may\’s inRANTations
10 Ways to Tell That You Are in the Emirates…
1. Two men with ambiguous sexual preferences, one with his arm around the other’s waist, and the partner with his arm over his friend’s shoulder hit on you. 2. A spa for cars is all the rage. 3. On a plane flight from the states to Dubai, the overweight American hick with an stretched to [...]
Teases W/O Teez: An Unfair Study of Sweeping Generalizations Accented by 19th C British Orientalist Cultural Observations of Lebanese Women
Being the “ass”-essor that I am, I can confidently say that if you are Lebanese and you have ass, you are an exception to the rule. Perhaps it’s this “Phonecian” etno-ancestrial identification/blood that they so proudly tout over any claims to “Arab-ness” that is the cause of unfortunate a-posterioress condition. One after another, in [...]
Even MORE Disturbing than Busta Rhymes “A-rab Money”
Self-neo-orientatlizing hip hop artist/producer Noose remixes Busta Rhymes’ offensive song by “arabizing” it and the accompanying music video to the song. Wonder what I mean by “arabizing” the song and hip hop culture? This is done by: wearing a kuffiyah (Arab gangsta cred), driving a benz (hip hop materialism cred), “brought up in the Jersey [...]
A-rab Money? Fo Real Busta Rhymes????
“Middle East women and Middle East bread I got Oil Well money in the desert playin Golf My first thought when I heard the offensive chorus sandwiched in between gibberish “Arabic” (“The way i make the people wanna sing the hook in Arabic : LaLaLa HaleHeloHaLow/HelaBalaHeHeleBalo/We gettin Arab Money/We gettin Arab Money”): WTF Busta? Now [...]
Does America Run on Racism?
This was the precise question a haphazardly conceived and executed social experiment sought to answer: Two Sundays ago, I broke out and dusted off my acrylic paints, smoothed out the wrinkles on a heavily discounted, plain white AA tee, and proceeded to make a worthy case study for Will’s famous interest in Arab American protest [...]
Kuffiyah Kraze Spotting: In My Iris
A poem inspired by the sight a red and black kuffiyahs hanging underneath a “10 minute Cellphone Charge Service” in a tourist’s haven on 6th avenue in between 15th and 14th street: What is the power in a cultural symbol?Do I honor what it wasWhat it becameOr what it is becoming? I said: what is [...]
Muhajabats in America: Over-exposed?
Why does every Western representation, photo-essay, primetime special feature on Muslims in America exclusively focus on the muhajabat when portraying the American Muslim woman experience? Time magazine’s online photo-essay “Muslim in America” features 16 pics of “ordinary” Muslim activity in New York. Ironically, I have a good amount of friends featured in this pictorial account [...]
God Called On Him to Follow Britney Spears
Founder of 24-hour paparazzi-driven celebrity stalker service website, Hollywoodtv, proclaimed in a Nightline news interview on a story on “The Britney Economy”(prefaced by a fiercely uncool middle-aged, stiff, anchor intro-ing the story with the phrase “fo real”) that he was divinely inspired by God to follow Britney Spears. On a pligramige to Hajj, the British-born [...]
Muslim Music Videos: Outlandish and Kareem Salaama
It is refreshing to see a video that says “America you terrorize us and dehumanize us” instead of one that carries the message of: “Guess what we are not all terrorists; we human beings just like you as evidenced by our love for Justin Timberlake.” What I am speaking of are the different messages embodied [...]
An Open Letter to Obama From An Arab American
I wanted to believe in you. More so, I desperately wanted to believe in you. Blue all over the city of New York. Giants jerseys and Obama buttons I wanted to be one of the sea of blue-decked out in buttons and holding posters bearing your name, in support of your bid for the Democratic [...]
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