impotent, they split the population, and separated the West Back from Gaza, now after they separated the refugees out side of Palestine, and Palestinians inside Israel. We no longer have a representative voice. Yet we have leaders who are contemplating to sign on such deals out of spite for their rivals. Hence Bush’s content-less conference scheduled for November. But Bush and the Israelis may have over played their hand, even Mahmoud Abbas and the Saudi’s are getting restless with the feeling they are being set up and pulled into a trap. Their requests for information on the conference substance have gone unanswered.
The only thing the Palestinians can afford to do is refuse any political deals that attempt to gloss over their weakness, and treat them as equals only as far as the concession making process necessitates. They must look at historic Palestine (Israel, West Bank, and Gaza) as one country, for them and the Israelis, learn to live with the enemy, and as such, transform their struggle into one of demands for civil rights, equality, and coexistence.
And to make sure some slick politician does not preempt such a movement. You could vote for Giuliani.
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KABOBegories: 2008 elections, american politics, Fayyad, israel, palestine, zionuts
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
FUCK YOU AND SHUT MOUTH
DePaul University and beleaguered professor Norman Finkelstein have come to some settlement. Finkelstein, a pro-Palestinian advocate and prolific smasher of Zionut myths was astonishingly denied tenure by the university despite his excellent track record and support from the Poli Sci department and fellow staff. It seems some high-level administrators got the squeeze put on them by the pro-Israel lobby, yeah, the one that does not exist.
Naturally, they have not revealed the terms of the settlement, which is usually a stipulation of such agreements. I imagine that DePaul had to make up for a lot of shame. They not only broke the integrity of the tenure process by bowing to external pressure, then denying Finkelstein the customary one-year extension to faculty denied tenure, but they damaged the career of a courageous, widely-respected, and debate-provoking public intellectual (whose main crime was being honest).
This episode inspired me to further explore Finkelstein's excellent website. In one of my favorite sections, a catalog of correspondence to him, I found this hilarious letter from a Russian-Israeli:
From: "Steve Kay" redex99@gmail.comOkay, I admit I am laughing at the broken English. And I feel bad about that, especially since I could not even translate the first word into Russian or Hebrew. But I feel no worse about laughing at this e-mail than I do when I crack up at my Mom's butchery of idioms (or "creative rendering" as I should call it). After all, this is how Sasha Cohen managed to rip ten bucks from my wallet.
To: normangf[at]hotmail.com
Subject: Norman Finklestein
Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2007 15:40:57 -0400
Norman;
I am Russian jew living in Israel. You look like man who want suicide, you want destroy israel, maybe you never have hate against you. If you are Russian jew, you understand why have Israel. Every person hate us, and even rich jew like you. FUCK YOU AND SHUT MOUTH
On a more serious note, if I were a Russian Jew, I'd be happy to get the hell out of Russia, too. But picking a place founded on pogroms is a hypocritical choice. The Palestinians are clearly Israel's Jews -- unwanted, feared and despised, and ultimately marginalized by a marriage of equally discriminating secular and religious authorities.
But, his ("Steve Kay") last line is classic. Isn't it the perfect verbal expression of what Finkelstein's opponents are doing?
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Aid and Comfort
I was listening to Stephen Walt -- the Harvard professor who called out the Israeli lobby's harmful impact on U.S. interests -- on Fresh Air on NPR today.
Without surprise, Terry Gross repeated the canard about Israel being the only democracy and surrounded by hateful countries trying to destroy it. Walt had to reiterate his belief in Israel's right to exist and stated that the U.S. should admit if it is supporting Israel for moral reasons. If I was a bit more conspiratorially-minded, I would have concluded that the Zionists are putting these guys -- and Jimmy Carter -- up to provide the illusion of a debate.
Israel's most prominent critics in the United States are still Zionists. The problem with Israel is not the failure of this or that peace process, or even this or that policy, it IS an existential problem. There is no peace without resolution of the problem that Israel was a colonial creation, imposed by Europeans, that entailed the destruction of a country and the creation of a huge refugee population.
Mearsheimer and Walt shimmy around this. They say that support for Israel is a liability to U.S. interests? OK, but why is it? Without the history of usurpation and ethnic cleansing, there really is no issue. For that reason, their analysis misses THE fundamental contextual point. And that is why their work so far has been so disappointing (they fill-in-the-blank with talk of Israeli human rights violations against Palestinians -- which is not the real issue here)
Gross, in the same program, felt the need to air the opposite view, provided by Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League (I still know of NO issue requiring such stringent "equal" time practices).
She quoted from his new book, stating that M and W are not anti-Semites themselves, but provide "AID AND COMFORT" to anti-Semites.
It piqued my interest in this phrase, which we increasingly heard thrown at critics of George Bush. The charges of providing "aid and comfort to terrorists" by, for example, questioning whether we should torture Muslims the government thinks MIGHT be terrorists, refer to the legal definition of treason in the U.S. Constitution.
Article VIII, Section III, declares, that "adhering to the enemies of the United States, giving them aid and comfort," shall be treason.
Interesting choice of language there, Foxy-man. Collapsing criticism of the pro-Israel lobby with treason against the United States... By compounding support of America's enemies and questioning the pro-Israel lobby, Foxman is exploiting the most baseless and hysterical logic of the war in terror.
By the way, I love Foxman's book cover. It looks like an anti-Semitic treatise itself, with the word lies scrawled over the Star of David. Also, the title, "The Deadliest Lies," is so grossly exaggerated, I had to laugh.
I cannot even conceive of any "lies" -- or claims made by Israel's critics -- that are as deadly as the reality of Israeli occupation and historical displacement. Israel's greatest danger is the outcome of its own actions -- of aggression, displacement, and continued occupation.
Monday, September 03, 2007
A decidedly long, decidedly tangential open letter to Dan Abrams
Dear Dan Abrams:
Allow me to begin with full disclosure: I haven’t watched MSNBC for years. The last time I remember seeing you live, you were standing outside the U.S. Supreme Court building reading off the 5-4 decision that handed the presidential election over to Junior one cold December night. Remember that, Dan Abrams? Those were good times. Back when folks seemed positive Bush would only be a single-term president, and that at least we'd have Colin Powell right by his side so he couldn't fuck shit up totally and completely.
I'd be nostalgic for those days but the truth is that I wasn't convinced even then of any potential silver lining of anything anywhere. Believe me, I'm not bragging for knowing that Armageddon was around the corner. Just because my dad's a crazy Guatemalan evangelical preacher, it doesn't mean I take the same kind of pleasure he does in being right about that.
So during that time, after slipping into that same mild depression I've slipped into after every presidential election that I've ever been old enough to vote in, I stopped answering my cousin's phone calls for months following his "I voted for Bush" confession. (Yes, I didn't care then that he was in California where it didn't matter, just like I don't care now, and he and I have already discussed it ad nauseum, and he is asking me to tell you that he'd really appreciate it if you didn't rekindle any of it.)
So while temporarily disowning two other friends who shall remain nameless because they never found out about it and we're cool again so why you gotta bring up old shit, I was also noticing your colleague over at Hardball, Chris Matthews, going around with a suspicious twinkle in his eye every time he talked about Bush moving into the White House.
But you? I observed you doing a better job of keeping your poker face on. I was happy not to be so certain that you had also voted for Bush – although I realize now that if you had voted for Gore instead, it had really been a vote for Lieberman. (More on that later.)
I liked you, Dan Abrams. I also liked your dad. How is he? Please send him my best. It was people like you who had made it difficult to accept that corporate news was partially responsible for the horrible decisions we'd been making and that I needed to completely cut MSNBC and the other cable news networks from my life.
So in the rage that followed, I may have donated $1,200 to my local NPR station in one lump sum. Reminders of this temporary lunacy arrive in the form of yearly renewal letters KPCC is still sending me half a decade later, undeterred by the fact that I am no longer living in Los Angeles and that I am no longer working in the corporate world. Dan Abrams, I don't need to tell you that the world has changed drastically in the past 7 years. For instance, I'm a very broke graduate student now, I don't have dental insurance anymore, and I'm currently accepting applications to marry someone who needs a green card in exchange for being added to his (her?) company's excellent health plan.
I've now realized that while sometimes it's better to make believe that news sources like yours ceased to exist the day I stopped watching, I have to come to terms that millions of people trust you fully and completely and genuinely believe that everything you say and how you say it must be the truth.
Dan Abrams, what exactly does that type of responsibility feel like? I can only imagine the burden it must be weighing on you and your colleagues, the suffocating guilt pelting you each time you learn of – stop me if you’ve heard this one – the 20 killed and 72 injured in a car bomb in Baghdad yesterday in Bush's wars the media apparatus you represent made certain the American public would support.
No?
I'm trying to understand the nation a lot better, so I've started watching your network again – but on the Internet without commercials because you're not gonna get any money out of me, Chris Matthews! (Although… I hear now that he's reformed and is seeking penance for the error of his 2000 presidential election ways. Is this true?)
So I've been watching the Internet footage of you now, Dan Abrams, and it has me spinning like whoa. They've given you your own show! (At least two, at that.) Congratulations. You look great! No wrinkles. Just as young as you looked back when the Supreme Court had you frantically flipping through the pages of that death sentence they penned for the hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women, and children in Iraq and Afghanistan.
But they do say voices tend to get louder with age, which unfortunately, there's no sun block for. Is it just me, or are you yelling now, Dan Abrams? Like, really yelling now. Not that I'm saying you're getting all long in the tooth deaf and shit. I'm assuming it's because you find it difficult to hear yourself over the electric-guitar/glass-shattering/car-engine/horn-honking/helicopter-flying theme music that welcomes us to Live with Dan Abrams every Monday through Thursday night at 9. (Catchy title by the way.)
I see that MSNBC has decided to let you sit down now – and indoors of all places! I hope your contract negotiated this to be a permanent arrangement. No wind = hair that doesn't move = the true requisite of the television anchorperson. You are the man in charge Dan Abrams, which always comes in handy when you need to interrupt your guests in order to guide the political discourse your way for those times when you're so embarrassingly losing.
And the head snappin', fuck aaaaaall y'all attitude – you are so street! Have you been spending time with Tee and Ricky and them? (Tell Tee I'm still waiting for the 50 bucks I lent him for rent but prolly blew on weed instead.) You give us real passion, Dan Abrams. Vein-popping, eye bulging, spit-flying passion. It's the recipe that has made those before you uber famous, and you've taken note.
But I think -- I think you'll be bigger than most of them, Dan Abrams. Much bigger. CAMERA is falling in love with you. Your perfect locks, your baby blues, your formidable hatred of Muslims and unshakable hard-on for Zionism. You are the anti-Christiane Amanpour -- and not just because she’s on a competing news network either. You literally are anti-Christiane Amanpour. Let's watch the video the folks at CAMERA are currently flaunting of you getting all Zionutty on Ms. Amanpour's @$$! Remember everyone: look for the passion -- that passion!
And to all the wannabe corporate journalists out there reading this open letter and about to view the video, keep an eye out for some of the top tenets of any successful corporate U.S. news anchor:
1) Get in good with the Zionists
2) Call into question the competition’s skillz
3) Utilize lots of Aqua Net
But not necessarily all in that order.
Best,
QuiQui
www.KABOBfest.com
Sept 03, 2007
